KH Fiction: To catch a falling star
by TheaBlackthorn
Summary: Begins with conversations and curiosity about catching there own falling star. AU Eventually Akuroku,Zemyx and Cleon
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Demyx had been going up to this roof for over a week now, ever since they had all moved in. He'd felt drawn there.

He just couldn't help it, he'd always loved high places.

Even at the old house, he would sit in the highest room, just gazing out at the ocean for hours on end. The young musician missed the salty breezes that used to blow in across the sea, the fresh air that washed all the worries of life away.

But he'd traded the ocean he loved for a sea of stars and, he guessed that it wasn't so bad in the end. Demyx could get just as lost up there as he did when gazing out into those endless blue depths. The sky was just as beautiful as the sea he loved.

So here he was, laying out on the roof of their new home, gazing up into a sky awash with stars, roof tiles firmly embedding themselves in his back. The moon not yet arisen to bleach out the sky and the tiny pricks of light million's of miles away.

This place had swiftly become Demyx little bit of peace - his refuge. Apparently, he had a habit, or so they told him, of finding calm in the oddest of things - it seemed fairly normal to him though.

The ocean had its teasing breezes, its rich swathes of colour and changing moods, the epic swell's to the lulling waves rolling ashore. The sky, is a thousand pinpricks of light in a blanket of velvety darkness, an endless oblivion that is enormous, and yet comforting in its vastness.

Would you believe that, in all these years, he'd very rarely looked up? Demyx had never realized what he'd been missing in all this time. A sea of stars so long and wide that it covered your vision from horizon to horizon. Who wouldn't get lost up there?

Living with two brothers could sometimes get a little – intense - and he found some degree of refuge up here. Cloud's was his eldest brother, he'd been out working since he was eighteen; he'd be twenty six next month, you'll never meet a more stoic man than Cloud.

Leon, Cloud's boyfriend, had been with them for at least eight years now. The two have been dating since they'd left home when they turned eighteen. Leon could rival Cloud for stoicism but, when he saw them together, they made him smile. They weren't big on public displays of affection, but it was the little things that Demyx would sometimes catch them doing. It showed how much they loved each other, soft words, small smiles and gentle glances.

That's just how they were.

There Mom and Dad had never minded; the eldest Strife's were always professing that, as long as there children were happy, they didn't mind what they chose for themselves. They're pretty liberal that way. Well, it's kinda backfired now. Demyx couldn't see any grandkids in their future, could you? But hey, that's what they chose and he was happy that they were happy - although they were rather noisy about it, even if they didn't show it in public!

Then there's Roxas; he's was Demyx's youngest brother. He'd turned eighteen a few weeks ago. He's at university right now, same as him, studying for his degree in Art and Design.

That's how he met Axel.

Axel's has been one of his closest friends for what felt like forever. Demyx didn't really remember how they'd met - he thought they were, what would be labelled, the misfits of their class at school and it just seemed right for them to be together, you know how that is right?

Axel always starts the mischief and Demyx always gets in trouble for it. As fiery in temperament as his spiky red locks would suggest, a more loyal friend he could never hope for. Axel was honest to the point of bluntness and had a sense of humour that had everyone chuckling.

Roxas and Axel didn't meet until recently because he and Axel had been at a different high school. Demyx's Mom had died a long time ago and, after a while, she had chosen to remarry. His mother hadn't wanted to make Demyx change schools after everything that had happened, she didn't want to move him in the middle of the school year, plus the fact that she was worried what would happen to Demyx without Axel nearby. Axel had really helped him when he'd needed it most.

After Dad died the world just... didn't feel the same. Demyx missed him something fierce. He'd always gotten on well with his Father, they had been very close. But he had a new family and plenty of friends around to keep him grounded.

It wasn't quite so simple then.

So, it was arranged that he would room with Axel until graduating from high school. Demyx didn't get to see his new family much then, it was quiet a distance to travel for short visits.

Axel was often away during holidays and, it seemed, any time Demyx was going home. He always invited the redhead if he was staying around for holidays, but he was often working or had things to get done. It really worried the musician for a while.

They decided, Demyx and his two brothers, to live together when he came up to go to University. It saved them a lot of money on expenses. Axel chose to come to go to the same place as he had, Hollow Bastion University. The campus was near to where both of Demyx's brothers were living. It is also the same place his lil' brother would be attending next year. Though Demyx is two years older than Roxas, the smaller blond had skipped a grade when he was younger. He's far too smart for his own good, though he's still a kid at heart most of the time.

Demyx never really understood why Axel never wanted to come with him when he visited home or, when he did, he would visit other friends and avoid their house like the plague. Demyx got used to it eventually, and just presumed it made Axel uncomfortable for some reason or another.

Axel's family aren't exactly close.

It was pretty rare that you could broach a subject like that with Axel. Sure, it was fine for him to be blunt to the point of rudeness but, turn the tables, and he disappeared as if the hounds of hell were on his heels. That or he'd knock you for six, and change the subject whether it was finished or otherwise.

Sometimes Demyx's best friend was a mystery even to him.

Roxas is the only person Demyx knew that Axel would try to open up to, even the intensely personal stuff that Axel would never talk about with Demyx was discussed with his brother.

Then everything changed, thanks to Roxas.

Axel changed after he met Roxas again. They'd moved up to Radiant Garden over the summer before they started at HBU. Axel came over for Roxas's seventeenth birthday party and, well, he never really left.

Axel became a permanent fixture in their house. It wasn't long after that that Demyx caught him watching Roxas, not in a weird way before you make that face! Axel looked happy just to lean in the kitchen doorway and watch him doing his homework at the table, peaceful in a way Demyx had never seen before.

It puzzled him at first, and then, everything started to lock into place. It was like that moment when you find the puzzle piece that links all the others together – a revelation he supposed. All because Axel had caught Demyx, watching him, watching Roxas.

The blush that had stained Axel's cheeks was brighter than his wild red mane. Well, that just gave it away. He was embarrassed at being caught doing something he thought he shouldn't be. But, Demyx could see from the looks he gave Roxas that this was more than just a crush. He didn't think he'd ever seen Axel look so content before – or so flustered. It made the musician laugh, amused by watching him stew under his gaze.

Demyx couldn't suppress his quiet laugher at Axel's reactions, that's how he'd caught him – Axel was just so raw and open. It was nothing like his normally closed off persona. How was it that Demyx had missed it, it was right there, clear as day?

Once Axel realised that he knew what the redhead was up to, he'd told him everything. Which, for Axel, was unusual, the man always played his cards pretty close to his chest, it proved, in Demyx's mind, just how much he cared about his lil' brother.

Axel had fallen head over heels when he'd seen him for the first time. Apparently, Roxas had been visiting, helping him with some schoolwork one day back when he and Axel were in the final year of school. It seemed that the impression had stuck, even though they hadn't really talked to each other.

That was just over a year ago.

Love at first site - who'd have thought it, especially of Axel. It's not like him and yet it strikes the least suspecting – or so they say.

Axel had been avoiding the house because he had been nervous and embarrassed – a particularly lethal combination in my dear friend. Axel being nervous and jittery flared his temper something awful.

So, once he felt he was ready, it took him nearly half a year to pluck up the nerve. Axel started trying to court Demyx's younger brother - hilarity ensued. He'd never seen someone so effectively bring out Roxas's violent streak.

Poor Axel did everything he could think of, but ended up bruised and battered for his efforts. It didn't help that Axel came off as being a bit on the arrogant side and, apparently, an absolute pervert for Roxas. Which is what Roxas always said irritated him the most, when Demyx had asked him about it.

Roxas, being Roxas, didn't want anything to do with, in his words, 'the arrogant pervert', whom we all call Axel. But, through sheer persistence and the eventual confession of affection and, over time, love for the short blond tempest Demyx called brother, it finally paid off.

Roxas gave in and they've been happy ever since.

Axel told Demyx once that part of what had brought Roxas around was when he'd come to visit him after finding out that his, 'lil' blondie' was sick.

Roxas had been asleep in his room, Axel had pleaded with Cloud to let him go up and check on him. Demyx had never seen, nor heard of Axel begging anyone for anything; he imagined that it was probably quite the sight. Cloud relented eventually, Demyx was sure he'd dragged it out on purpose, thought that would very un-Cloud like. Axel had been allowed to go upstairs to sit with Roxas whilst he slept.

Now Roxas, when sleeping, has a horrible habit of grabbing onto the things. He latched onto Axel's arm without realizing in his unconsciousness, successfully preventing Axel from leaving. Demyx knew that Rox would cuss up a storm when he awoke to find Axel that close. He'd think he'd been molested in his sleep or something daft like that. Roxas is smart, but sometimes really dumb.

Cloud had come upstairs to check on them and found them both asleep. Axel propped up rather precariously on the edge of the bed, trying to be the gentleman.

Roxas had told Demyx once that he had woken up to find Cloud leaning in the doorway with Leon's arms wrapped around his middle. Roxas said that the look on Cloud's face was something he'd always remember, not the familiar frown, but a warm contentment, and he said that he'd looked happy.

Roxas talks a lot when he's drunk. He didn't think he would have heard any of this if Roxas hadn't been. Cloud and Roxas are so much alike, reserved, guarded and wary of other's.

Demyx guessed that he made up for that.

Roxas said he'd given Cloud the look, that quirked eyebrow he got when he was saying, "Well – get lost would you." They left, leaving Roxas to snuggle up with Axel, instead of just his arm and falling asleep again.

Axel had woken later, completely unaware of anything that had happened whilst he had been asleep, finding Roxas pressed up against his chest, arms firmly laced around his middle, head resting over his heart.

Demyx remembered walking past their door and seeing that smile on Axel's face as he gently brushed the hair from Roxas's cheeks. It felt good to see them like that, Axel's never more content than when he's with Roxas. Though, they do love to tease eachother in something akin to all out war. But, to each there own.

Cloud, Roxas and he had been together for a long time now; even when Demyx was away at school, he'd tried to visit as much as possible. He was never more than an hour's bus ride away. He acknowledged the fact that they hadn't always gotten along. The early years were hard on all of them he thought – though Mom and Dad were happy. But its fine now, otherwise living together really wouldn't have worked out. But they figured, once Axel and he had returned to Radiant Garden, they'd need a bigger house.

Mom and Dad departed on a round-the-world safari/cruise, leaving us to fend for themselves with the money they'd left for their tuition.

They lived in Cloud's too small apartment for a short time. He'd bought it with the money he'd earned since leaving home to stay with Leon. Mom and Dad left he and Roxas money as well, so they'd pooled together their funds, figuring they would have enough to pay their way through University and squeeze out just enough to get a larger house.

They moved in to this house a week ago, after house hunting for months, living under each other's feet whilst trying to attend University and school. It was pretty nightmarish.

Now, here he was on the roof again, contemplating the past and the future.

Well, more like his life was rolling by without him. Demyx felt lonely. Seeing the others together all the time made something inside him, ache, and he couldn't always ignore it. He was happy for them all, but being around them, could sometimes be physically destroying. Demyx wanted what they had; he craved it with every fibre of his being - to be happy.

He could hear a faint shuffling sound against the tiles over by the window he had exited through to get up here, it seemed Demyx was to have some company in his quest for solitude.

"Hey Dem, mind if I join you for a bit?"

The question was silly really, considering Axel would likely join him whether he wanted company or not.

But there was something about Axel's voice, he sounded down, which spiked concern for his friend. It went against his fiery temperament to be sad, and Demyx figured, from previous experience, that either Roxas was busy or they'd had a fight. More than likely it was the latter.

Sometimes he wondered about the two of them. They seemed to enjoy sniping and picking on each other, as much as they liked to be spend time just being with eachother. Then one would go too far and they'd sulk, until whoever was in the wrong apologized.

"Pull up a tile, Axel." He parked it on the other side of the roof , doing much the same as Demyx was doing, absently staring up into oblivion.

A comfortable silence stretched out across the rooftop, he could feel Axel relaxing. Sometimes Axel is very, what's the word, volatile? He was rarely still for long periods. But, every now and then, he needed to blow off some steam. He always used to gravitate to Demyx for that, he said that there was always an air of calm around him that he found relaxing, it helped him think.

Axel seemed to find that same calm around Roxas, but if they were fighting he'd always come and see him. Demyx thought that it helped Axel to be around calm people, it gave him time to figure stuff out. Though Demyx loved his brother dearly, sometimes Roxas was just as bad as Axel – two very quirky peas in a pod. He often came to him for the same reason.

Demyx was the laid back one among their group of friends, always good for a laugh, never having any worries, always good at being company without needing to poke and prod about what was the matter, unless it really counted. But even he had problems and unfortunately he very rarely get to voice them. He wasn't complaining, but it would be nice to have someone to share with.

Now that Axel's was up here he wondered if the redhead would kill him for asking about his relationship with Roxas. He'd always been tight lipped about that particular subject. Demyx didn't want to bug him, but he really wanted to know what it was like – to have what they had together.

It was just like Leon and Cloud, they just seem to fit. It's natural for them to be together. And Demyx wouldn't dare ask his older brother, he would likely just ignore him, not comfortable with answering such a question. He really hated personal conversations like that, those kinds of things are private and not for public ears in his mind and Leon's too.

But Demyx wanted to know, need to.

He decided quickly, much was his want; he was going to ask him.

"Hey, Axel?" Demyx could hear the tentative question pass his lips, his voice shaking just the smallest bit.

"Hmm... what do you want, Dem?" Axel sounded calm enough, maybe he wouldn't wallop him one for being curious.

"Can I ask you something?" He could feel the tremble course across his skin, as he tried to decide how to phrase the next part of his question. His hand drift up to lay across his eyes, he could feel the beginnings of warmth spreading across his cheeks and he needed the extra defence if Axel tried to end his curiosity with a well placed hand.

"Even if I said no, you'd still ask – so what is it?" Axel sounded resigned to answering Demyx query and that made him feel a little better. He just hope he wouldn't be mad at him or storm off.

"Do you love Roxas?"

The profuse spluttering that he heard coming from the other side of the roof made him want to hide the slight quirk of his lips that Axel wouldn't see in the dark. He didn't think he'd ever heard Axel at a loss for words to the point of making such funny sounds. Demyx could feel the heat radiating from Axel from where he was on the other side of the roof. Demyx would bet Axel had turned at least three different shades of red already, whilst trying to control his coughing fit.

To be honest, his own cheeks held a significant amount of colour too, he could feel the warmer spot's of skin against his forearms as they rested across his face. He knew he was treading on awkward ground but, he needed this. Demyx didn't like asking such forthright questions about something so private, but whom else could he ask? Axel was his oldest friend.

It sounded like the coughing fit had stopped, and he could hear Axel's voice drifting over the roof peak, "I... uh... um ... what... aww, hell... yes Dem, I do. Why do you ask such an odd question anyways? You know I care about him." His voice sounded a bit hesitant, curious and a bit rough with what Demyx could guess was embarrassment.

"I wanted to know what that was like is all. I've never been in love with someone before." Demyx could hear the curiosity in his own voice, the slight hitch that signified that he was getting rather emotional about the subject. He could feel it in the pit of his belly, as it churned nervously as all the hairs on his body stood on end.

Demyx wondered if Axel could hear his emotions when he spoke as clearly as he could his. He could hear a quiet rustle of cloth against tile. Demyx knew Axel was rolling over to look over the peak of the roof at him and he didn't dare look up. Axel wouldn't really be able to see him in the dark, but still, he was too embarrassed to let Axel see him. It would only make it worse. Demyx could feel Axel's stare digging into the top of his head.

"You're my friend Axel. Y- you're the only person I could ask. I'm s... sorry for irritating you." In truth, he'd been thinking about it for so long that finally getting Axel alone, without Roxas, he couldn't have resisted asking the redhead if he'd tried.

"A... Axel – what does it feel like to love?" Demyx didn't really know if he had heard his question. Axel was being so quiet, but it wasn't a tense quiet as Demyx might have thought it would be. More a soothing silence as though they were both deeply engrossed in their thoughts. He glanced back over his shoulder, trying to see if he could locate those very prominent spikes of Axel's against the darkness.

Demyx could hear him settling back against the roof tiles, another quiet rustle of cloth was heard before he could hear that familiar voice speak softly, "Like you could touch the stars." Axel's voice sounded so content and soft - almost reverent.

The blond haired musician could tell he was thinking about Roxas when he said that, not really realizing that he'd spoken so tenderly. Demyx thought that he might have realized when he heard Axel shift restlessly against some of the loose roofing tiles on the other side. Demyx considered the idea that if he'd been next to him, Axel probably would have bolted by now; that would be just like him. To uncomfortable with the subject but not able to deny his friend the answers he asked for. Demyx settled back more comfortably against the roof, feeling the tiles bight through the cloth of his navy blue t-shirt and into his skin.

Demyx wasn't expecting Axel to say anything else but, as always, he surprised him.

"But, at the same time it makes you feel vulnerable, Dem. They hold your heart in their hands, but you hold theirs too. You love them all the more for it. Does that make sense?"

Demyx could tell that Axel really wanted him to get it, he was trying to explain it to him but because he'd never felt like that before, he just couldn't. But Demyx wanted to, so much that he could feel a pain in his chest, like iron fingers wrapping around his heart and squeezing. Demyx had known for a while that he was hurting inside. The normally bubble young musician felt empty and lonely, but he always managed to hide it from everyone else. Now he wondered whether he hadn't hidden it as well as he'd thought.

Demyx wanted, so desperately, to know what it felt like to truly touch the stars. If nothing else, seeing Axel and Roxas together and Cloud with Leon, made him realize the true depth of his own loneliness.

He couldn't ever begrudge them their happiness. They fit so well together, but at times he was jealous of that closeness, it was something they all shared. Demyx remembered catching Axel and Roxas once, asleep on the couch. Axel had come over to watch a movie with Roxas and, instead, the two had both fallen asleep entwined together. He didn't think they'd ever realised that he was there. Demyx could see they were both content in each other's arms. He wanted to know that feeling, he wanted to know that kind of love, so much.

"Thanks Axel – sorry for springing a question like that on you out of the blue. I just... needed to know. You know?" Demyx's voice had quieted down to a whisper, the hitch slowly subsiding, but Axel heard him anyway.

"Yeah – I know."

Axel's acceptance of his curiosity was one of the reasons he was such a great friend, even if he was emotionally stunted at times. Demyx let the quiet laugh that bubbled up escape his lips at that thought. Axel may not believe it of himself but, he is a very loyal and caring person.

Demyx respected him for that.

A comfortable lull settled over the roof again. Demyx reached his hand out, finger's splayed wide as he watched the star's through them before a sudden idea caught his wondering thoughts. He moved his hand into a pincer like shape, trying to catch a star between the tips of his fingers, as though he could capture the spinning ball of energy.

He lay there wondering about his life, would he ever be able to find the one that was just for him? Would he be lucky enough to find the person that would turn his world upside down?

Kami, he hoped so.

He glanced over at the sudden light that spilled out from one of the windows in the house across the street. Demyx could see a shadow moving around inside the room against the closed blind's, the light hallowing the figure so they appeared as a shadow against the light coloured material.

He wondered idly who lives there. Demyx hadn't seen anyone in the week since he and his brothers had moved in, but maybe the person worked strange hours or something. Maybe he'd go and say hello to them tomorrow. It's always good to know your neighbours.

The light at the window overlooking the rooftop came on and, turning to look, Demyx could see a familiar shadow. He'd know that silhouette anywhere.

Roxas had come to find the wayward Axel. "Axel – I think you're wanted."

Demyx heard him grunt in response from the other side of the roof as his lanky friend got up to leave. The rustling of clothing shifting paused for a moment and he could hear the quiet tenor of Axel's voice drifting to his ears. "Dem, you will find it one day, that star you're searching for."

Demyx laid there for a moment, contemplating that thought, a small smile slowly tilting his lips. He didn't see Axel stride silently across the roof without a backward glance, dropping down onto the sill and sliding into the house to meet Roxas. Demyx was left with a tumble of thoughts and a new appreciation for his fiery friend.

He could hear Axel and Roxas mumbling together but chose to turn back to the stars, giving them their privacy. Maybe tomorrow would be the day? But, even if it isn't, Axel was right.

Demyx would find it – however long he'd need to wait, it would happen - someday.

00-00-00

On the other side of the window in the small corridor containing the roof access window a silent red head faced off with a quiet blonde.

"So... what's wrong with, Dem? He's been quieter lately," the blond spoke in a whisper so as to insure the object of their conversation couldn't hear him.

"Nothing – it's nothing, Rox. Just leave him be." Axel's voice, although just as quiet, was laden with emotions, it sounded heavy. It was clear that Axel was thinking about something and, whether they were arguing or not, Roxas wanted to know what was causing it.

"Axel, he's my brother. Tell me what's bothering him...mmphf," Roxas's voice was a quiet growl, but the sound was suddenly muffled by cloth as Axel pulled him forward, crushing Roxas to him.

Roxas was startled by the sudden embrace but he didn't resist, feeling the tension in his partner's body as he was pulled as close as he could possibly be to the redhead without him being physically melted into his skin.

Axel wrapped his toned arms around Roxas drawing the shorted blond into the lee between's his long legs. He needed to be close, he felt a burgeoning sadness filling his chest and he didn't like it, not one bit.

"Axel? What's the matter?" Roxas's voice came out as a trembling whisper, "Axel?" A gentle tug on Axel's sleeve was all he could manage with his arms practically pinned to his sides; it was enough to draw that stunning emerald gaze down to his own sky blue.

Axel released his tight grip just enough to let Roxas breathe, leaning down and nuzzling into the collar of Roxas's shirt, absorbing his warmth and the rich smell of vanilla. He let his lips brush along Roxas' skin as he told him what he wanted to know, that ache filling his words, "He's lonely, Rox. And I think, sometimes, we all make it worse. He wanted to know what it was like to... love someone."

A shiver ghosted down Axel's spine at his almost confession as he turned his face from Roxas's throat, staring at the brown carpeted floor. He very rarely gave voice to those words, but he was trying with Roxas, it was one of the few ways to make the small blond haired man see what he meant to him.

Roxas shifted, shrugging off Axel's arms, reaching a hand up to turn Axel's face to his, to look him in the eyes that he loved far too much. He ran his thumb tenderly across Axel's sharp jaw line, until he could pinch Axel's chin between thumb and forefinger's, tugging gently to draw Axel down to him. Roxas's placed a chaste kiss against thin lips and then pressed their foreheads together, eye's never parting from their steady gaze.

Axel could see the smile touching the corners of Roxas lips and could feel the tingle of his skin where he'd been so tenderly touched. He felt that ache in his chest ease, Roxas's warmth spilling forth to fill the hollowness that had made him feel so desperate for touch – connection.

Roxas's lips quirked into an almost wicked smile as he watched Axel's jewel like orb's lighten, the frown that had furrowed his brow slipping away, "Then _we_ are going to have to help Demy find out what it is to love - won't we, Axel?"

"Yes – we will." Axel's lips shifted into his trademark grin, the momentary lapse into such weighty thoughts and feelings slipping away. He stared down at the brother of his best friend and reached out a hand to tug him back into his grasp – all fighting forgotten for the pleasure of having eachother.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It was a glorious summer day: the sky as clear as crystal with not a cloud in sight and the heat practically unbearable. What Zexion wouldn't give for a nice cold drink right now whilst listening to the quiet hum of the cicadas that were always a part of the summers here. The sounds slowly melted into the background. Did he really care? Not much, but it passed the time whilst walking home.

Zexion had never been the kind of person to sit and admire the scenery; his friends had always said he was far too serious, but he'd always been this way. He wouldn't know how to be any other way. He wasn't planning on change now – or so he had thought.

Clutched firmly in his arms were two of those irritating brown paper bags loaded with shopping, the oranges rolling around loose inside. That had been a mistake; they kept moving around and threatening to fall out.

Because of those two bags, Zexion didn't see the blur of blond that came hurtling towards him. It was too late when he did realise that there was a kid, on a skateboard, coming right at him. Zexion was too busy trying to resettle the bags he held in his arms, attempting to retrieve his house keys from his pocket as he rounded the corner onto his street. A blond blur and a solid hit to the chest later and he was sprawled flat on his ass, shopping bags crumpled on the concrete path, groceries strewn across the pavement, whilst his oranges attempted to roll away down the road.

Zexion sat stunned for a few moments, trying to regain his composure and shake of his disorientation after being winded so thoroughly. He could feel a familiar scowl situate itself across his brow as he started to breathe properly again. As he shifted he felt a twinge in his tailbone where he'd impacted firmly with the concrete. Zexion could feel the fire of his usually well controlled temper licking at the corners of his mind. He may not have been paying as much attention as he should have been as he walked up the road, but that kid should have been paying more; fooling around on such a dangerous contraption and being oblivious to his surroundings was a recipe for disaster.

Muttering expletives under his breath, Zexion slowly rose to his feet, wincing where his body ached in response to its more-than-firm contact with the pavement. Glancing around, he noticed that the kid was still there, standing, glaring back at him from bright cerulean orb's, as though it was his fault for being in the blond haired boy's way.

Zexion eyed the other male with disdain, shorter than his own five foot six, unruly blonde hair, piercing sky blue eyes focused in a firm scowl, typical baggie trousers and a shirt over a t-shirt in shades of cream and red with funny black patterns all over. Zexion's scowl deepened.

Analysis complete, he affirmed that, yes, this kid was another little punk on a skateboard, never watching where he was going.

"Don't just stand there, you just knocked me over, all my shopping's on the floor and it's your fault." The accusation left his lips on a burst of fiery energy that he very rarely felt. Zexion thought he may have even shocked himself at his sudden outburst. He raised tentative fingers to his lips in a state of what could be called mild panic.

The blond haired male glared at Zexion darkly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, and then turned as though to leave. He could feel his temper fraying around the edges at the rudeness of this kid and, his normally very well controlled emotions, unravelled at an alarming rate. Zexion didn't know what was happening to him and why this particular kid had caused it, but it was rather frightening. He could feel the emotions boiling under the surface of his skin; feelings he hadn't allowed himself to feel in many years.

How could one person be so inconsiderate?

Zexion could hear someone yelling in the distance but didn't really take much notice, but he saw the kid in front of him flinch at that sound. It made him question why he'd had that reaction or who could cause it? He dismissed the blond haired male in front of him, instead attempting to locate that voice that he could just about hear. He slowly tried to right himself and conscious that his shopping was trying to escape as he moved around like an old man, his back ached and his leg's felt just a little unstable.

That's when he saw what could only be described as a gorgeous example of the male form approaching the kid that had just knocked him over. All Zexion could focus on was him, flaxen blond hair in an unusual cut, a mix of a Mohawk and a mullet, slender figure wrapped in baggy jeans and a sky blue t-shirt.

Zexion thought he'd be an inch or so bigger than him on closer inspection. He could also make out a sensual mouth and finely arched brows as this new person came closer, but he couldn't see his eyes, as they were closed tightly in what looked like consternation with fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose.

Zexion wanted to see his eyes quite fervently. He didn't know what was driving that need and he didn't want to understand but he wanted to see.

Stumbling almost clumsily to his feet, wincing as his muscles reacted to the sudden movement, Zexion tried to focus on what this cute guy was saying, trying to distract himself from both his body and his rapidly escalating temper. When Zexion finally realised what was being said he could see the older blond giving the other male a through dressing down.

"Roxas, you were shirking your chores again, weren't you? You're supposed to be helping with the unpacking and here I find you out on your skateboard – _again._" That voice was warm and melodious as it flowed into his ears, even when trying to sound mad and formidable. He sounded more exasperated than anything else.

Zexion could only stand there and listen avidly to that voice, blinking idiotically. He found himself intently focused on those sumptuous lips as they spilled forth such delicate and lilting sounds.

Sumptuous - where the hell had that come from?

There was something seriously wrong with him.

Shaking his head cautiously, Zexion tried to dislodge those strange thoughts. His hair filtered down from where he had tucked it behind his right ear. Maybe he'd hit his head when he'd landed on the pavement?

Zexion puzzled over the odd thought's trying to fill his logical mind, he never thought words like sumptuous. Never mind about some guy's lips. What's the matter with me?

But, even as he was thinking it, Zexion's eyes drifted back to those lips, watching the stranger yell at what he could only assume to be his younger brother, from what he could discern from the conversation. Trying to reign in his uncharacteristically chaotic thoughts Zexion focused harder on what was being said, that gentle voice penetrating deeper into the haze that had surrounded him since _he_ had arrived.

"Roxas – did you cause this mess? You ran into him didn't you?" It was clear that the dirt-blonds' annoyance was rising. Zexion could see from the frown that was slowly marring the smooth skin of his forehead – and yet he seemed even cuter for his show of temper. As though he didn't do it very often – it made Zexion want to smile.

Shaking his head again, trying to focus on the situation at hand, rather than the idea of smiling at something so inane, and attempting to further dislodge any lingering thoughts of the guy in front of him. Zexion realized that they were both looking at him now and then at the ground covered with his shopping.

If Zexion could blush he probably would have done so, but, fortunately, he didn't. Many people said that he was unemotional and cold; to be truthful, that is what Zexion strove to be and, if he said so himself, he was pretty good at it.

Zexion didn't like people's attention, and here he was, the focus of two very avid stares – with his emotions apparently painted all over his face. Zexion turned his gaze away, shielding his stormy grey eyes from further inspection, his slate coloured hair falling further in over of his right eye from where it had been tucked behind his ear. The thick dark locks effectively covering one side of his face like a barrier.

"It's not my fault – he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing!" The kid was professing his innocence to his brother, but was also inadvertently digging himself a hole, according to the expression on the other's face, which Zexion watched beneath lowered lashes.

"Cloud's gonna have your hide, Rox." Who Cloud was he had no idea, but the threat seemed to cause some of the kid's expression to drop to mild agitation at getting caught, rather than all out complaint.

He could feel his temper fraying further. What was it about this kid that irritated him so? Zexion couldn't help what he said next, "I beg your pardon! You ran into me, full pelt without an apology or an 'Are you hurt?' when I landed on my ass. Then you were just going to leave me here!"

That felt so much better. Who knew anger could be such an outlet. It was highly satisfying.

That had cracked it; Zexion could see the frown transforming into disbelief, which flashed into anger on the attractive man's face, "Roxas Strife! How could you do that and then just leave him there?"

The very concerned expression he turned on Zexion next made him feel weak at the knees. If he hadn't been struggling to get up, Zexion might have actually fallen right back down on his ass again.

By force of will alone and the impetuous of a tender backside kept him relatively upright. The dirty-blond haired man looked so worried about him that he was momentarily shocked. It was a unique experience. Nobody cared about him. Zexion have few friends and no family left, so why was this guy behaving this way?

"I'm sorry about my brother, he doesn't mean any harm." The placating gestures were very kind and those words coming from him in that voice sent a shiver down Zexion's spine. He could feel my anger ebbing away.

That voice was smooth and sweet like honey, but the audible snort that came from his kid brother grated on Zexion's nerves and sent his temper flaring up again. It was dangerously close to tipping over the edge. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this angry.

Roxas, that's his name right, must have seen it as he visibly clutched his board and made moves to back away. Zexion could feel his anger radiating from him, rippling out in waves. The glare he shot at the slight blond would have made most people run for the hills – he'd been perfecting it for the last ten years. It was effective against most people.

"Don't you dare," Zexion's voice was deadly calm, but there was a grating quality to it that even he could hear. The threat was highly valid. He may not go out of his way to fight, but that didn't mean he couldn't. If the kid pushed him much more he would snap, he could feel the tension in his body. Normally, Zexion had far better control than this, but he just couldn't quite seem to grasp it again.

The brat ran.

Zexion pursued, he wasn't exactly sure why he did it – but the brat had gotten under his skin better than most were able to. Zexion was running after the little brat full tilt, he just pissed him off too much.

Zexion's voice rumbled out of him, "Get back here you little brat!"

He disappeared around the corner seconds before Zexion, heading onto a familiar street. Zexion came to an abrupt halt, his heart tripping in his chest, blood rushing in his ears, breath rasping out of him from the sudden exertion.

What he'd found was the kid darting to hide behind someone who had their arms held open for him.

Zexion watched him scramble behind the lanky red head and scale up his back like a monkey, wrapping both arms firmly around said redheads shoulders whilst sputtering frantically, "He's gonna kill me, Axel. Keep that fucking nut bar away from me." His desperate gasps made Zexion want to smile.

He could hear the quiet chuckle that slipped out of the red heads lips, "What are you talking about you idiot?"

Zexion knew that voice, focusing his attention on it he recognised the person being used as a tree. Who wouldn't with that long lanky frame, teardrop tattoos under both eyes, not to mention that shock of red spikes?

Axel.

"There's a creepy guy chasing me, I knocked him over and now he's after me." The words whooshed out of the brat on a gust of air as he saw Zexion turn a fierce glare in his direction. Zexion could see Axel's eyebrows lift in question as he swung his emerald gaze around to settle on him just as Zexion spoke.

"So you admit to knocking me over then? That's something at least; the next would be an apology." Zexion's voice fairly rumbled out of him.

Axel nodded at him in recognition, but his left eyebrow remained raised at his tone of voice. Axel wouldn't actually ask him what was going on, but he implied that the question had been voiced.

"Rox, Zexion wouldn't just go running after people in the street, that's just not like him." Axel's voice held the same familiar warmth of the friend he had come to know, one of the few Zexion had truthfully, but he could also hear a hint of amusement in it. Zexion reached up in an unconscious gesture, tucking the loose strands of his hair back behind his ear.

"Wha…? You know this fruitcake?" Roxas sputtered. "He just ran me down before I got behind you, just ask Dem."

Zexion could see the curiosity slipping into Roxas's sky blue eyes as he looked between Axel and me. He obviously wanted to know how he and Axel knew each other, but was still very wary of him. Roxas's seemed very familiar with Axel though, Axel having had his arms flung open wide for an embrace from the small blond whirlwind.

Zexion watched as Axels gaze drifted past him to look over his right shoulder, addressing someone behind him as he spoke.

"Dem, is your brother going mad or what?"

Zexion felt sympathy for Axel at that moment, the punch that was firmly planted into the lanky redhead's upper arm by the little monkey looked like it hurt, if the flinch that flickered across his features was any indication, "Oww – Rox, that hurt."

He could hear footsteps quietly approaching from behind him.

"Nope – for once it's all truth, the guy's pretty spry too, Axel."

Zexion felt his cheek's warm at the praise he had inadvertently received, but he noticed Axel's eyebrows shift even higher in obvious surprise at his friend's words. He'd never known Zexion to be anything but quiet and bookish. Zexion didn't go out of his way to get physical with others, but could if the need arose. But most people didn't know that.

Dem, as they had called him, came to a stop on Zexion's right side. All the skin on that side of his body stood to attention. He could feel his face colouring ever so slightly darker. He was blushing! Shit, Zexion never blushed and all because of some cute blond guy he'd met not five minutes ago?

Running his hand up into his hair in a nervous gesture, Zexion let it fall forward again, covering the right side of his face, hiding his reddened skin from the guy behind him, who now had a name - _Dem_.

Zexion thought he recognized that name. Axel had spoken to him about Dem not too long ago, in class if he recalled. Axel said that he was some kind of musician or that he was taking music, Zexion couldn't quite remember.

He looked up to see Axel watching him with confused emerald eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. Zexion caught something sparkling in those emerald eyes of his as though he, more than likely, noticed the slight pinking of his cheeks. Zexion could now feel the delicate warmth, almost like the beginnings of a fever, when his other friend arrived on the scene. Not to mention the fact that he had hidden behind his hair in an attempt to veil his suddenly darkened cheeks.

Unbeknownst to most people, Axel was rather perceptive at the most annoying of times. Zexion visibly shrugged and turned to leave.

He could hear Axel sighing as he turned away, "Zexion, you all right?"

Zexion didn't stop or turn around but raised his hand in a nonchalant wave, sneaking a glance through his bangs at the guy that had stood behind him as he passed. Dem was stunning; his eyes were the colour of the ocean.

Zexion walked around him and then just kept on going. He could hear Axel and the brat muttering to each other quietly, the brat most likely getting answers to all his nosy questions. His anger was dissipating as though it had never been. He didn't notice anyone following him back to his spilled groceries until he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder, eliciting a slight jump from him.

That hand warmth through the thick cotton of Zexion's sweatshirt, sensitizing the flesh underneath, leaving it begging for skin-to-skin contact. As that feeling surged through him, he wanted to shrug off that hand, to distance himself. People don't touch Zexion – he hadn't been touched intentionally by anyone in a long time.

Zexion shied away from physical contact with people, his friends all made an effort not to get too close to him.

But Zexion stopped as soon as the person who'd followed him spoke, "You gonna be alright? I'm sorry about my brother. He's a bit of a menace."

That warm velvety voice froze Zexion to the spot.

He wanted that hand to stay there, against all that he had been trying to avoid over the years. It felt good, Dem's touch and that voice felt like a caress that soothed all his riled nerves. It was velvety soft and so rich with feeling, it settled what was left of his temper back into its rightful place. Zexion felt the blush staining his cheeks once more and he couldn't bear to turn around and look at the dirty-blond haired man whilst he was still ruffled and, dare he say it, nervous.

He was never nervous.

Zexion kept his eyes down as he reluctantly slipped from under that warm hand, focusing on retrieving the errant fruit as he spoke, "I'll be fine – thank you." Since when was he polite to other people? Zexion could feel his mind shifting, trying not to be the chilly person everyone knew so well, wanting to go towards this one person who had shown him kindness so easily.

Zexion could literally feel the smile that spread across his Dem's face, it felt like the sun on his back. He saw his hand in the periphery of his vision as he bent for another fruit. Zexion watched him rub his palm against his thigh as though he'd received a shock, then bent to retrieve a few more oranges and deposited them into the paper bags.

"You need a hand with these?" Zexion shrugged noncommittally. All he could pay attention to was Dem's proximity: it made him feel flush all over.

He'd never felt like this before. He couldn't even say what this was.

Zexion's heart was beating erratically, his palms clammy, and he was struggling to string a sensible sentence together in his head. But he couldn't seem to focus enough to actually form coherent sentences.

"Quiet one, aren't you? Well - when you're not yelling at my brother." Dem smiled at him then and he felt it again, that lingering warmth, like a hot towel straight from the radiator, cosy - comforting.

Zexion scrambled to apologise, "I ... urm... sorry... I... don't... I… mean... I'm not..." He let out a sigh, and took a deep calming breath, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation at his tongued tiredness. "I'm not usually like that." He felt like an idiot.

"Well, that's good to know." Zexion could hear the wry amusement in his tone.

Zexion looked up at Dem then, and thought that he may have fell right there. That smile could melt anyone's cold heart, but those eyes made him feel like they were focused only on him. They were an intense blue green just the colour of the ocean.

Dem looked at Zexion like he was the most important person in the world. It felt like he had reached inside Zexion's chest and brushed tender fingers across something that had not been touched in a very long time. He felt it quiver inside his chest. Looking into those fathomless, aqua blue eyes Zexion could see something reflected back, a spark of recognition there, only briefly, but it was there.

They stood there for a few minutes simply looking at each other, Dem's aqua blue eyes boring steadily into his own stormy grey. It confused the hell out of Zexion. He could feel his cheeks flushing and, oddly enough, he could see Dem's were as well. And he could see that Dem was fidgeting nervously with his fingers, long delicate fingers, twining and re-twining them together.

Their eyes broke away from each other when Zexion heard a distinct throat being cleared, looking over to see Axel, with an arm slung around Roxas's shoulders, watching them together with a rather meaningful quirk to his lips.

Zexion gave him a fierce glare, before turning and gathering up his bags, mumbling quietly, "Thank you for the help." His face flushed more at the acknowledgement that Axel was aware of his sudden emotional outburst.

Zexion didn't look up again, but quickly gathered the rest of his spilled food and walked to straight to his house, his back ramrod straight. He swiftly unlocked the dark green painted wooden front door, and then disappearing inside without a backward glance.

Though he knew there was more than one set of eyes trained on his back, the only one he felt right down to his toes was ocean blue in colour and warmed his skin all over, causing a shiver to course down his spine.

Zexion got inside and slumped against the solid bulk of the front door, slowly sliding down to sit dazedly on the floor. What was that and why did he keep closing his eyes to see aqua blue orbs looking right back at him? That pure unwavering gaze seemed to penetrate his very soul.

What was this feeling inside his chest?

And who exactly was Dem?

00-00-00

"Well that was interesting. What did you do to make Zexion mad? I've never seen the guy break loose like that. He behaves like an emotionless jerk most of the time." Axel's words reached Roxas as he began to analyze Zexion's reactions to his brother.

His behaviour had done a complete one eighty in the space of a few moments.

"I ran into him by accident when I was on my 'board and didn't apologize," He mumbled quietly, not really wanting to admit to it.

Axel was quiet for a moment. "That's it – nothing else?" Roxas could hear the curiosity in his boyfriend's voice, but there was also the same concern he had shown for Demyx just yesterday.

There was obviously something bothering him about Zexion.

What was bothering Roxas, however, was this weird guy's behaviour around Demyx and the fact that Axel had never really mentioned the guy before. The name may have come up in passing, but he couldn't remember when or why.

"Axel? Did you notice the way he suddenly changed when he saw Dem? His attitude completely reversed," Roxas spoke in a quiet whisper so Demyx wouldn't hear him as he slipped down from Axel's back.

"I was aware – more so of the fact that Zexion never loses his cool, plus he was blushing and trying to hide it." Roxas noticed Axel's sudden shift in attention, his head jerked up, looking straight down the street where Zexion had been. Roxas made a note of how the crazy guy and Demyx had disappeared.

"Hmmm... I wonder." He started to walk towards the street corner, hearing Axel's booted feet following him slowly.

"What, pray tell, are you wondering? And I'm wondering if it's the same thing I was wondering?" Looking back, Axel's head was cocked slightly to one side as he often did when he was thinking up one of his lil' plans, a fact Roxas found rather cute, though he'd never tell Axel that.

Stopping before they reached the corner, Roxas walked back to Axel and reached up to tug gently on his red spikes. It was something he often did as a show of affection. "What are you scheming?"

Roxas could see the calculating look in Axel's eyes that often boded ill for whomever was the object of his attentions.

"Hmm..." Axel reached out, wrapping long fingers around Roxas's arms and tugging him up against his taller frame. Roxas looked up as his lover lowered his head, whispering against slightly parted lips, "I think, by the looks on both their faces, that we may have found someone for Dem a lot sooner than we anticipated."

Axel's lips pressed lightly against his own in a tender kiss, eliciting a soft gasp as Roxas's sense were consumed with Axel's scent and taste. Axel withdrew quickly, leaving Roxas slightly dazed as he wrapped a hand around his left wrist and lightly tugging him around the corner.

They were just in time to catch Demyx helping Zexion pick up his shopping. Just by watching the two of them together, even though they couldn't hear them speaking, they could see there was something going on. They were both eyeing eachother none too subtly.

Slinging an arm around Roxas's shoulders, Axel lent down to speak quietly to him. "Told you; it's so obvious it's kind of funny and Zexion lives across the road from you."

Coming out of his daze, Roxas glanced across the street and then back up at his lanky partner. "You wanna fix that nut bar up with my brother? Are you crazy?"

Roxas could hear his voice escalating in pitch and suddenly Axel leant down further and covered his parted lips with his own a most pleasant way of silencing him. Roxas was prone to having a quick temper but, thankfully, it never lasted long – but this tactic Axel had adopted a few months ago had always seemed to diffuse his sudden tempers, giving Roxas something else to think about.

Axel just has that kind of effect on him. Axel made his mind go blank.

It had the nice aside that it was always good to be kissed by Axel. He was everything warm and sweet a guy could ask for, when he wasn't being a lecherous pervert, and his lips tasted like cinnamon and chocolate. Axel pulled away from Roxas too soon, causing him to elicit a rather unhappy whimper in protest as his eyes fluttered, trying to open.

"I think we are a lil' too late for helping Dem choose someone. Look at them, they seem pretty enamoured already." Roxas could hear him chuckling lightly in his ear as his breath gusted over the sensitive shell, making him shiver as Roxas felt his customary scowl fall back into place.

"Fine, but I don't like him." Roxas could hear what could almost be considered a pout enter his voice. But he didn't care –the guy was odd.

"I think you might, Zexion's not a bad guy – he's just had a few problems is all. We all know what that's like. He hasn't had it easy so give him a chance, alright?" Axel's voice was quiet but Roxas could still hear the concern that he felt for the other man.

Heaving his body in a pronounced sigh Roxas responded to Axel's request, "Alright, since you asked so nicely, Axel." Axel reached out and ruffled Roxas's already unruly blond locks in a fond and affectionate way.

"Thanks Roxy." Roxas felt himself stiffen at that particular name, he hate being called Roxy – his name was Roxas, dammit!

"Don't call me that!" He bit out, sending a glare in Axel's direction, but he never thought or considered shrugging off the arm Axel had draped over his shoulders.

"What? Roxy?" The mischievous smirk lighting Axel's lips made Roxas clench his fist with the intent of giving Axel another solid punch in the ribs. He saw Axel shift again, his attention caught by something else as Roxas watched a more sedate smile whisper over his lover's lips. It made his heart squeeze in a sweet way.

Roxas turned to follow Axel's gaze, watching the scene play out between Demyx and Zexion, even he could see there was something between them. Roxas felt his lips shift into a gentle smile.

They looked on, catching Zexion's gaze as he looked up to see them both standing and watching them. He was oddly pleased by the sudden flush that highlighted the slate haired man's cheeks. Roxas watched as Zexion turned to say something to Demyx and then walked away like he had a pole shoved up his ass. He went to the house directly opposite theirs and disappeared inside.

Axel made Roxas jump when his deep tenor rang out across the road, "Dem, come on, I came around to do some coursework, remember?" Roxas turned his face up to Axel, scowl firmly in place.

Then, he turned back to watch his brother.

Roxas saw him shake himself off as though he'd been in a daze – he knew what that felt like.

Watching him turn around to look at them, Roxas saw him flush delicately and then listened as spoke absently whilst watching the door to the house Zexion had just disappeared into.

"Hmm... ohh... yeah... sorry about that, what were we gonna be working on again?"

His voice was quiet, thoughtful and more than a bit distracted by Roxas's guess. Demyx shook his head again and turned away from the other house, walking in an easy gait towards Roxas and Axel, hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck, ruffling up his hair.

They fell into place on either side of him, turning and heading back into the house.

Thinking back to what happened to start this all off Roxas winced, realizing that Demyx had been right. If he didn't help out more Cloud would kill him when he got home.

So, slowly gathering things as he passed and propping his skateboard by the front door, Roxas thoughts slowly started to align themselves.

There were some things he wanted to think about. First, he wanted to know more about this Zexion and he was intent on making Axel tell him, even if it would have to wait until later. Second, he wanted to know what Demyx thought of the guy. But, like Cloud, he could lay a solid bet that he wouldn't divulge such information willingly.

It seemed Axel was intent on teasing information out of Demyx on his opinions of the more stoic slate haired man named Zexion. Roxas noted that Demyx was keeping very tight lipped about it but, as he had predicted that already, Roxas wasn't really that surprised. Demyx was always like that about very personal things, he was just like Cloud that way. Roxas would be surprised if Axel hadn't figured that out before and was now just teasing him for the hell of it.

As he saw them on and off between his unpacking and grabbing snacks during the afternoon, he caught Demyx gazing out across the garden to the front of the house, although Roxas was sure he was looking at something just beyond it. Catching Axel's gaze, Roxas rolled his eyes at him, eliciting a laugh like molten flames. He loved that sound: it made his heart flutter in his chest.

Smiling just a bit Roxas wandered off, while Axel nudged Dem into doing some more work. It looked like he wasn't going to have a choice in the matter. Demyx was fascinated by Zexion and it looked like the feeling was mutual- at least he hoped it is. Even so, if Zexion hurts Demyx he will pay for it.

Nobody hurts my family.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Axel had been standing outside for a quiet while now, but nobody had answered the door. There was no music playing that he could here and Rox had said that he'd be in all day with Demyx while Cloud and Leon were out working, even though it's a Sunday.

Axel could feel his temper stirring as he rapped his knuckles more firmly against the solid wooden door, muttering under his breath "God dammit, Rox answer the god damn door!" He didn't hear the muffled footsteps on the other side of the door over the noise he was making until, suddenly, his knuckles connected with thin air.

Looking down to where he was expecting to see a mildly annoyed blond, instead he found a very cute sleepy Roxas instead, rubbing his eye with his fist as though he'd just woken up. Axel couldn't help the gentle smile that slipped across his lips at the sight of him – how could anyone stay angry at such an adorable sight. Though he'd never tell Roxas that, he'd beat the shit out of him or, at the very least, he'd try. Axel had long legs and he would make use of them if he had to.

"Morning, sleepy head. I thought you would have been up a while by now." Axel kept his voice deliberately quiet as Roxas was not a morning person and, from past experience, being loud just made it worse. Though, yes he was aware that it was middle of the afternoon already. They were students, it was their job to be lazy on the weekends.

The response Axel got was split over a very large yawn, "Mornin' ... Axel."

Axel leant against the doorframe, feeling the wood dig into his shoulder as he watched Roxas, cerulean eyes slowly focusing back on him once again. Sleepy blue eyes, slightly glazed from sleep, glanced up at him, a frown furrowed Roxas's brow at the smile that Axel could feel on his lips.

He reached out to lightly ruffle the already sleep rumpled blond locks, threading them through his long fingers, enjoying the texture under his hands. Roxas's hair was so soft, more like fur than hair, ticklish but nice.

Roxas batted at Axel's hands like a disgruntled kitten, inspiring the taller man to lean forward and plant a soft kiss against his furrowed brow, fingers trailing down from golden spikes to gentle caress his cheek. The confusion in Roxas's eyes seemed to war with the urge to close them, his eyelashes fluttered softly against pale cheeks at the sensations Axel was causing.

He was always more vulnerable in the morning – best time to take advantage. "You didn't sleep well again, did you?" Axel mumbled as he removed himself from Roxas's personal space.

An absent shake of the head was the only response to that question and a light blush across Roxas's cheeks from Axel's obvious show of affection. He looked up and over his blonds head, asking the next obvious question, "Where's Dem? Didn't you say he was here with you today? He didn't come to the door either."

A sudden waft of something rather nasty smelling had Axel pinching his nose closed and speaking in a muffled but nasally voice, due to his hands location, "What the hell is that smell?"

Roxas turned to look up at Axel, eyes suddenly growing wide as the smell hit him square in the nose causing him to sneeze. "Ewww... Axel that smells like something's burning. Where's it coming from?"

"Rox ... uhm ... Dem isn't cooking is he?"Axel watched Roxas's face shift from one expression to the next in rapid succession, horror had replaced his once sleepy expression before he spun around on his heel and head purposefully for the kitchen. Axel closed the front door in short order and followed him. What he discovered on following Roxas's path to the kitchen made the redhead want to laugh or possible cry. He wasn't quite sure which.

Demyx was cooking.

Roxas paused in the doorway, mouth hanging open as Demyx seemingly ignored the smoke that was billowing out of the slightly opened oven in favour of glaring rather intently at the book he was reading - it looked suspiciously like a cook book.

One hand covered Axel's nose as his other arm snaked out and around Roxas's waist to pull him back around the corner and out of the doorway before he started yelling at his brother. Lowering his mouth down to Roxas's ear as he flailed at Axel's firm grip around his waist, quickly whispering into his ear, "Just wait a minute; I want to see what he's doing."

Roxas stopped struggling and turned with a fierce scowl already in place, levelling chilly blue eyes on Axel's curious face. Axel spoke in a rush at the sight of his lover so irritated, "I want to know why he refused to obey Leon's orders about not going into the kitchen with intent unless he was present."

Leon had been more than a bit angry after the last time, having to refurbish the kitchen was expensive, having to do it twice didn't warrant thinking about. The normally placid man had been fuming silently and had forbidden both Demyx and Cloud from cooking, apparently he didn't want nor need what he had coined the "blonde invasion".

"You do remember the last time. You know, the "blond invasion" as Leon so kindly put it." Axel could feel a smirk trying to tug its way onto his lips at the suddenly indignant expression on Rox's face.

"I'll have you know I had nothing to do with it. It was Demyx the first time, and then Cloud the second. I can cook just fine."

"Yeah... with a microwave." Axel ducked quickly as a less than friendly punch was aimed at his nose. Apparently his little spitfire was now wide awake and raring to go.

Axel grabbed Roxas' wrists lightly with his hands and spun him around so his back was pulled snugly up against his chest in an attempt to A) stop his efforts at punching him, and B) so they could both turn and peer at the now flustered Demyx running haphazardly around the kitchen, after finally noticing both the stench and the dark cloud that was accumulating overhead.

Axel tried his best to cover the snorts of laughter that were trying so desperately to escape the hand he'd moved from his nose to clamp over his mouth. His body was shaking as he tried to suppress the sound that wanted to leak out, Demyx was just too funny and in this case it was either laugh or cry – because Leon would kill them all if he got wind of this. Axel could feel the trembles of laughter rippling through Rox's body and into his own stomach because he was so firmly pressed against him, even after his previous annoyance with Axel it seemed Roxas couldn't help but laugh at his brother's predicament.

The pair looked on as Demyx pulled the now incinerated blobs of something out of the oven and dropped the tray because it was too hot, scattering what wasn't stuck to the tray onto the floor. Then he frantically rushed around, looking like a headless chicken, opening all the windows while waving a dish towel around to try to dispel the smoke away from the fire alarm to avoid setting it off. He entirely forgot to turn off the source of the problem, even though the contents had been removed.

After about five minutes of uncontrollable giggles that were trying there damndest to escape, Demyx must have heard the muffled thumps as both Axel and Roxas slipped down to the floor in uncontrollable fits of laughter. He poked his head around the doorway, his wide ocean blue eyes glossy and close to tears.

That sobered Axel up pretty quick as he heard the quiver in Demyx's voice as he spoke to them; "Axel…how l- long have you two been s- sitting there?"

Wiping his eyes with his knuckles to remove the moisture and thus the blur from his vision, Axel turned his head up to look directly into Demyx eyes. He looked so upset over something so silly. This really must mean a lot to him.

"We haven't been here very long, Dem. Rox answered the door because you didn't and he'd been sleeping before that. We came in just as something smelt like it was burning."

A silent tear coursed down Demyx's cheek, his brow furrowed and a dejected look appeared across his usually bright smiling face. "Aww... Dem."

Axel tried to get up, only to find that Roxas had fallen into his lap after they'd landed on the floor from laughing so hard. Axel looked down at the bundle of sunny blonde in his lap, and could see the sadness that filled his lover's face as his brother turned and walked back into the smoky kitchen Axel looked between the two men he cared about most in the world, not sure what to do to help them.

Axel reached up and lightly ran his hand through Roxas's tousled sunny locks, garnering his attention away from Demyx's back for just a moment.

"Axel… what's wrong with Demy? He seems so sad and he's never like this – ever since he met that guy he's been acting oddly." Roxas turned those sky blue eyes up to look into Axel's emerald and the look of concern shone through even more. Axel sighed softly, a sad smile tilting his lip's as he watched the young man in his lap.

Axel gently wrapped his left arm more firmly around Roxas's waist, pulling him closer to him, gently running his right hand through sunny blond spikes to the nape of his neck were his finger's massaged gently at the tense muscles they found. He pulled Roxas closer to him so that he could feel Axel's warmth through his thin cotton pyjamas. It always seemed to soothe the smaller man on the rare occasions he was like this. Axel pressed his forehead against Roxas's lightly, staring into dark sapphire eyes filled with worry. Axel whispered quietly, "Rox – Dem is going through something right now, and I think he needs the time to sort it out. Do you remember when I started trying to court you?"

"Yes. But that..."

"No, Rox, that's no different, I went through what Dem is. I thought that we'd never be together; that you'd never want me because I was a guy. It was so hard, but I wanted it so much I went through an emotional roller coaster to get you. I tried so hard to hide it from you." Axel let his breath out in heavy sigh and looked down and away from Roxas's intense stare.

"I – remember. You hid it really well but, every now and then, when you didn't know I was watching, there was this far away expression that you'd get and the look in your eyes made me feel like crying. You looked so unbelievable lonely. I wanted to make that look go away: it made my heart hurt so much."

Axel could hear the pain that was reflected in Roxas's voice even though he wasn't looking at his face. He knew the expression that would be there, a deep frown, eye's lowered, teeth biting at his lip as his nerves came to the fore. And yet he was grateful for those words, so very grateful.

"Axel – I'm so sorry for making you wait, for making it hurt so much."

He could feel the fine tremors rippling across Roxas's skin, attesting to his nervousness and discomfort. Axel could feel something warm wrapping around his heart, as familiar arm's snaked around his waist to hold him back. It brought a tender smile to Axel's lips as he chanced a look back at the blond in his arms, noticing that Roxas's had cast his eyes downwards to glare at his lap, his cheeks coloured a delicate pink.

Axel gently drew his hand away from Roxas's neck, watching as the blond haired man flinched as his hand was removed from pale skin. Roxas's started to pull away from Axel but he moved quickly to prevent that from happening, his hand coming up between them so he could run his fingers along a smooth jaw line. It was unbearable soft, the skin pale and unmarked. Axel could let out a contented sigh that whispered through blond locks. Roxas's had frozen in the redhead's arms, going all tense even as his eyes fluttered at his attentions.

Axel gently stroked his fingertips up and down Roxas's skin, he let the other arm loosen its hold so he could mimic the motion on his back, attempting to soothe away the tension that had been created between them. Roxas's slowly went limp in Axel's arms, allowing him to pull him even closer placing a kiss to the hair covering his forehead. Axel pressed their foreheads together again, nudging gently at Roxas's nose with his own, trying to get his attention.

It took a few moments for Roxas's to focus. Axel watched as those cerulean orb's looked back at him, slightly dazed but intent. He let that soft smile, the one he kept just for his little lover, tilt his thin lips as he stared straight back into eyes he could willingly drown in. Axel let his eyes drift shut as he slowly leant forward to lightly brush their lips together. As he pulled back, he felt Roxas go completely limp against him, wrapping his arms firmly around Axel's neck rather than his waist and nuzzled into his throat.

Smiling, Axel slowly shifted their weight around and drew Roxas up against his toned body as he slowly picked them both up off the floor to follow Demyx into the kitchen. Axel may have looked tall and skinny but he was still pretty strong, whatever weight he had consisted of hard worked muscles. Leaning his mouth closer to the contented blond in his arms, Axel whispered in a somewhat conspiratorial way, "Mayhap we can help your brother a bit... hmm, Roxy?"

Roxas stiffened slightly at the nickname and Axel smirked against the column of Roxas's neck, placing a soft kiss there. Roxas's head came up to glare at the red head but he smiled lightly at the smile Axel gave him. Roxas knew that Axel was trying to cheer him up about Demyx.

The slight nod Roxas gave Axel was enough to know that. He wrapped his slender legs around Axel's waist as he stood and strode them both into the kitchen. To think it had only been a few minutes they'd let pass and they'd conferred so much. They were still adjusting to the relationship they were in and they both knew only too well that it would take time.

Axel watched Demyx as they entered the kitchen, his gaze wavered to the pair only briefly, returning to the same book they had seen him with earlier. Axel smiled at the sight of his friend nose deep in a book, it wasn't often you saw that particular sight, it was more likely that you'd find him with his Sitar or some music notes. Demyx's eyes widened slightly at the blond shaped burden Axel was carrying so effortlessly into the kitchen. "Rox are you alright?" Demyx's concern for his brother was one of his truly endearing qualities; he had a very big heart and Axel really worried that someone may bruise it.

The blond in question looked up from Axel's neck and gave his brother a very soft smile; he didn't give those very often, "I'm fine Demy – how about you tell us why you're in the kitchen when Leon specifically ordered you not to be." He was also sometimes far too blunt. The intertwined pair both watched as Demyx flinched at Leon's name.

"I was, uhm, well you see, I wanted to…."

"Dem, spit it out already. I have a sneaking suspicion that this.." he waved around at the mess in the kitchen, "... has something to do with a certain slate haired, stormy eyed neighbour of ours – well, yours." It seemed that Axel just couldn't help teasing Demyx about it, the blonds in thisof this family have a propensity for blushing and it was very amusing to watch, as I did when the blush shot up quite vividly against Demyx's pale skin.

"That's not, I… that's not any of your business!" Axel knew he'd struck a nerve as Demyx's resolve finally showed itself; his sudden outburst was very telling. He just wasn't good at keeping secrets.

"It's alright, Dem, we already know about that: you're just so obvious. What we wanted to know was why you're baking? We know it's something to do with him but we don't know why." Axel looked him straight in the eye, eyebrow raising in question, watching as his eyes flickered left and right, not wanting to look at him directly.

"So tell us, would you, please?" It was very rare for Roxas to say please either and by the look on Demyx's face, his eyes shooting up to focus on Roxas when those words left his lips, it was a bit of a shock for Demyx for Roxas to show so much obvious concern for him.

After a stumbling start Demyx finally confessed at least a small part of what he was doing, "Well, I wanted to, uhm, make some cookies for Ze – Zexion as an apology for you knocking him over the other day and, uhm, today was the only day that Cloud and Leon would be out. They'd just hang all over me otherwise and want to know what I was doing." There was a pointed look at them both after that statement.

"Yeah, sorry about that Dem; didn't mean to intrude or nothin' but you seem to need a bit of help." Axel rubbed his hand over the nape of his neck, a habit he'd been told he had when he was embarrassed or nervous about something, the other hand was still supporting a clinging Roxas.

Axel moved a bit further into the room and gentle rested Roxas's ass down on the centre island. Demyx was stood at the opposite end of it with his cookbook in front of him, surrounded by various pot's, pans, mixing bowls and baking sheets all with considerable signs of thought it best to deposit Roxas as far from that mess as possible, also discouraging any urge he might have to try and help. One blond cook from this family was more than enough.

Axel settled himself comfortably between Roxas's legs, his hip resting against the counter, as he stood sideways on. Roxas's arms shifted to wrap around Axel's waist instead of his neck and Axel raised an arm to loop around Roxas's shoulders, his long fingers idly playing with the silky golden strands of hair at the nape of his neck. Axel watched as Demyx shifted uncomfortably at his words.

Axel turned and pressed a soft kiss to Roxas's forehead, giving him a smile.

Roxas nodded once and disentangled himself from Axel to let him go to Demyx.

Striding over to his woebegone friend Axel slung an arm around his shoulders and gave his shoulders a gentle squeeze.

Demyx turned his face up to Axel's, ocean blue eyes looked up at him from a quietly pleading face, "Come on, I'll give you a hand."

That smile was well worth it, but they were doing this for another reason. Demyx needed this; they had finally come to see the loneliness their musician friend, and brother, was feeling. They had never realised that they had been making his plight worse and now he had a chance at what he was so desperately looking for, Axel just hope that it worked out for them both.

"So what are we baking anyways? Oh, how long have you been cooking?" Axel turned an enquiring look on his friend, who blushed again, mumbling under his breath so quietly he couldn't quite hear him. "What was that, Dem?"

Demyx blew out a frustrated breath, "I've been cooking for the past four hours. It just never seems to go right."

Axel exchanged a look with Roxas and rolled his eyes, getting a slight quirk of the lip from the lil' blond haired male in response.

Turning his gaze back over to his frustrated friend, "Well, let's clean up and start from scratch. How's that sound?"

Demyx looked from Axel to Roxas, a genuine smile spreading his lips in a grin, lighting up his ocean blue eyes.

Axel hadn't realized how long it had been since he'd seen that smile. The three young men exchanged smiles with each other, Demyx starting to laugh. It was rather infectious. They all found themselves laughing at the situation, how truly silly it all was.

It felt really good to laugh again.

"Okay, Rox, you stay there. I think one cooking catastrophe in this kitchen is quite enough , ne?" Axel turned his laughing eyes to Roxas and gave him a conspiratorial wink as his lips lifted in a cocky smirk.

Roxas scowled at Axel for a moment but returned the conspiratorial wink and a small smile. Axel turned back to Demyx, hands settling on his hips as he surveyed the mess his best friend had made of the kitchen, "We're gonna clear the decks and then start again."

Demyx turned to start cleaning up, a small smile gracing his lips.

Axel heard him whisper, "Thanks, guys."

Axel stalked across the kitchen to the lone set of draw's in the counter, pulling one open and starting to rummage for some kind of apron to wear over his clothes. Axel had an inkling that this was going be messy. He threw his words over his shoulder, "Don't thank me yet, Dem, I have a feeling this is gonna get messy."

Axel returned to his rummaging, seeking out and finding two more aprons, one fire red, which he promptly wrapped around his own lean frame, covering black skinny jeans and his black muscle shirt. The other apron he found was suspiciously frilly and pink.

A sneaky smile whispered across Axel's lips as he considered what he was going to do next. He spoke over his shoulder once more, tone carefully nonchalant so as not to rouse suspicion, "Hey, Rox, I've got something for you to wear." He turned to stare at Roxas, Axel could hear the laughter in his own voice as he threw said object over to Roxas watching him catch and looked horrified at the pink monstrosity he held in his hands.

All Axel could hear after that was a deep belly laught coming tumbling from Demyx's mouth and some stuttering, incomprehensible nonsense from Roxas. Axel turned around with his signature smirk on my face, hands planted on his hips once more.

"Axel, I'm gonna, …you're such an asshole, you jerk!" Axel strolled over to his now infuriated blond, ignoring Demyx for a few minutes as he approached Roxas with caution, he liked his balls thank you very much and he was just at the right height to lose them if Roxas chose to get violent.

Roxas threw said insulting item straight at Axel, a the scrap of bright cerise wouldn't cover much and it gave Axel some rather interesting ideas. When Roxas caught the look of interest and calculation in his eyes he flushed and yelled angrily, "Don't you come near me, you bastard!"

Axel expertly dodged the flailing kicks aimed at him, he watched as Roxas tried to manoeuvre himself to the edge so that he could get down. Axel grabbed both of Roxas flailing legs, splitting them so he could insinuate himself in between them. He released Roxas's legs and placed both hands on his hips pulling him closer so that he was flush up against Axel's body. The redhead watched as Roxas stuttered, his lips parting and no sound coming out even as his face flushed ten different shades of red.

There eyes locked as Axel gently and subtly rubbed there bodies together, reaching one hand up to tilt Roxas's face up top his own just as a quiet mewl escaped from Roxas's lips in reaction to Axel's rolling hips, the intimate position felt delicious to the lustful redhead but he couldn't do to much – they had an audience after all.

Axel brushed a thumb across Roxas's cheek, his lips coming to rest close to his lover's ear, breath whispering across the small shell as he spoke, "Shhh, I think you'd look damned sexy in just that, don't you?" Axel licked at the plush lobe of Roxas's ear, getting a very faint moan from his lover in response. "Maybe we can play, later." Axel delicately nipped the soft flesh between his teeth as he withdrew from Roxas's welcoming body.

Roxas slowly regained his composure as Axel's warmth left his vicinity, a scowl pulling at his features, "Bastard!" But Axel could see the slight tug at the corner of his lips as he gave Roxas a less than subtle wink. He turned back to find Demyx still laughing and clutching his sides as tears streamed down his cheeks. Axel swept down to retrieve the pink apron from the floor; he folded it and returned it to where he'd had found it. Axel wondered who wore the frilly thing - Cloud or Leon?

Axel chuckled out loud at the image of either man wearing it, before poking Demyx in the side to get his attention. "Come on you - lots of work to do, if you want Zexion to have these today. I presume that was your intent?"

The laughing stopped abruptly as Demyx flushed and nodded, wiping his eyes, before returning to clearing everything up so they could start again.

The afternoon went by quickly.

They managed to make two batches of double chocolate chip cookies on Demyx's behalf for Zexion, who was his new fascination. Axel just hoped Zexion liked chocolate chip cookies; he didn't remember ever having seen him eat them before, but Zexion had never been one for frivolous foods.

And, although Axel saw Cloud and Leon return home, the older men merely stood, watching us from the doorway. He saw Cloud wrap his fingers around Leon's arm, slowly rubbing his fingertips in gentle circles just as Leon had gone to step into the room. Axel watched from the corner of his eye as Cloud leant up the few extra inches to Leon's ear, Leon turning to look down at him as he whispered something to the stoic brunet. Leon nodded subtly and, if I'm not mistaken, his lips twitched with what could have been a smile.

Leon turned back to face us in the kitchen and saw Axel watching them. He nodded and Axel returned the gesture as subtly as possible so that the others wouldn't notice.

Then Cloud locked gazes with him too and, again, Axel saw the smallest twitch of the lips that he often found showed more in Clouds eyes than a physical expression, it was a family trait. They were happy, he thought.

Axel watched as the pair retreated into the body of the house, only to appear later when dinner needed to be prepared. Axel thought, although they didn't show it, they had been concerned about Demyx.

Demyx apologized to Leon for using the kitchen without permission but showed both Leon and Cloud what they had all made together, it was clear that he was leased with what they had accomplished together, it garnered him another lip twitch from Cloud and a gentle ruffle of Demyx's hair from Leon.

It seemed to be a trait of this family, a simple and understated show of affection.

Demyx was beaming, pleased with himself and happy that Leon wasn't angry. Demyx is pretty simple, really. He likes pleasing others and accomplishing things, even if they are simple. It brought a smile to Axel's lips as Demyx went out the door after dinner to go and give his cookies to a certain slate heard individual. His friend was nervous but determined and Axel was proud of him.

Axel had squeezed Demyx's shoulder, a silent show of affection and support before he left, and Roxas had given his brother a very rare, and rather awkward, hug before coming to rest against Axel's side.

Axel draped his arm around Roxas's shoulders, pulling him closer to him. Demyx gave us a tremulous smile, looking like a brave soldier going off to battle, before he walked out the door.

"Hey, Axel?"

Axel looked down at his lil' blond after his quiet enquiry.

"Hmm… what is it, Rox?" Axel gently wrapped his fingers around Roxas's shoulder, watching as Roxas's hand came up to rest over his and squeezed gently.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Axel smiled.

Roxas loves his family very much, even if he isn't always good at showing it. And Axel was happy for that, Demyx had lived miles away from these people for so long he had been worried that they wouldn't build those lasting bonds but he had been mistaken and glad of it.

Axel squeezed Roxas's shoulder gently, pressing the smaller blond against his side,"He'll be fine. You know Demy. Who wouldn't be won over by him? Zexion's not a bad guy and I think, maybe this will help them both. They're both lonely and, although Dem realises it, I don't know if Zexion has yet. Give them a lil' time and I'm sure it will work out in the end. That answer your question?" Axel gently ruffled soft golden blond tufts with his free hand.

"Yeah. Will you stay till he gets back?"

Axel could feel Roxas tremble slightly under his arm and he pulled his lover around to face him, wrapping his other arm around him, enclosing him in his bodies warmth.

"I'll stay as long as you need. I was planning on it, anyways." Pulling away slightly Axel curled his much larger hand around Roxas's small one, feeling his lover stretch his fingers out to lace through his own.

Axel tugged Roxas along into the living room and plopped down on the couch. Resting Roxas up against his taller frame, "How about we watch that movie we were supposed to watch last time? You know; the one you fell asleep in the opening credits of."

Axel knew he was deliberately provoking Roxas, trying to get him riled up so that he would forget about everything else. Roxas was such a passionate person if you could rub him the right way, and Axel? Well he always knew just the right way to do it, and loved every second.

It worked, a fist bounced quite solidly off Axel's ribs, but not hard enough to bruise.

"Did not, you stupid ass."

Axel could hear the smile in Roxas's voice. Roxas always knew what the redhead was up to and let him know it to.

But, Axel thought, Roxas appreciated it, because instead of storming off to his room to get away from the fiery red head, as he usually did when he'd really pissed him off.

Roxas got up, grabbed a DVD and stuffed it in the player before returning to the couch and nudging himself under Axel's arm, resting against his chest as he clicked the TV on with the remote. Roxas flicked at Axel when he went to say something else; "Just shut up and watch the movie, idiot."

Axel relaxed into the couch, the cushions were deep and moulded to your body as you sank into them, his warm bundle of blond curled up next to him and he hoped that Demyx would come back at least a lil' happier than the nervous wreck he'd been when he'd left.

Fingers crossed.

The pair waited for his return and fell asleep about twenty minutes later.

So much for watching the movie.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Demyx had been standing there on the roadside for a while now, just staring at the dark green front door of the house across the street, trying to will his knees to stop trembling and the butterflies in his stomach to go away. Demyx had made his way, nervous but confident, out of his front door and just sort of stopped when he'd caught sight of Zexion's house, confidence vanishing in an instant.

Heck, he didn't even know if Zexiom lived with anyone and if somebody else was going to answer the front door. "Aww, shit." The words just seemed to slip out under Demyx's breath. He'd already tried to cross the road once and almost got run over for his efforts. Demyx had been to busy thinking of what the hell he was supposed to say to the guy when he answered his door.

_Zexion._

Such an unusual name and Demyx never did get a last name out of Axel. "Stupid flamer – leaving me completely unprepared," He said with very little heat because, between you and me, he knew he was stalling.

Zexion had probably seen him standing there like an idiot for the last twenty minutes while Demyx had tried to pluck up the courage to cross the road - how stupid was that?

Demyx really didn't think he could do this.

But, he knew that Axel and Roxas would be disappointed if he came back now, tail between his legs because he couldn't muster up the courage to even try. He knew Axel's face would be downcast and sad for him, especially after all the work they'd put in that afternoon.

Thinking about Roxas and Axel, and the way they had been trying to encourage him and - _kami forbid_ - actually being supportive, rather than mocking in that teasing way they shared.

It made Demyx feel all happy inside and brought a soft smile to his lips.

"Alright! I can do this - or at least, I can try." The determination in his voice wasn't reflected by his body, evidenced by the dramatic increase in that fluttery feeling in his stomach. He tried not to think about that focusing on other thing's, like Roxas giving him an awkward but much needed hug - which Roxas never does. So, Demyx at least had to try - and a good place to start would be getting across this road and up to that forbidding front door.

Turning his gaze left and right, searching for any oncoming vehicles, clutching the plate of cookies, wrapped in cling film tight in his hands, Demyx slowly stumbled across the road. He desperately tried to keep his balance, legs feeling like jelly as he took each step forward.

_Way to go, Demyx! You managed to cross the road by yourself – how old are you again? _

Ignoring the sarcastic comments he was making in his head, which sounded suspiciously like Axel, Demyx walked slowly towards the door that had dominated his thoughts for the past half an hour.

Demyx took the two steps leading up to the wrap-around porch a little unsteadily, not releasing his hold on the plate in his hand to hold onto one of the posts bracketing the raised step's. Before him now was, what had once felt like an ominous door at a distance, but was in fact rather ordinary looking up close – dark green stained wood, with a small letterbox in shiny brass and a small peephole in the centre. His mind had been playing tricks on him again, making it feel so much more imposing than it actually was.

Glancing around the doorframe for the bell, Demyx found it located on the right hand side of the door in the wooden siding of the wall. He reluctantly released his hold on the plate, which was now held precariously in one hand, as he watched his finger uncurl, tremble, and extended outwards, in what seemed like slow motion to his eyes, to press decisively down on the doorbell. He could hear the distant chime inside and felt those familiar butterflies inside him.

As he withdrew his hand, Demyx realized that it was the same hand that he had touched Zexion with the other day. He turned his hand over to examine it, remembering the ghost of a touch sliding across his palm, the scratch of fabric; it made his body to shiver in remembrance.

Demyx had never had such strong reaction to memories before, this one rippling across his skin as though he were touching Zexion's shoulder all over again. His hand clenched in response and he watched it with interest. "Hmm… weird" The words were quietly whispered to himself absently; he hoped no one had heard him quietly rambling to himself. Demyx hadn't even touched Zexion's skin and it had sent his nerves jangling with unexpected heat and a sudden urge to touch the slate haired man again.

He could feel tendrils of warmth slipping across his cheeks in a faint blush, Demyx had known right then that something unusual was occurring, but he still couldn't put his finger on what it was about him- _Zexion - _that stirred such reactions from him. He wondered idly as he waited if Axel felt this way when he touched Roxas. _Ahh… bad thoughts, I really don't need or want to know that he thought desperately._

Demyx unfurled his hand once again and placed it back where it had started; wrapped securely around the plate he really didn't want to drop. He returned his gaze expectantly to the door. Demyx refused to risk dropping his precious cargo after all the trouble everyone had gone to too help him make them for Zexion. Today had been a lot of fun, in the end, and it had made him feel a lot better – he'd never admit it out loud but he'd been feeling really low lately.

Demyx waited quietly, what he thought was patiently, arms tucked in as close to his body as the plate would allow, trying to hold in the butterflies that where churning his stomach. It felt like a tornado was whipping around inside him. He began to tap his foot in a nervous rhythm against the varnished floorboards as he waited for Zexion to answer the doorbell.

00-00-00

Zexion could hear a high-pitched trilling sound that was slowly penetrating the darkness that had surrounded him moments ago. Such an annoying sound, what the hell was it? Opening one heavy eyelid, all he could see was a blur of white and black - what the…? Opening the other eye, it took him a few moments to focus and see that his cheek was pressed against the tabletop, the white and black blur? The stacks of notes for his coursework. Which he had been working on before, apparently, falling asleep.

He must have been more exhausted than he'd thought. Zexion looked around slowly, eyes trying to focus as he though muzzily over what woke him up. Slowly lifting and placing both hands down on the low table he pushed himself upright, looking around for the clock that was up on the wall.

It was only a little after eight in the evening; he couldn't have been asleep too long.

Abruptly, a loud piercing trill sounded from the front of the house. "What the hell is that?" Zexion's voice came out slightly rougher than normal, most likely caused by the impromptu nap he had taken, as the sound came again. His mind whirred back to life and he realized that what he had been hearing was, in fact, the disused doorbell.

"Who would be at the door? Nobody knows I live here." He mumbled quietly, slowly running his fingers through sleep tangled bangs to neaten them. Zexion went to stand up from the low table and almost fell over, his legs stiff and now coursing with pins and needles as the blood flow tried to return after being stuck in the same position for to long. It had been at least two hours ago that he remembered looking at the clock.

Grimacing and biting on his lip quite fiercely, Zexion scowled down at the offending limbs, as he slowly used his hands to shift the numb appendages, rubbing them carefully as he winced at the pain zinging through his limbs. He stretched them out in front of him to let the blood flow more easily. He lightly alternated between rubbing and bouncing each leg to encourage further blood flow, and hopefully, return some feeling to them that wasn't pins and needles.

The doorbell sounded again, and he grumbled under his breath, "I'm coming, alright, people are so impatient. It's not like it could be anything important." Wriggling his toes experimentally, to avoid further mishaps, then shifting round and slowly getting to his feet. Zexion braced himself against the sofa at his back, trying to avoid any possible falls due to the previous numbness. He stiffly walked from the living room down the corridor to the front door, feeling the little pricks of pain decrease as he went, slowly limbering up his leg muscles.

Ignoring the peephole entirely, Zexion grabbed onto the door handle with one hand and twisted the latch with the other, swinging the door open, only to find the one guy he couldn't seem to keep his emotions straight around, standing at the door looking slightly disgruntled, tapping his foot impatiently on his porch.

"Well that took a while, are you all right?"

He gave him a very curious look, taking Zexion in from head to toe and he willed his body not to shiver under such close scrutiny. Maybe Zexion had been mistaken in his assumption about being impatient; he looked more concerned than anything else. He shook out his bangs, giving himself some sort of cover to hide behind and looked down at his now rumpled clothes, the old, worn grey sweatshirt and faded jeans doing nothing towards a good impression.

Zexion missed the look Demyx sent him as his hair shifted across his pale cheek.

"I'm sorry; did I come at a bad time? I didn't mean to interrupt you. I just wanted to give you these." The sudden burst of speech surprised Zexion, followed by the other man, Dem, thrusting said a plate filled with - cookies?

"I… what are…uhm…" Zexion tried to clear his throat as his voice still sounded slightly croaky. His mind was still slightly fuzzy around the edges, causing the lack of vocal coordination he was suddenly experiencing. "W… why are you giving them to me?" Zexion struggled to inquire.

It was a bit of a shock; he hadn't known what to say at first. Dem was speaking so rapidly Zexion was struggling to keep up, but also, he couldn't resist that voice. Even when in a rush it was smooth like velvet and it felt like his skin was tingling all over from just listening to him. He couldn't take this - he really couldn't.

It had to stop.

"Well… uhm… they're an apology I guess, for the other day." Zexion felt his eyebrows draw down into a frown. _Why would he be bringing these to apologize to me?_ Zexion thought curiously, it hadn't been his fault. It was that bratty brother of his.

Zexion met him, Dem, just the other day. That was all his brain seemed to want to focus on. In the end, it had all been rather confusing and, to be honest, the only thing about it Zexion wanted to remember was him. _No stupid brain - SHUT UP_!

His face must have shown his inner turmoil as - again- he found a warm hand braced against clothed shoulder. Zexion could feel the goose pimples rushing out from that location, just as he had the last time. The hand on his shoulder squeezed lightly, bringing his attention back up to that warm looking face and those beautiful sapphire eyes.

"Hey, you okay? You don't look so well."

Zexion could see the concern in his face and he didn't want it there. Much as he hated to admit it, Zexion liked that Dem seemed to care. But that expression didn't belong on such a beautiful face. _Damn it, what is it about this guy that he just couldn't seem to stop being so stupid when he was around him?_ Zexion fumed at himself silently, he felt like an idiot – like one of those stupid, fumbling teenagers he finally outgrown.

He needed to get away from Dem as soon as possible. Zexion didn't like being around people much, his few friends could attest to that, and this guy just couldn't seem to stop touching him, reaching out to him. Not to mention the fact that Zexion seemed to lose complete control of himself whenever he was around him. Zexion shrugged his shoulders purposefully to dislodge that gentle hand, attempting to rein in the emotions that had been rioting inside his head.

He'd been doing this for years; he would not let one person undo it all.

"I'm fine - what can I help you with exactly?" Zexion could hear the coolness that he was so proud of slip back into his voice, as he shoved all the emotions that he was feeling back down into the pit of his stomach, where they constantly seemed to be stirring of late.

Dem gave him a stumbling reply to Zexion's blunt question, "Well… we… I mean… I wanted to make you something… you know, as an apology for… my brother. He isn't too good with people, and uhm… he can be rude sometimes, but he really is a good person. So, ahh … anyways these are for you."

Dem had been rubbing the back of his neck and glancing at Zexion every so often. Zexion could only assume that this was a nervous gesture. He hadn't behaved like this the other day; he had been bright, cheerful and confident, and Zexion wondered what had caused the sudden change.

_No, don't think about it, it'll only cause problems_.

"What kind are they?" Zexion have to admit he was a bit of a sucker for cookies, but he couldn't really afford such frivolous foods on what little money he had. So they made him more than a little curious about what kind they were. He was intrigued and the image of sitting at a table, a cup of tea in one hand and a half eaten cookie in the other had him feeling rather hungry. He was just glad his stomach didn't growl, he hadn't eaten dinner yet after all.

"Well, they're chocolate chip. Though Axel said he didn't even know if you liked cookies 'cause he'd never seen you eat them. Do you like them – cookies, I mean?" He looked alternately perplexed and hopeful; and Zexion couldn't seem to resist the tiny smile that tugged his lip but didn't bloom into the full thing. This guy was so forthright and sincere, expressing all his emotions so openly, if not with his expressions, then in his actions and those stunning eyes.

"I do like cookies. A lot of people do, you know." _So, Axel knows this guy, Dem, but what is he to Axel, who is he?_ Zexion couldn't help but mull the thought over, that scientific side of him looking for answers. "How do you know Axel?" This gorgeous person piqued Zexion's curiosity and he wanted to know how the puzzle fit together. _Who was he?_ He couldn't help wanting to know more about him, it was one of few deviations Zexion had been taken on of late, ever since that day.

He just couldn't seem to help himself.

"Me an' Axel have known each other for years, we went to school together before coming here to go to HBU. Ahh… shit, sorry, I'm being really rude."

Zexion was shocked by the sudden statement but didn't show it as the blond haired man stuck out his right hand whilst holding the cookies in the other, declaring quite proudly, "I'm Demyx Strife - pleased to meet cha'! We didn't get a proper introduction before, and I don't know your last name, Axel didn't mention it."

Demyx looked at Zexion expectantly, assuming that he would take the proffered appendage.

Zexion looked down at his hand and then backup at his face and then back down again. He couldn't do this; he could feel the panic welling up in his chest, that familiar constriction he hadn't felt in months. His breath started to rasp out from his lips, the struggle for air intensifying as a panic attack tried to set in.

He had to calm down.

Zexion couldn't let Demyx touch him, he just couldn't.

Zexion unconsciously tucked both his hands under his arms for security and comfort, trying to will his nerves to calm down as they roiled around in the pit of his stomach. He suddenly felt nauseous and he couldn't bear for this person to see him like that.

Zexion didn't want to lose control again – not in front of him.

He looked up, and although Demyx seemed disappointed, he bobbed his head slightly in ascension and withdrew his hand, wrapping it visibly around the plate. Demyx's voice was quieter when he spoke again, subdued, and Zexion don't think he had ever felt guiltier for that.

"What's your name?" Demyx's eyes looked shadowed and as dark as night at that moment.

Zexion's chest tightened as that gaze strayed away from him, looking sadly at the wooden boards of the porch.

Zexion thought he would have given up after he had been so blatantly rude, but, although Demyx was quieter and infinitely more sombre than before, he could see the cogs in his head turning as his brow furrowed in concentration. Zexion liked that look, concentrated, focused, and thoughtful, it brought a whole new dimension to that smiling face. It was clear that Demyx was turning over the problem, puzzling over it and he hadn't left yet.

Zexion stuttered his response, just like he did the last time, 'Ze - Zexion, Zexion Nocturne… I… I am sorry about that." He was being purposefully obtuse; avoiding being specific about what he was apologising for and hoping Demyx would understand what he was trying to say. The fact that Zexion was apologizing for anything did not escape his notice – but Demyx deserved that, Zexion wanted to do this for him.

Zexion turned his stormy gaze away, looking to the floor when he said those words, his hair falling across his cheek and concealing his face from view. He was embarrassed at his admission, but Zexion couldn't have let it go, it felt wrong to do so; he hadn't wanted Demyx to look like that, melancholy and sad. Zexion felt a light tap against his shoulder again and glanced up to find a tanned hand with long pianists finger's withdrawing from the touch, a small smile adorning perfect, soft looking lips – it made Zexion's heart skip a beat.

They stood there watching eachother for a few more minutes, and something stirred in the back of Zexion's mind, something Axel had told him about his friend who couldn't … _what was it?_ Zexion usually had a perfect memory, why was this particular one being so elusive? He heard Demyx mumbling something as he stared fixedly at his stripped shirt, "I mean …cookies…"

Realization hit, he remembered, "Ah ha … that's it … the blond invasion!" He hadn't meant to say it out loud, but it had escaped his lips on what bordered on a happy exhale of breath. Zexion watched in quiet fascination as Demyx's eyes widened visibly and he then proceeded to flush ten different shades of red, glaring down at the floor as his foot started tapping of its own accord, eliciting a steady rhythm against the wooden boards.

So that's a nervous gesture, not impatience like Zexion had originally thought. _Interesting_.

He could hear him whispering quite forcibly and watched those delicate lips moving fervently, but Zexion couldn't make out the words, so he asked him, "Demyx?" Bright cerulean orbs looked up at him, locking with his own stormy grey. Zexion felt a quiver deep down in his belly at the rapt attention, and although Demyx's cheeks were shining crimson, he looked so pleased when he'd said his name that it took Zexion's breath away.

_Kami, I really am in trouble, aren't I?_

"Well, it wasn't my f… fault, alright! I'm not a great cook. S…so what! I can do other t…things. Plus L-Leon's the cook in the house, and Cloud's way worse than me!"

Zexion puzzled over those words, quirking an eyebrow at the stutter that had entered Demyx's usually smooth voice, and linked the words up with the memory of what Axel had said in passing a while ago.

Axel had mentioned something about a good friend of his having burnt down the kitchen when trying to cook dinner – now this may have been an exaggeration, but by the way Demyx was behaving it wasn't too far from the truth. Apparently, according to Axel, his elder brother did the exact same thing a few weeks later, resulting in them both being banned from the kitchen.

Zexion could feel a slight twitch of his lip, which he supposed you might associate with a smile.

"So, who exactly cooked these cookies, and is your kitchen still in one piece?" Zexion couldn't really believe what he had just said. Was he trying to tease him? _I am, aren't_ _I_? It was surprising how good it felt as he watched Demyx stutter and stumble, looking at him with mouth agape, trying to come up with some kind of retort.

In the end Demyx shook his head and looked away from Zexion, he may be mistaken but Zexion was almost certain he could see the sheen of tears over those beautiful azure eyes and he realized that he'd gone too far without meaning to. It was clear that Demyx was a sensitive person, and Zexion had put his big foot in it.

"I t-tried really hard all morning okay, I'm just not made for c-cooking apparently, so Axel helped me o-out and Roxas, too."

Zexion could feel Demyx's upset settle around him like a blanket. He hadn't meant to cause Demyx any distress, he had never been any good with people, and this just proved it. Zexion wasn't sure what to say, so he went with his instinct, rusty though it was. He reached out and grabbed the sides of the plate, aiming where he wouldn't touch skin to skin, gently tugging on the dish so Demyx would look at him again.

And, surprisingly, he did, focusing on Zexion's slender fingers wrapped around the sides of the plate and tentatively looking up at him. "What? You said they were for me, right? You can't keep them for yourself now." Zexion could see that blanket shifting and falling away, a small twinkle sparkled in Demyx's eyes as he relinquished the plate into Zexion's hands.

"That, and the chocolate will melt if we keep them in this heat too much longer."

Demyx's smile returned full force at Zexion's flippant comment and it made him surprisingly happy, the flutter in his stomach a little disturbing, but much more welcome than the twisting nausea that had followed the potential panic attack.

_When was the last time I felt like this?_

It had been so long Zexion couldn't really remember. Shrugging at those thoughts he decided that the cookies needed to go in the fridge, otherwise he wouldn't get to enjoy Demyx's baking as much as he should. But Zexion wasn't really sure how to say goodbye. So he did what he thought was a good idea. "I need to put these in the fridge, so if you will excuse me?"

"You're excused."

That smile still lingered on Demyx's face as Zexion turned to grab the door with one hand as he held the plate in the other. The blond haired man looked really happy, though the comment could have been easily misinterpreted.

Demyx hadn't turned to leave yet and Zexion turned to face him again, raising an eyebrow at him in question. He must have understood the motion as Demyx ended up stuttering again, casting his gaze to the ground, "I… will you… I mean… would you sit and talk with me for a while longer? Please."

He was rubbing at his neck again, and his empty hands were drumming a constant rhythm against his thigh with his fingers.

Zexion could see that Demyx was nervous, and he couldn't blame him. To be honest, he was pretty nervous himself.

Demyx turned pleading eyes Zexion after a few minutes had passed in awkward silence and Zexion just couldn't seem to build up any retort. He didn't know if he ever would. The words just seemed to slip out so naturally, without his permission, "Alright, I'll make some tea and we can sit on the porch as it's so hot out still, I can't be long, though. I have a lot of work to do still."

A sunny smile washed over Demyx's features as he nodded enthusiastically, blond locks bouncing across his shoulders to fall down his back, to Zexion's response, "Sounds good to me, oh uhm… one thing."

Zexion noticed that Demyx was eyeing his cheek speculatively, just like earlier on, having glanced back over his shoulder as he'd turned to put the cookies away.

"What is it?"

Demyx was looking at his right cheek, but why so intently?

"Did you fall asleep on a newspaper?" It would seem Zexion had developed a new habit, as he raised his eyebrow again.

"I don't know. Why do you ask?"

_What was he going on about?_ It was becoming decidedly irritating. How was it he could conjure up so many emotions inside Zexion at once when he'd kept them in check for so long? He felt confusion and irritation lacing his word's when he spoke.

Demyx brought a thumb up to his lips, stroking his tongue across it, making Zexion swallow down a sudden wave of heat that rushed through his body as his eyes tracked the movement. The blond haired man then reached out with it, brushing slate grey hair out the way, thumb headed for Zexion's cheek, about to brush his skin. Zexion flinched backwards, eyes closing involuntarily, sudden panic chasing the heat from his system so fast it made Zexion dizzy.

He wavered on his feet, still holding the cookies in both hands.

Instead of the pressure against his cheek that Zexion had been expecting, he felt a sudden weight pressed against both his arms, causing him to blink open his eyes again. Demyx had tried to steady Zexion on his feet. Zexion felt the colour drain from his face as Demyx attempted to touch his skin.

Zexion forcibly stopped himself from listing to the side as Demyx held onto his arms. He eyed Zexion curiously, but the nerves wouldn't let him go until Demyx released him. So, Zexion attempted to straighten up as best as possible. Demyx seemed very reluctant to let him go, but did after a few more minutes as Zexion's stomach continued to churn viciously.

Zexion turned again to head into the house, nerves settling back down as he increased the distance between them. He didn't stop when he heard Demyx's voice carry down the hallway he had fled into, "The print from the newspapers came off on your left cheek. I thought you should know."

Demyx's voice sounded concerned, but just underneath was a hollowness that hadn't been there before. It reminded Zexion of how he used to sound all those years ago. Now his voice was laced with indifference, but sometimes, like a few minutes ago, he sounded like he could feel again.

Zexion turned to glance back over his shoulder and watched as Demyx appeared to collapse in on himself; he looked far frailer than Zexion believed him to be.

"Demyx?"

Demyx glanced up at Zexion's call, the small smile he gave him was so false it made Zexion's heart cramp painfully in his chest. "I'm sorry, okay? Thanks for the cookies."

Zexion was expecting him to leave, just like all the others had done, so when he returned from the kitchen five minutes later with both teas in hand, he was shocked to find Demyx still there, sitting on the steps of his porch.

Maybe he was different.

_Demyx_, he had seemed so bright and happy but Zexion reconsidered that idea, maybe, just maybe, he may actually be little bit like him. Zexion had no family left and very few friends; he thought that he'd like Demyx to be one of them. Zexion knew deep down that he was lonely and he hurt inside, but Zexion would never admit it or allow himself to dwell on it.

What's passed has passed for him, now he just had to soldier onwards. Maybe, one day, he would get past it.

But not today, or even tomorrow.

In the two meetings they'd had, Demyx had stirred so many emotions inside Zexion that he'd believed were long buried, he didn't know whether that was a good thing or not. He had been living day-to-day since that one moment in his past that he refused to think about, he never thought too far back or too far forward – there only laid disappointment.

But Demyx made him think about odd things. Things he had thought he'd had left behind.

Zexion thought that he would eventually come down to a choice. Whether he had the courage to take what was offered with both hands and pull it to him, or if he would continue, as he had done, walking down an empty road, existing, but not truly living.

Demyx watched Zexion walk away down the corridor to what he assumed was the kitchen at the back of the house, and then slumped down onto the porch steps to wait for him to return, his back pressed up against one of the rough wooden posts framing the doorway.

He looked down at the steps but didn't really see them, he wondered if Zexion planned on coming back at all. _He_ _did leave the door open_ – _I hope that means he's coming back. _Demyx really wanted talk to with him some more.

The conversation had been a little stunted at first but it felt good talking to him.

Heck, he'd even tried to tease him once, even though that was a bit of a sensitive topic. But, Demyx guessed that Zexion really didn't know any better, and he decided that Zexion was a little awkward, which is he found rather cute. He was really glad that Zexion liked cookies too or he thought that he'd meant that he liked cookies – _maybe he was just being nice?_

Demyx knew he was trying to avoid the issue that was really bothering him and he guessed that he really should face up to it or it would just sit there and niggle at him all night.

_He flinched away from my touch._

Why would he do that? Was he so repulsed by De,myx's touch that he didn't want his hands on him? But he didn't seem as bad when he'd grabbed Zexion's shoulders to steady him. _So what is it that I did wrong exactly?_

Demyx felt his brow furrowing into a frown, it felt odd there though. Zexion had looked so frightened, smoky eyes wide like saucers and his skin had gone a deathly shade of white. First, when he'd tried to shake Zexion's hand, he'd stared fixedly at it like Demyx was offering him a snake instead of a hand shake, and then a second time. He'd recoiled so fast he'd made himself unsteady on his feet when Demyx had tried to wipe the newspaper print off of his cheek. Demyx didn't think he'd ever been looked at like that before. He tried his best to suppress the cold shudder that he felt under his skin but it rippled through him unheeded.

Demyx's heart was contracting in pain at that memory of that look. He'd never witnessed such abject fear in a person, just before Zexion had shuttered away those unique eyes. He couldn't remember anyone's ever being frightened of him before.

Demyx heard the quiet whimper that left his lips at the thought, and he huddled into himself further to warm his suddenly chilled body. He wrapped his arms around his now upraised knees, clutching them to his body in an attempt at comfort. Demyx didn't want Zexion to be frightened, especially not of him. He wanted to take that look away from Zexion's eyes.

He didn't really know what this feeling inside him, but it was consuming, tumultuous and compulsive. Demyx wanted to help Zexion.

He wondered silently if it was really him or if it was people as a whole. Maybe, he has a phobia. "Why didn't I talk to Axel about him before I left?" Demyx could hear the questions in his own hushed voice and he desperately wanted answers, but he wouldn't face Zexion again just to bombard him with very private questions.

If there was something wrong with Zexion, he didn't think he knew him well enough yet to tell him about them. Maybe Axel would give him some ideas; Demyx didn't want to make whatever it was worse.

"Alright, I'm not leaving and I'm gonna do my best." Demyx could feel something deep down in his heart squeeze lightly as though pleased with his decision. The fact that he could feel his heart so much was a sure sign that Demyx was doing something right. Demyx had felt like there was been an emptiness inside him for so long that he was wondering if je still had a heart.

He turned at the slight scuff of socked feet against the floorboards. His frown transformed into a small smile at the reappearance of the mysterious slate haired man_. Zexion_. He looked momentarily confused at the sight of him sitting on his porch. Demyx would take a guess that he had been expecting him to leave. _Not likely, my friend. I'm not going anywhere fast. I promise._

Demyx could see the puzzlement disappear from Zexion's eyes. What looked suspiciously like gratitude and a flicker of a smile emerged in those beautiful charcoal depths. It reminded Demyx of the rare smiles that Cloud and Leon gave, the ones that showed the most in their eyes. _Ahh… he's one of those guys. _Demyx thought happily, content to have discovered a small piece of the Zexion puzzle. It was clear that Zexion was the type of guy whose emotions showed the most in his eyes, not necessarily on his face. _Not that I wouldn't mind getting him to smile for me. _

Demyx couldn't wait to see what else there was to know about this gorgeous creature in front of him. He let his eyes trail over Zexion, taking in the well worn grey sweatshirt, slightly misshapen but comfortable looking, threadbare jeans and bare feet. He looked comfortable, at home – nice.

The pair sat in an awkward silence for a time before Demyx decided that a game of twenty questions would help to break the ice that had formed between them. It turned pretty well in the end.

Demyx found out that Zexion actually attended the same university that he and Axel, he was even in he and Axel's year, studying literature. Zexion works six days a week at both the University library and the public library in town, and spends whatever time he's not working or doing the work from class on reading even more books.

Now, Demyx wasn't that much of a bookworm but that's even he thought that was a lot of books. Demyx laughed warmly, watching how Zexion's eyes seemed to light up when he didn't even realize it, getting excited about discussing books. It gave Demyx a wonderful sense of warmth that radiated through his body, centring and settling, so it seemed, into his belly, in place of those darned butterflies.

Zexion seemed far more hesitant with his questions to Demyx than he had been with him. It was as though he wasn't supposed to be prying or that he was uncertain what was safe to ask. Demyx told Zexion succinctly that he could ask him anything, after the first five attempts he'd made at starting the game failed.

Demyx told him all about what he was doing at University. That he studied music and that, embarrassingly, he didn't read or study half as much as he probably should.

He explained a bit about Cloud and Roxas and what they did for work and studies. Demyx deliberately avoided the fact that they were his stepbrothers. People seemed to react oddly when he told them that.

To Demyx they were family - that's it.

He couldn't believe how long they sat there talking, tea forgotten, as they sat on the porch steps, his rather enthusiastic hands free to gesticulate wildly as he was want to do. Before they knew it, it was past eleven, darkness had rolled in and the 'short while' had turned into a three-hour talk.

Zexion had appeared rather anxious to get back to his studies, as he had originally said he had a lot of work to do. Demyx left somewhat grudgingly, promising to bring Zexion some CD's tomorrow as he didn't seem to have any music to listen to. Demyx even asked if maybe he could lend him a good book, if he had one.

He got an almost smile for that one.

Demyx watched as Zexion closed the door, returning inside to do some work and hoping he didn't notice that he did a small dance as he descended the porch steps. Demyx could feel his whole body tingling with excitement at this new prospect of friendship.

There had been no more near misses and he had seemed genuinely intrigued about his music. So maybe, just maybe, they could start something new here. Demyx liked him – but they'd have to see.

It was always good to make new friends and he thought that Zexion would be a good one. Now he just had to figure out this odd feeling that kept tugging inside his chest whenever he thought about the quiet man, and what it was that turned him from Demyx's touch.

Demyx was the more affectionate of his brothers, after all. He didn't want to annoy Zexion with his own need to touch.

He arrived home to find Roxas curled up on top of Axel, fast asleep on the couch in front of the TV, screen blank but still on. It looked like they'd missed the movie again. It brought a soft smile to Demyx's lips.

He reached over the back of the sofa and pulled down the throw that always sat there just for this sort of occasion. Settling it around them both to make sure they didn't catch a chill. Hey, it may still be hot but it's not impossible you know!

Axel cracked an emerald eye open peering up at Demyx from under a droopy eyelid and just quietly mumbled, "Thanks Dem." Before cracking a yawn, and pulling Roxas more firmly into his embrace and falling right back to sleep again.

He'd have one hell of a crick in his neck by morning but Demyx knew that Axel wouldn't give this up for the world. That's just the way they were.

Demyx gently ruffled Roxas's hair and watched as he nuzzled further into Axel. He whispered over his shoulder as he left the room to head for his own bed, "Goodnight guys and thanks."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Zexion wasn't really sure how he'd ended up there but, he was pretty sure that it had quite a lot to do with a pair of limpid blue puppy dog eyes, a very adorable pout and a plate of chocolate chip cookies, which he had grown quite fond of.

Where there was, you might enquire, is crammed in the back of Axel's decidedly small, black, two door vehicle far too close to an overly excited and very bouncy Demyx. Watching his behaviour Zexion wouldn't have believed that the dirty blond haired man had risen at the crack of dawn. He looked around the crammed packed car, he found it hard to understand why it was necessary to take all the excess paraphernalia packed in around them, but that was apparently what was needed when going to the beach.

Yes, you heard him correctly – _the beach._

So how did Zexion get suckered into taking a jaunt out to the seaside with two overly excitable blond s and when smirking red-head, after doing his level best to give a staunch and adamant refusal? Well, here goes, in Zexion's opinion, a complete and inexplicable explanation.

_Demyx had been hid constant companion since the cookie incident – Zexion was calling it that, anyway. For the entire summer, seven baking hot weeks, Demyx had been floating about outside the writer's house after he got home from work - every single day - no matter how much Zexion ignored him or told him insistently to go home. He was always there waiting for him - Zexion swore that the musician was watching out for him to catch him when he was home. _

_Zexion had never let him into the house: that was his own private space, plus he didn't want to think about what other people would say about his lack of decoration, it was rather - spartan. But Demyx always came and sat on the porch, happy to settle in for a couple of hours every night. So, after a week or so of this, Zexion moved a chair, a small table and a cushion outside for him, just in case Demyx wanted them. _

_Zexion had seen the way Demyx rubbed at his neck, as though it was aching, it made him feel - discontent -t to see the sprightly musician in any kind of pain. He didn't want to read any further into that than was necessary, choosing to act instead of dwell for once. Zexion decided that if the silly idiot was going to be this persistent, the least he could do was make it more comfortable. Zexion may be as dispassionate as a rock but he maintained his manners, __they__ had brought him up that way._

_Demyx seemed content to sit on the overly large cushion, settling it so it was pressed diagonally against one of the supports for the wraparound porch so he'd have something to lean against. He seemed to sit for hours contentedly strumming away on the strings of his sitar or humming quietly to the music he had plugged in his ears. Demyx looked happy to just be here, doing mundane things like homework, he often wrote down reams of musical notes that Zexion didn't really understand - not that he'd ever admit that, of course. Zexion would just go study up on it at work, he didn't like not understanding things and not understanding Demyx seemed to irritate him more than anything else. _

_Zexion assumed that this was Demyx's version of studying. He was a music student after all. _

_He was the one that ended up sat in the chair, text books spread across the small table as he worked on his studies and relaxing into the gentle melodies Demyx so effortlessly strung together. _

_It was so rare that Zexion got to listen to music. He had mentioned that to Demyx when they had first met and the blond haired man had insisted that, when he had a chance, he would lend Zexion some music to try; saying it was good for the soul or something ridiculous like that - so very Demyx. Unfortunately Zexion didn't have anything to play it on – but the musician didn't need to know that._

_It seemed Zexion was slowly becoming entwined in Demyx's life and Demyx in his. Demyx may not have realised it, but he'd been slowly chipping away at the wall Zexion had erected around his heart after the accident; his emotions, once buried deep in the darkest recesses of his mind and heart, were now appearing completely unexpectedly. It also didn't help that there were increasing occurrences of that inexplicable heat that radiated through Zexion's body, pouring from his skin, making him feel heady and weak kneed. It always happened around him - Demyx. Zexion wasn't certain what the other man was doing to him and he still couldn't figure out if it was good or bad but... it was new and he was curious about what it was._

_Zexion couldn't rightly remember what these feelings where, but they were driving him insane. He wasn't sure what was happening to his tightly reigned control but he was constantly flooded with thoughts and sensations and they were all compounded in the almost desperate need to touch, something he had shied away from for years. The feelings and needs being unleashed inside him both worried and confounded him. _

_Not to get confused, because around everyone else Zexion felt and appeared as he always had, calm, collected, objective – normal for him. But as soon as Demyx appeared his cool collected control went out the door and he turned into an emotionally fraught teenager, the musician got under his skin and Zexion was resisting the need, the want to touch him. To feel that tanned skin, to touch the dip at the base of his throat, to feel his pulse under his fingertips, to run his fingers through the spikes of his hair and see what texture the silky looking strands actually had. _

_The feelings were never unpleasant – just highly unsettling, confusing and nigh on overwhelming for someone who had pushed all emotion and need aside years ago. Zexion didn't like being confused about anything and no book he had read on the subject seemed to be able to explain it. _

_The presence of the blond haired man felt like a fresh breeze whispering across his skin, trying to tease him out of his shell. Zexion had locked away his emotions years before, tamping them down firmly in the pit of his heart: they were dangerous and volatile to both his health and, at one time, to his fragile mind. He wasn't the same as he was then, years of experience had changed his ideas and strengthened the once fragile shell of his mind. Could he really let his emotions out again? Let them have free reign over his body and his psyche? _

_Would he break like the last time? _

_Zexion couldn't begrudge Demyx anything it seemed, even the things that may cause him pain. He amused and annoyed the writer in turns, but Zexion couldn't seem to push him away. Demyx was plucking his emotions out of him, like he plucked at the stings of his sitar, causing reverberation's so deep in his chest that it ached as the emotion's welled up to meet him. They were all so fresh and... new to Zexion, it was as though he had never truly felt until this point and that terrified him, it made him doubt what he had felt in the past and he wasn't really sure what to do with most of them._

_Demyx's proximity soothed Zexion to some degree, though he was the cause of his emotional turmoil. Demyx had insinuated himself into Zexion's life so thoroughly in such a short amount of time it was sometimes frightening for the writer. Some of those resurfacing emotions Zexion still hadn't got a grasp on yet, but he would or Zexion would force them back into submission. He had felt the anger that he had buried deep, just as he felt the joy and pleasure. His darker emotions were the things he worried over most, but in truth he feared the ones that made him smile, that made him feel – happy. In Zexion's world happiness didn't last and it was that that made him afraid, to trust or to let go completely._

_So, for seven weeks, Zexion's evenings were filled with the soft strains of music, emanating from Demyx's sensually dextrous fingers, the sound of laughter and softly spoken words. Things he had rarely known and had realised he had missed. He couldn't regret meeting the blond haired musician, he had given him so much including the appreciation he felt for his music._

_But more recently Demyx had turning his talent's to something more industrious, in his mind anyway. He had been cajoling, teasing and, on occasion, attempting to beg Zexion, trying to get him to go with him to the beach. Zexion couldn't really understand Demyx's obsession with it. The beach was nothing but a collection of broken down shell fish and salt rich water that hadn't been purified in the atmosphere. Zexion couldn't say he'd ever been to the beach; granted, the prospect intrigued him to some degree, but there were far too many risks in that particular venture. Though he had been letting his emotional control slip, he didn't think he could give in to the need to touch, to be touched – it gave him that queasy, churning in his gut just at the thought of it._

_It all started two weeks ago. Demyx was quietly probing Zexion for information with badly disguised questions about his work hours and if he ever had any spare time for himself away from studying._

_Zexion had replied in kind and explained that he was either working or studying – he actually enjoyed learning for learning's sake. He hadn't disguised his own curiosity at Demyx's line of questioning and the musician gave him the queerest look when Zexion gave him a rather succinct reply._

_The puzzled frown that had marred Demyx's brow made Zexion twitch, wanting to reach out and smooth it away, he hated seeing Demyx frowning. It reminded him to much of that day, the day he had first brought cookies to his door and the hurt that had been clear in sapphire pools. It also had a habit of giving Zexion the oddest urges, he had barely resisted the need to reach out and touch, yes touch, and smooth away those antagonising marks with his fingertips._

_Zexion had proceeded to ask him some of his own questions in retaliation for the non-too-subtle grilling he had received. Querying his reasoning behind such specific questions, reasoning that during the last few weeks of his evening visits, Demyx had likely already deduced the answers to his questions._

_Zexion knew he was fairly quiet at the best of times, but he did remember telling Demyx about his work at the library and his studies, mostly though, he had let Demyx's smooth, velvety voice fill the emptiness that always surrounded this house and to just listen to the gentle cadence of his words._

_Demyx had looked rather sheepish at Zexion's rejoinder and a soft pink glow issued from his cheeks, he had rubbed at the back of his neck in that nervous gesture that he and Axel shared, stumbling endearingly over his next few words. "Well, I was...uhm...you see...I was, well we were...wondering ifyou'." He inhaled quickly and almost choked on the breath after his very rapid flow of words._

_Zexion had sat watching him as he processed the tangled onslaught Demyx had offered up; he wanted him to go... to the beach? He raised his face to look at Demyx, after shaking his head in confusion, dark grey strands of hair falling over his face once again. Zexion had whispered his own query. "Why would you want me to do that?"_

_He was genuinely curious, tilting his head enough so that he could watch the blond haired man fumbling and steadily darkening in that rosy hue, rubbing more fervently at his neck. It had made Zexion want to reach out and stop the sporadic movement so he would just speak to him without interruptions and distractions. Needless to say Zexion didn't – no more panic attacks for him thank you very much._

"_Well, that's easy stupid – we like your company, that's not a bad thing, ya know." He looked so endearing, sitting there on Zexion's porch, mumbling his words, bashful to the end. Zexion hadn't even registered that Demyx had called him stupid or that his own cheeks had turned a deep magenta at Demyx's awkward compliment._

_Unfortunately, beaches meant more heat and a prerequisite amount of skin being visible, plus lots of touching – Zexion couldn't do either of those things and, as much as he treasured the fact that Demyx had asked him to go with him somewhere he'd never actually been before, he couldn't allow himself to go. No matter how much he wanted to. Images of Demyx's with more skin visible than normal made his cheeks warm further – Zexion just couldn't give himself the opportunity._

_It pained him because so few people actually wanted his company, and it had surprised him to realise that he actually wanted to go even though he couldn't. Demyx had filled his heart with such warmth from something so simple; he never could manage to smother this sweet ache the musician had instigated in his chest ever since he'd met him. It appeared as though Zexion's emotions had turned into a runaway train whenever this delightful blond creature was anywhere near him. a tumult of want, pleasure and regret filling his chest._

_Zexion had once been excellent at appearing completely impassive and cold – now half the time, when Demyx was nearby, he was struggling with himself not to smile or just to sit and stare at the musician as he played. _

_But this? _

_This Zexion couldn't do – he could feel his heart weighing heavily in his chest, it felt like he couldn't breathe, he knew what he would need to do._

_Zexion mustered his resolve and injected as much disinterest into his voice as he could, "I can't go out, I have work and my studies to think of. It's almost time to go back to college, you should be studying, too."_

_Zexion knew he didn't have to be so chilly, but Demyx was persistent and if he didn't rebuff him firmly now then the musician would just keep insisting and Zexion worried more and more at the power this one person seemed to hold over him._

_He never wanted to see Demyx sad, even though, by doing this, he would make him so. _

_Which is why Zexion had looked out past him, not watching as his eyes drift to the ground, shoulders slumping._

_Demyx was so dejected by Zexion's reply and he couldn't bear witness to it; even as his heart constricted in his chest, begging him to look just at Demyx. He couldn't help but try to comfort him a little bit – and maybe that was Zexion's undoing, "I'm sorry Demyx – I can't go to the beach with you."_

_Demyx instinctively reached out for Zexion and he flinched away from his outstretched hand and in that moment he had known that that had hurt far worse than his words ever had. Demyx withdrew his hand and tucked it firmly in his lap, far away from him._

_Zexion felt like he'd kicked a puppy, a deep bitter feeling churning in his gut, he couldn't help looking at him and whispering so quietly it wasn't more than a breath, "I'm sorry." Zexion didn't know if Demyx had heard him._

_Demyx had nodded silently and sat for a few minutes, struggling with – something - in his mind; his sitar sat untouched, resting against the wall of the house - silent. "Zexion – I'm gonna head home, I'm... tired." Zexion had watched with pain in his heart as Demyx had risen to his feet, wrapping slender fingers around the neck of the delicate instrument leaning against the house and quietly slipped off the porch; shoulders slumped, he looked so alone and Zexion couldn't bear it._

"_Are you... coming back... tomorrow?" Zexion's voice was tentative, almost fragile, even though he was trying to sound like his usual, stoic self. His typical self assurance had been decimated by the emotions of one very disheartened blond. Zexion felt like his heart was fraying around the edges at Demyx's lost expression. The only reply Zexion had received as he watched Demyx looked at him from over his shoulder was the barest nod, before he turned away once more and continued on his way._

_Demyx never came by the following night and Zexion believed that he had pushed him away with his harsh words and lack of social graces – he didn't rest well that night. Much to his chagrin, Zexion was getting far too attached to Demyx, his sunny, musical blond. _

_But Zexion had been surprised to find a plate sat by his front door in the morning, loaded with double chocolate chip cookies. He didn't resist the twitch of his lip at the sight in front of him, a small smile adorning his lips. Retrieving the dish he had tucked it away in the kitchen for later, Zexion had a feeling Demyx's stubborn streak was about to show itself._

_Zexion hadn't been__ wrong. _

_He had never seen anyone go to the extremes Demyx did. The dirty bond haired man followed Zexion everywhere for two weeks solid, whether he was working or not. Demyx tailed him around the supermarket and every few hours he asked again – even resorting to bribery via cookies. Which, Zexion had to admit, he was growing to love – home baked._

_It took some time on Demyx's part and a great deal of 'No's' before Demyx turned to his last resort. He had come to Zexion's house on the Friday night after he had finished work – having been absent from his job Zexion had hoped the persistent man would have given up. Instead he had found Demyx on his knees on the porch, cookies in hand and the most heart wrenching pout complete with tear drenched luminous ocean blues eyes adorning his face._

_Demyx had pleaded with him, "Please, Zexion – come to the beach with me." It had changed over the weeks from 'us' to 'me' and it pulled at Zexion's heart even more._

_Demyx's lip trembled – he looked on the verge of tears. _

_Zexion couldn't help but feel the squeeze around his heart at such a sight. He had been putting up a damn good fight but, as he thought Demyx knew, nobody, him included, could resist that face. _

_He pointed an accusing finger at the kneeling man and spoke firmly, "You're a god damned sneak. That isn't fair and you know it."_

_Demyx had blinked up at him in confusion and the look that crossed his face made Zexion feel like had slapped him and he knew that he'd gone and done it again. _

"_I... sorry, Demyx."_

_Zexion had reached out and realized just what he'd been about top do, stepped back and dropped his hand down, hoping Demyx hadn't seen. Zexion was always putting his big foot in it. He should already know that Demyx was the kind of person who didn't realize what that face could do to people, he just wanted his company for one afternoon – surely he could do that?_

_Zexion__ had shifted and walked around Demyx, pausing at his side, hair shadowing his face from those curious baby blues eyes, "I'll go, alright – just don't ... do that, okay?" Zexion had hoped that Demyx understood what he'd meant by those words. He didn't want to see the musician on his knees for anyone, let alone him. He never wanted to see him cry, either - just the threat of being the cause of his tears made his heart feel like it was breaking._

_Zexion had chanced a glance down from under his bangs to catch sight of a breathtaking smile, that curled those sweet looking lips, blue eyes dancing with joy, no longer drenched with impending tears. _

_Demyx had placed the plate down to the side, rising to his full height, moving as if to hug Zexion and he moved quickly the other way – his nerves jangling viciously in his stomach._

"_Don't do that."His voice was breathy and he could hear the edge of fear lacing through it._

_Demyx's smile had faltered somewhat but stayed as he nodded quietly, whispering something Zexion could barely hear, "I hope you'll tell me about that one day."_

_Zexion's arms wrapped protectively around his body, baggy shirt fisted over his bare hands, trying to protect every inch of visible skin, face turning to look at the ground again_

"_There's nothing to tell."_

_Demyx had looked at him then, watching and perceiving – something. His lip lifted at the corner, a small smile tilting the soft looking petals, "Alright then, Zexy."_

_That nasty nickname again, but Zexion knew, from just seven weeks in Demyx's company, that he had dropped the subject. _

"_So how about we have tea and some of these cookies, and then I'll fill you in on what 'cha need on Sunday? Hey, when you gonna let me in your house ... hmmm... you always make the tea and I wanna help you?"_

"_Yes, alright, and sometime never – in that order." _

_Zexion's barriers had gone back up again and the conversation that followed seemed to resemble playful banter that ebbed back and forth. He'd never been more grateful for it. _

_Zexion always found it difficult to be around someone who was so physically orientated, but Demyx had finagled his way into the writer's life and he couldn't say that he was too unhappy about it._

So, this morning, early even for him, they had all piled into Axel's small car, that he loved and cooed at ridiculously, and headed for the beach. An hour or so later, they arrived to be greeted by a vista of sparkling blue, that reminded Zexion of a certain dirty blond sitting next to him.

It was beautiful and he couldn't help but stare at it in awe – so much more than what he had expected. His fingers rested against the cool glass as he watched the ebb and flow of the waves. Even thought Zexion had been reluctant at first, to not have been able to see this? He couldn't help but voice his thoughts, voice full of awe, "It's so beautiful."

"Yep – it really is."

Zexion didn't realize that Demyx wasn't looking at the sea when he said that or that his eyes locked with Axel's in the central mirror, once they had been turned away from me or the strange way they seemed to understand each other in an inaudible conversation.

'_It's him, isn't it?'_

'_Yeah, it is.'_

'_I'm glad.'_

'_Thanks – this isn't going to be easy, is it?'_

'_No but things like that are worth it in the end.'_

'_Alright – I'll do my best.'_

'_Go for it – got it memorized?'_

'_Yep.'_

Zexion turned back to see Demyx grinning and his heart fluttered like a baby bird inside his chest. Demyx was beautiful, too –he growled in his head_, _stupid berating himself and reminding himself to stay away from those kinds of thoughts they lead to nothing but awkwardness.

What could Zexion say? He wasn't the type to wax poetic, that was Marluxia's job. Zexion couldn't resist – Demyx just seemed to shine. Whilst he, well, if he was being all broody and metaphorical Zexion would say that Demyx was the light and he the shadow. Apparently he was channelling the pink haired menace today.

He looked back out the window and watched the waves crashing and rolling against the sand.

Zexion sat wondering just when it would be that this small moment of peace would come crashing down around him – all over again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After his initial reticence in coming to the beach with the three troublesome males, Zexion found that it had, so far, been a very relaxing and surprisingly pleasant experience. He had spent most of the morning curled up contentedly on the towels with one of his library books, taking in the fresh, crisp sea air that ruffled his slate coloured hair with teasing fingers, as he sat in the shade of the gaudily coloured umbrella.

Zexion was contentedly watching Demyx, Axel and the brat frolicking about in the rolling surf. Although Demyx had been trying to cajole him into the water, and had tried on multiple occasions since they had arrived to do so. He had apparently noticed Zexion's seruptious glances at the tumbling surf which rolled up the beach and then back again, ebbing with the tide. Zexion had been quietly reading his book to start with, but the sound of the waves crashing to the shore drew his gaze to it like iron filings to a magnet. He sat nestled amongst there belonging's, brightly coloured towel's, bags, a cooler that contained there lunch and multiple bottles of drink to help keep them hydrated.

But he had refused the invitation, Zexion couldn't get wet. Not because he didn't want to, the temptation of the cool water was a steady tug on his conscious but he hadn't brought a change of clothes with him and now he was kicking himself for the oversight. As it was Demyx had to lend him a pair of dark purple swim shorts, which hung dangerously low on his more slender hips and ended just passed his knees, because he didn't own any of his own, and that was a rather embarrassing conversation if he did say so himself.

The slightly stiff fabric was the perfect length, covering plenty of skin from view. Zexion had worn his own long sleeved top in a pale grey over said shorts in the hopes of warding off the burning heat of the sun and keeping his body covered from wrist to knee.

Zexion could feel the soft pull of the salty breeze twinning around him, tempting him to touch the cool ocean waves crashing to the shore, tempting him to come in and swim, he had always enjoyed swimming as a child and it had been a very long time since he'd indulged, for very good reason.

A time or two, he had almost risen to dabble his pale feet in the cold water, if only to ease the heat reflecting off the ivory sands. But Zexion had managed to resist the tantalising scent of the sea and the growing need he was just starting to adjust to that had him wanting to be closer to the dirty blond haired man bounding around happily with his brother and Axel.

Zexion watched Axel and the brat playing around together in the salt water and it brought tightness to his chest that was unwanted and unfamiliar. He turned smoky eyes to the musician, watching him grin at their antics as he lazed about in the waves. But Zexion couldn't help wondering how real that smile truly was; it looked strained to his eyes. He watched Demyx attentively for a while from behind borrowed sunglasses and the veil of his windswept hair; he was so graceful, if a little clumsy.

Zexion felt a tug at the corner of his lips more often than he had before, the temptation this man represented was undeniable – he warmed him, made him want to smile. He had wanted to smile and laugh at the three young men cavorting in the waves and on the shore, they were being completely ridiculous but enjoying every minute, judging by their laughter – it was like watching a comedy of errors. Zexion brought cool fingertips to his lips to hide the chuckle that he let escape as Demyx was crushed under the enthusiastic red head and the little pest. A frown slipping across his features as it took the older blond a little longer to get up, after being flattened by the other two.

Zexion watched their antics for a few hours before they tried to get him to play a game of volleyball with them. It turned out that he couldn't resist three pairs of puppy eyes directed at him, combined with those dejected pouts from the childish bunch. His initial refusals had garnered him no sympathy, the three were even more determined to make him join their game – resorting to the most basic of bribes, puppy eyes, pouts and tears.

"That is not fair – it is bad enough he does it why are you joining in? Especially you brat?" Zexion pointed a finger at Demyx in accusation and then turned a forbidding glower on the younger blond and the lanky red head who just grinned unapologetially.

Roxas glowered back at him, pouting in spite of the annoyed look itching to break across his features.

Zexion watched Axel sputtering from the corner of his eye as he tried to refrain from laughing at his other half's predicament. He heard a smothered giggle from behind him and turned to watch as the sounds increased in volume, bubbling forth from the musician's parted lips.

He couldn't restrain the smile that was curving his usually dower visage and wasn't quick enough to hide it as that amazing sound exited from those plush lips. Zexion thought it might just be the first time that Demyx had really laughed like that around him and it seemed to have the other two grinning happily at their friend and brother.

It would seem that Demyx couldn't have sounded any less beautiful to his ears; every sound he made was exquisite like the chimes and notes of the music he loved. Zexion shook his head at the stray thoughts passing through his head, burying the odd feeling that bloomed inside his chest that had arisen at the musician's laughter.

He didn't think he'd ever heard Demyx sound so happy.

Zexion looked on as Demyx ran his palms across his cheeks, swiping away the tears of mirth that trickled down his skin, eyes squinted shut as he wiped them dry. The dirty blond haired man smothered his laughter a little more successfully this time, only letting the soft snorts out every now and again, managing to speak to his brother, "You look so damn funny Rox' …pftt...hahah."

Demyx then curled his hands around his waist, laughing between winces, his sides aching from laughing so hard, "Hahh...it hurts... to funny...hahah."

The pest in question just frowned at his brother before giving him an almost sweet smile, his normally sharp blue eyes softening as he watched his brother's amusement. Zexion had never seen that particular look before; it warmed the younger blonds' face and made him wonder just how much of a front the smaller man put on for the world around him. He watched Roxas's expression as he looked back at Demyx and knew then that maybe Demyx had been faking at least some of those beautiful smiles. He turned a wary gaze to Axel, after not hearing anything from him for a few minutes, and found him alternating his gaze between him and the smaller blond he was so obsessed with.

The red head gave Zexion a very calculating look and he'd freely admit that it made him feel slightly on edge.

"Zex, you gonna come play or what – it'd make up the numbers and we can play in pairs. Not to mention you'd make Demyx happy."

Zexion glowered at Axel from behind the tinted lenses, brows furrowing in consternation, manipulative pyro!

As Zexion glowered at the red head he didn't notice the sudden silence and watched in shock as the aforementioned red head went sprawling, a flushed sandy blond elbowing him hard in the ribs, growling low at the landed Axel, "Shut up, Axel."

Zexion was a spectator for a few minutes as the two men locked gazes, silently staring at each other as Axel rose to sitting, eyes never leaving the musician. He noted the shifts in features from Axel but he wasn't able to see the opposing movements from Demyx, the blond haired man's broad shouldered, tanned skinned, back facing him. The pale expanse tempted him, he wanted to run his fingertips along the smooth contours, down the length of his spine, to brush away the sand that marred the length of it.

Zexion had the overwhelming urge to reach out and turn Demyx around so he could see those expressions that he was sharing with Axel; his fingers clutching at the fabric of his grey sleeve as he stopped his body from reacting and causing a scene. How they could carry out such a complicated conversation without any words baffled and annoyed Zexion. Though, he couldn't place why he was irritated by the unusual method of conversation.

The brat broke up the mental committee meeting the two were having with an audible huff and a very near growl, "Axel..." in a foreboding tone. The pyro's eye contact broke instantly, looking over at the disgruntled figure of his boyfriend hovering over him. Axel just reached up and ran a nervous hand through his crimson spikes looking rather sheepish, "Sorry you guys."

Zexion was completely baffled by the exchange and didn't want to keep thinking about the odd undertones that the non-conversation had. So he dove right in – feet first.

"Well are we going to play or just talk about it all day – it's hot you know." The winning smile that Demyx turned on him made his heart flutter in his chest, blue eyes lit up shining the colour of sparkling topaz.

What he wouldn't do to see that smile again.

Zexion shook his hair out from its mooring behind his ear, letting it fall haphazardly across his cheek, creating a barrier between that blinding smile and his own face. Zexion could feel a light heat spreading across his cheeks that he couldn't attribute to sunburn and he knew that he was blushing again. His mind cursing and ranting, dam it all - this isn't right! How does he did he do this to him?

Zexion spun on his heel, breaking the contact and headed for the volleyball net that was a little ways down the beach, listening as the others frantically grabbed things to take with them in his wake. He turned his stormy gaze out to the sea, wishing he could step into those cold depths just once. He didn't hear the lanky redhead step up beside him before his rich tenor slipped out into the breeze, "You can go in you know – there's nothing against swimming."

Zexion shook his head and looked away from the sea, staring down at his cloth-covered hands, the long sleeves of his charcoal coloured shirt stretching just passed his fingertips.

"No - I can't."

Axel heard the mumbled response, placing a careful hand on Zexion's clothed shoulder, squeezing gently.

Zexion didn't flinch back as he would have with Demyx, Axel and he had been around each other long enough to know where the boundaries where. That and Axel didn't push – he knew something, but he never wanted answers.

Demyx – wanted nothing but.

Zexion turned an expressionless gaze to the red head, grateful for the small gesture he had so freely given, nodding once and watching Axel's hand slipped back to hang at his side.

"We brought spares you know – I thought, well, you might want them or something."

Zexion watched Axel scratch the back of his neck awkwardly, they made an odd pair both strangely awkward to talk to but comfortable with eachother non-the-less. Zexion saw Axel shrug nonchalantly and give one of his cocky grins from the corner of his eye, "Whatever – right?"

"Right." Zexion faced forwards once again, eyes following the curve of the long beach, seeing hundred's of umbrellas, beds and people littering the shore. He wondered idly what it looked like when it was empty - natural. He considered what Axel had just offered, it was a thoughtful gesture from the redhead and it made him feel that gentle warmth that Demyx inspired inside him the thought, though it didn't hold the same intensity. To be able to touch the sea and to be there beside Demyx, it made his heart flutter and his stomach clench in anticipation and regret.

Roxas watched the two striding ahead, the annoying one's gaze slipping out to sea before Axel placed a kind hand on his shoulder, making him turn to face him. Roxas couldn't figure it out, how was it alright for Axel to behave so friendly towards him and not Demyx? It didn't matter that the contact was brief, he turned to watch his happy go lucky brother and saw the pain that was evident in his eyes, as he watched the exchange. Roxas had noticed how often Demyx's expression shifted to the sad frown and it had only gotten worse since he'd met Zexion, not better like he and Axel had hoped.

He had been watching Zexion on and off all day – seeing the way he gazed so longingly at Demyx. It was so strange that even after a few weeks nothing had happened. Demyx was staying quiet about the whole thing, even more than normal, but he knew that his brother was hiding something and he was hurting, even more than before.

Roxas turned a dark scowl back to the slate haired man and caught Axel's viridian gaze, he gave him a small shake of his head, his own eyes reflecting the pain both parties seemed to be suffering from.

Roxas gave him the tiniest smile, though it was a bit strained, catching the quick wink he threw back at me, a tiny sparkle glinting in his eyes.

He turned his full attention back on his despondent brother, "Hey Demy, how about we pair up and kick their asses?" Roxas's question seemed to catch Demyx off guard, but he smiled - a small - but genuine smile, eyes clearly reflecting there thanks. Roxas grabbed his hand, feeling the calluses on his fingertips were he stroked the strings of his favourite instruments, and realising that he hadn't been playing as much as he used to. Roxas tugged Demyx along in his wake, determined to cheer his brother up for however long he could, swiftly racing past the other two, yelling as they went, "You hear that losers – we're gonna kick your asses!"

Roxas could hear Demyx's laugher behind him and he squeezed his fingers, pleased that he'd managed to way lay his brother's unhappiness, no matter how temporary it may be. He could hear Axel chuckle as they ducked passed; catching his salacious response, "I'd rather have your ass, Roxy."

"You nasty, asshole." Roxas didn't really care who heard him when he stopped and spun around to face his lover, "You're dead – here me flamer!"

"That all you got - Blondie." He winked at Roxas, saucy bastard.

"No but you knew that already."

Roxas couldn't really stay angry, he enjoyed their jibing too much and he relented with a grin, his face froze on hearing a throaty chuckle and he redirected his cerulean stare to encompass both the slate haired menace and his brother.

"What are you guys laughing at?" Roxas gave Zexion a glare before looking at his brother, amusement ticking at the corner of his lips.

"You guys are something else."

It was Zexion who replied in his quiet, soft voice, but he wasn't looking at Roxas when he spoke. It seemed that the slate haired man was transfixed by his brother's eyes, their gazes locked and they nodded together in agreement.

Roxas hid his own smile behind his hand before they could see. Sneaking a quick glance at Axel, who was doing the same.

Roxas recognized their behaviour, being around Cloud and Leon and having experienced it with Axel it made him happy, they were doing the same thing that he and Axel did. Acknowledging and laughing in shared amusement without even realising that they weren't speaking.

Axel broke the moment when he raced across the sand, "Last one there has to buy the ice cream!" ruffling Roxas's hair as he whizzed past.

"You God damn pyro – that's not fair!" Roxas carted around on his heel to race after Axel only to feel air rush past him as Zexion dashed past in a monochromatic blur, Demyx in hot pursuit.

Roxas chased after them all but still came last, "Damn it – it's not fair, I'm smaller than all of you! You'd be toast if I had my board."

Axel swooped down and scooped Roxas off his feet, his arms looping easily around Axel's neck instinctively at the sudden movement, ignoring all the other people around them who were openly staring at them.

Roxas couldn't resist rubbing their naked chests together, snuggling closer to the lanky redhead. Axel planted a sloppy kiss against his cheek, before nuzzling into salt strewn blond locks, nipping at his ear and whispering against it, "But Roxy you're so cute because your small – you fit just perfectly right here."

Axel gave Roxas a gentle squeeze before resting his feet back on the ground.

Axel held onto him as Roxas got his bearings back, moving from ground to air to ground again was a tad disorientating. Roxas leant against Axel's taut stomach, just breathing in his scent, cinnamon, vanilla and salt from the water - yummy. Axel's arms were draped loosely around his petite frame when two voices cleared their throats, "So Roxy... we gonna play or what?"

Roxas winked up at his lover before leaning away from his slender, toned frame, turning to pin Demyx with a cocked eyebrow, "Well, we are gonna kick ass after all – right Dem?" He couldn't restrain the cocky note in his voice as he smiled back over his shoulder at Axel, who grinned in return.

"We'll see shortie!" was Axel's only response before ducking to the other side of the net with Zexion.

Roxas stuck his tongue out in response and grabbed up the luminous green ball, positioning himself, ready to serve. "Here it comes – I'll teach you to call me shortie!"

00-00-00

Well, the match was decided to be a draw in the end because nobody could remember who had scored the most points. Demyx hadn't thought that Zexy would be quite so competitive and yet it made sense to him. The writer was good at everything, so it was clear his determination would transfer over to anything he attempted to do. Plus, Demyx thought that he just wanted to beat Roxas – who'd done nothing but taunt the older man all the way through the game.

Demyx had been watching the normally subdued man quite avidly at the beginning of the game, which was until he got hit upside the head by Roxas because he wasn't paying enough attention. He couldn't really dispute that, giving his brother a rather sheepish smile before going at it with tooth and nail.

It felt so good to be back outside, in the sunshine, the smell of the fresh crisp breeze rolling off the ocean. Demyx hadn't realised how much he had had missed it, how different the city was from being out here. But the best part was that he got to bring Zexy here, to his special place. It didn't matter that they weren't alone; it was just good to be here together.

Demyx loved to watch the slate haired man, absorbing everything about him that he could. They had become, dare he say – friends. But he knew that there was something that didn't quite sit right between them. The reminder had become even more acute when Axel was permitted to touch that slender shoulder, in what looked like reassurance. It's not that Demyx could begrudge him that but he wanted to be the one to offer it, to make him feel better – more at ease. He also knew that his touch would have been unwanted, shrugged off or withdrawn from, and that hurt.

Demyx wanted to know what it was that the red head had and he clearly didn't.

All he could feel and had felt for the past month was an inconsolable urge to be close to Zexion, to make him smile and he couldn't. To Demyx, Zexion seemed infinitely sad, no matter how well he hid it and Demyx wanted - so desperately - to take it away the best way he knew how. Demyx wanted to give Zexion all those silly gestures people make in comfort to one another, the light brush of fingers, that odd manly one armed hug – all those things that he believed people needed, even only now and again. But he wouldn't let him and Demyx didn't understand why.

The game was over; Roxas had gone off to collect our ice cream order.

Roxas had found it immensely confounding that Zexy had never tried sea-salt ice cream and proceeded to explain the greatness of the treat he himself was obsessed with. It was amazing to watch Roxas opening up to someone he didn't know well, even if they did have a pretty bad start Demyx hoped that they'd become some semblance of friends – he didn't think Zexion had many. Demyx smiled quietly at Zexion's curious eyes as both Axel and Roxas explained the concept of sea salt ice cream to him – it was such an endearingly curious expression, brows drawn together, gaze focused. It made Demyx wonder what it would be like to be under such scrutiny, and that made heat curl low in his belly, which in turn made him feel flush and flustered.

Demyx had noticed that Zexion's nose and cheeks were going a very delicate pink, his fair skin almost glowing in the sunlight. He reached out to touch him to get his attention, but recoiled at the realisation of what he had been about to do. He caught Axel's gaze as he turned quickly to hide his thoughtless movement.

Axel's viridian gaze tracked Demyx's movements as he stared out at the sea he loved so much, he felt a warm arm loop loosely around his shoulders and squeeze before letting go. And Demyx knew he had seen what he had narrowly avoided.

Demyx turned his gaze up to look at the lanky red head and gave a hesitant smile, "Thanks Ax... would you tell him that he needs more sun cream or something, he's getting burnt."

He lifted his hand to gesture at the bridge of his own UV protected nose.

"You don't wanna tell him yourself?"

Demyx shook his head subtly, trying not to catch any more attention, unknowing that although the other two were still talking a certain pair of stormy grey eyes were watching his every move.

"Alright Dem, Rox is off to get some ice cream what do you want?"

"Vanilla's fine; I'm gonna go swim for a bit." Demyx's eyes where downcast as he replied and then walked himself down to the shoreline, his gaze drifting up to take in the vast expanse of blue laid out before him, as the sea licked at his feet. He stared out at the horizon, trying to define where the cloudless sky and the sea met, but finding only a blur, much as he had as a child. Demyx had lost himself in that sea so many times; it's where he had solved his worst problems and his fears. He hoped that it could help him now, when he felt so completely cast adrift.

He strode in a little ways before diving into the oncoming waves, missing the gasp of surprise behind him as he pumped his arms hard, blood rushing through his heart with a steady monotonous rhythm.

He didn't know that Axel had to reassure the pale man that he'd left stood on the beach that it was normal for him to dive straight in like that; telling him to go apply some sun cream before he burnt to a crisp, not voicing that it had been Demyx's request, whilst they waited for Roxas to return with their nice ice cold treat.

Demyx only stopped when his body grew tired; gently floating in the waves as they moved him closer to shore. He could see Axel on the beach from miles away, bright red hair a flag against the pale sand, he was waving at him from a distance, a blue frisbee in hand.

Demyx smiled, a truly genuine smile, they hadn't done this in a long time and Axle knew that he enjoyed spending time here - together again. It brought back many happy memories, although a few sad ones tried to creep in. But Demyx clamped down hard on those, concentrating on pushing his body up out of the water to go and play the new game with Axel.

Zexion was curled up in the shade of the multihued umbrella, watching Demyx the entire time he had been in the water, admiring the way he seemed to slice through the water – the man was a natural. He hadn't realised that he'd licked his lips subconsciously as the musician slipped out of the tumbling waves, small droplets of moisture coursing down the well toned muscles of his chest and stomach, board short's clinging to toned thighs and other things. Zexion clamped his eyes shut and tried to shake push those images from his mind and consequentially didn't notice the smaller blond approaching him with icy lollipops in hand.

Demyx turned a quick glance up the beach on reaching Axel and watching in shock as Roxas tried to give one of the unwrapped ice creams to Zexion. The writer was staring at that hand in sheer terror as Roxas extended his hand so that Zexion could take the salty bar from him. Demyx's whole body froze up for a few precious seconds before he shot towards the pair, yelling at the top of his lungs, "Roxas – stop!"

He reached them both in a flurry of sand to see the ashen man trembling, his body arched as far away from Roxas as possible. "Roxas, would you go see Axel for a minute?" Demyx didn't take his eyes away from the frightened man, as he spoke quietly to the confused looking blond. Demyx wanted to sooth Zexion's fears with every fibre of his being but he didn't know how. All he did know was that Roxas had frightened him with his proximity and it would be best if he moved away.

Demyx didn't see the confusion slipping into cerulean orbs or the arm that snaked out around Roxas's waist as Axel hugged him bodily from behind before extracting the ice cream he had been trying to give to Zexion from his fingers. The red head planted a soft kiss to the confused furrow on the Roxas's forehead and slipped around him. "Demy, move a minute will you."

It wasn't a request and Demyx turned surprised eyes on his closest friend as Axel manoeuvred him away from the distressed man.

Demyx watched as Axel dropped down to his knees in front of Zexion, not getting any closer, not touching him. "Zexion – come on you wanted this right."

Axels gaze focused on Zexion as he waved the pale blue bar in front of him and just like that he snapped back.

Demyx was startled by the growl that came from Zexion's throat growled, his gruff words aimed at the red head, "Shut up you pyromaniac."

Zexion looked around and saw Demyx and Roxas watching him from just under the shade of the umbrella and he averted his gaze when he met concerned sapphire, "I'm not a zoo exhibit."

Demyx winced at that, knowing that it was both embarrassing and annoying to be watched by so many people; so he turned and pulled Roxas's along with him.

"Demyx, that's it isn't it?" Roxas's voice was subdued but confident in his assumption, much as you would expect from a young man with his intellect – he was a lot like Zexion in that regard. Roxas's was far too smart for Demyx he'd tell you that.

Demyx's only reply was a quiet, "Yeah."

He sat down on the shorefront, one leg propped up, arm laced around it, his normally usually stiff brother collapsing down beside him with a quiet huff. The smaller blond leant into Demyx's side just like he did when they were small.

Roxas's favourite ice cream went completely ignored in favour of just being with his brother.

Demyx couldn't even bring a smile to his face, not like back then when the small, awkward gesture would make him feel happy, warm and loved. Right then he felt like hsi heart was being shredded inside his chest. Roxas was the only source of warmth he could feel, his whole body was cold and aching to be warm again.

Demyx's gaze was drawn to the waves; he looked longingly out to sea. Were where all the answers? Why was this so hard and why did he want it so much, that it caused so much pain? He let a single salty tear course down his cheek before letting his mind drift away. He never noticed Roxas leave his side, but Demyx stood up after a while and wandered down the beach, not really watching where he was headed, lost in thought, his arms wrapped loosely around his aching chest.

What was he going to do?

00-00-00

Zexion watched both blonds' move away; tracing the taller of the two behind lowered eyelashes, heat sifting to rest across his cheeks. He was such an idiot! Why did he put himself in that position - he knew Roxas would return and would want to hand over the sticky, cold substance he'd tempted him in to trying.

Zexion shook his head in disgust, a sneer decorating his lips, "Stupid, god damn idiot."

"Are you talking about you or him?"

Zexion's gaze lifted to the red head who'd sat close by, but not to close, bright green eyes turning from watching his best friend and his lover disappear across the sand to sit on the shore.

Axel knew the situation was bad when Roxas leant against his brother, offering him the same comfort he sometimes gave to him with that odd gesture, another family trait.

"Me, him does it matter – I should never have come here. It was a mistake." Zexion turned his face away from Axel's penetrating gaze and watched the two blonds' at the water's edge once more. "I've done it again haven't I, Axel?"

His voice was barely a whisper, but the pain laced through it seemed to calm the rising anger the red head was feeling.

"Zexion, do you care about him? Do you realise how hurt he was because he couldn't help you and I could?"

Zexion knew Axel had a very good point and he could see how badly this was affecting the blond, the distance he was imposing between them. It hurt more than he would like to say. His heart felt like it was lodged in his throat, eyes stinging from restrained tears.

"Do you think I don't know that? I do not want to hurt him alright, but he won't leave me alone. He's always there; I'm not good for other people, Axel. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, there's just something about him and I just – I can't help wanting to be close to him."

Zexion's sudden fervour ebbed as those final words came out, he could feel the sting of frustrated tears trying to slide down his cheeks and he dashed them away with a closed fist. He couldn't understand what was wrong with him, he'd never felt such turmoil, all these feelings and emotions were unrepentant in their assault.

"You like him, Zexion. You never wanted to make friends before. I these last few weeks I have seen you go out of your way to be kind to Demyx. Don't you dare think you can act all 'I don't know what you're talking about' bullshit, you like Demyx."

Zexion could feel Axel's words settling in his mind, like they were meant to fit just so, as, at the same time, they tangled around his heart.

The quiet snort from Axel at the expression on Zexion's face was ignored in favour of this untimely revelation.

"I like him? I don't like anybody." Zexion could feel the words rolling off his tongue and found that they felt oddly comfortable there. His own denial was a sour taste on his tongue. He sent his gaze back down to the shoreline to be greeted by an angry blond headed in his direction, and Zexion toppled sideways when he attempted to locate the other by leaning too far over.

Axel and Roxas exchanged an odd look and the outrage that had been oozing from the little pest cooled to a heated stare. "Go talk to him would you – stupid idiot! I can't believe this shit. After everything else he likes someone like you!"

Zexion hazarded a glance back into angry cerulean eyes and arched an eyebrow at his choice of phrase.

"Everything that happened?" Zexion questioned and Roxas flushed bright pink at being caught out. Zexion gave him tiny quirk of his lip as he found Roxas's discomfort amusing and to let him know he hadn't missed that little slip.

So, Demyx has his own secrets too.

Zexion pushed himself up off the ground, dodging around the embarrassed pest. He wrapped both arms around his waist in an effort to keep the butterflies from erupting as they flitted about haphazardly inside him, making him feel alternately queasy and heady. He headed for the spot Demyx had been sat in and found it empty. He looked at the disappearing footprints walking along the shore and set out at a jog in that direction, hair whipping in the breeze as his feet kicked up the wet sand. Zexion tried to reach out to him when he finally caught up with him, but he couldn't, his arm halting in mid air, fingers clenching tightly around his material covered fingers.

Zexion couldn't touch him to get his attention, but he could talk to him or, at least, he could try.

"D-Demyx? I… look I'm... sorry." It was hard to say but he knew what he had said hurt Demyx, it was written throughout his lithe body. The tension in his shoulder, his stiff posture, his arms mimicked Zexion's, curling protectively around his waist.

Demyx's pace slowed to a stop a few feet in front of him and he half turned, dirty blond hair rippling across his shoulders in the breeze, one ocean blue eye visible on his drawn features.

"Why, Zexion? I don't understand. Why can't I help you?"

Zexion shook his head slowly, pale grey strands filtering down, shadowing his right eye. HE couldn't answer that question, it wasn't just him - nobody could help him.

So Zexion denied it all, "Because I don't need help. There's nothing wrong with me, Demyx. I should not have come today, but I wanted..." His voice wasn't steady as he spoke to Demyx's back, hiding behind the make shift barrier of his hair once more.

"You're wrong. We all need help sometimes. What is it you want that you can't even say it?"

Demyx turned then, striding back with confidence, his eyes lit with determination. #

Zexion backed up slowly, not knowing how to answer.

"Stop right there, I would never hurt you Zexy, I like you. Where friends – right?" His return to that ridiculous nickname made Zexion pause in his tracks. Demyx didn't appear to be angry anymore, but his eyes where clouded in confusion and sadness, his voice laced with questions that Zexion just couldn't answer.

Demyx stopped mere centimetres from Zexion, stretching out one tanned hand.

Zexion could feel his body start to shake as he held completely still; he would not run again. He could do this.

Demyx's hand didn't come to rest on his shoulder or arm as he had done before; his fingers reached higher, slipping into the soft bangs that were brushing his cheek. He rubbed the hair gently through his fingers, "Hmm... soft like silk."

Zexion could feel his heart trip hammering in his chest, but those beautiful hands didn't move any closer, just gently caressed the strands trapped in-between his fingers. He let his eyes drift closed at the slight pull of his fingers playing with those long strands, marvelling in the sensation that was so new to him.

Zexion's eyes opened again to find Demyx that little bit closer, his eyes widened in fear as his stomach roiled in protest. Zexion watched as Demyx smiled, and the thud in his chest shifted, softened and felt much more soothing than the rapid staccato rhythm of fear that it had replaced. The discomfort was melting away under that gentle stare. Zexion returned that soft gaze with a small smile, a flush stealing across his heated skin.

Demyx's fingers slipped through the satiny strands and curled gently behind his ear, tucking it back, before withdrawing, brushing the tip of his ear and sending a shock straight through Zexion's system. But it wasn't lit with the pain and nausea that had nearly incapacitated him in the past; it was filled with warmth and a gentleness he didn't understand. Zexion had not that kind of touch for many years.

His heart squeezed in his chest as Demyx gestured that Zexion walk with him; he waved the writer to the left of him, making him walk with his feet in the water.

Zexion's body thrilled with the idea of putting his feet into the cool liquid he had been longing for all day.

"You can paddle right? You won't get to wet that way."

Zexion turned uncertain eyes on the blond haired musician, not really verbalising the question he wanted to ask, "Hmm... ?"

How did he know?

Demyx chuckled at him and he felt the constriction around his heart loosen at the melodious sound.

"You've been looking at it all day and it'll be time to go soon." Demyx started walking down the beach again and Zexion slipped his feet into his longer stride, easily catching up to the sedate pace as he stepped to Demyx's side, the cold water licking at his ankles, sending a shiver straight up Zexion's spine.

"S'cold. How did you go swimming in that?" His question was punctuated by a sudden shiver from the cool temperature of the water. He liked the feel of the smooth wave's rolling lazily across his bare feet as they sank into the soft sand, chill and all.

"I've been doing it for years. I used to live near here and I came to the beach almost every day."

Zexion knew that Demyx loved this place just by the warmth that edged into his voice, he had missed it. It pleased him to know that the musician had brought him to a place he liked so much.

Zexion's hands swung gently by his sides as he walked through the surf, "I like it here too," was his quietly whispered reply. His reward was a dazzling smile that lit up Demyx's entire face. He couldn't have held hold in his own smile at that pleased expression.

They walked on after that, quiet and contemplative, Zexion watched him now and again, seeing a contented look spread across his features.

Zexion stuffed up all the feelings that were roiling in his belly and moved his hand just slightly, enough so that every now and then his covered fingers brushed against Demyx's slender ones.

Axel was right; he wanted this enthusiastic, music loving person to be his friend. He hated to admit that he enjoyed his company far more than many others that he associated with in the past.

Zexion was very aware of the issue he had and that wishing it away wouldn't solve it, but it wouldn't stop him from trying to make friends with Demyx. If he could manage to get to the comfortable stage he had with Axel, then it would be enough for him. Zexion just hoped it would be enough for the curious blond, because friend or not Zexion would not be pushed into anything he did not want.

Pushing those thoughts away Zexion brushed his covered fingers against Demyx's again, enjoying the sensation of comfort that it brought with it. HE looked up at the taller man and watched the dying rays of the sun filter through shining gold filaments and across gentle features, warm eyes staring back at his avid gaze. "Friends?"

"Yes."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Zexion walked out of the house, glaring up at the darkening sky as he tugged on his long leather coat, trying to keep a grip on the letter he had clasped in one hand. If today wasn't going to be sad enough - it was going to rain on him too he thought bitterly - how was that for karma?

He headed across the street, making his way over to the house situated directly across from his own – it always appeared so much brighter – more alive somehow than his own. Zexion knew that it was because of the family that lived inside it. They were lively if Demyx and Roxas were anything to go by and it was clear that they cared for eachother very much.

In comparison, he turned to look back at his own house frozen in the middle of the street; it was dull and lifeless, staring back at him with its dark windows. The building was an empty husk that had once held so much light for him. It had been dead for years. He shook away the melancholy thoughts, knowing it was the partially the effect of the day and some of his own repressed emotions. Not that he'd admit such a thing.

Demyx had asked if he would come over today, hinting that there was someone he was eager for Zexion to meet. It would appear that someone very special to the musician was coming to visit for the first time since they had moved, Zexion had seen the way his eyes had lit up with excitement when he talked about it and it stirred a mix of pleasure and jealousy inside him.

Demyx had refused to tell him who was coming to visit he and his family - saying it was a surprise.

Zexion let out a quite huff, remembering how the easily excitably blond had been oddly absent from his life this past week. Demyx had left an ache in his chest at his absence, something that he himself couldn't explain. The musician had said he was making preparations and catching up with work from his course, just so he could spend as much time with his guests as possible. The memory, as it had then, sent the stirrings of disquiet through Zexion, it set off that twisting and churning sensation he usually only associated with unwanted touch.

He reached a hand up, tucking the loose strands of his silvery blue hair behind his ear, letting his gaze roam over the quiet street. It was still fairly early and Saturday to, so most of the usual morning traffic was absent. He had left the house at this time so that he could make his way across the city before the traffic got to its chaotic peak. Zexion hated being out in the city during the day, there were so many more people to avoid. In a way it was a good thing that the weather was finally shifting into its autumn phase, it would mean less people out on the streets. Zexion would be able to travel around a lot more freely, though he didn't appreciate the cold much.

He eyed the dark clouds overhead, as they slowly scudded across the sky, assessing them silently. There would be rain in a few hours time. Leaving him just enough time to reach his destination – but there was somewhere Zexion needed to stop off at first. He had been meaning to tell Demyx that he wouldn't be able to make it to whatever plans the musician had made for the day He had realised, after Demyx had left from their typical Sunday evening chat, that he wouldn't be able to as he had a prior, long standing, engagement.

Unfortunately, the blond hadn't been by all week, which Zexion had assumed was related to due to his own preparations for his upcoming guests. Zexion had never felt comfortable intruding on someone else's time – hence why he had never taken the opportunity to cross the road that separated them, to speak with Demyx at home in that time. Though they had grown somewhat closer over the latter end of the summer, after our trip to the beach, he still had trouble when Demyx surprised him with his need for touch. The musician had never tried to touch Zexion's pale skin, only areas were his cloth's created a natural barrier or the silvery bangs that hung across one side of his face. Demyx seemed to be fascinated by the silky texture and the unusual colour.

But even then Zexion found himself withdrawing, he had been trying to create the comfortable atmosphere he had with Axel and a few others – but there was something about Demyx that stirred him far more deeply.

The feelings that had started making erratic appearances after he had first met the blond were still bubbling up unexpectedly and uncontrollably. Zexion had been finding, in some circumstances, that it was increasingly difficult to look Demyx in the eye. Zexion kept getting a strange, but familiar, feeling of twisting in his gut at the sight of those brilliant ocean blue orbs; something he hadn't experience when not being touched before.

Zexion could feel his cheeks warming at the thought and tried desperately to will away the heat colouring his face. He turned back around to approach Demyx's house, intent on delivering his note without waking the residents, as it was seven in the morning.

What he noticed as he approached was that there was movement at the entrance way that he hadn't been expecting. As he came up to the gate Zexion froze in place – his whole body rigid with tension, fist crushing the letter that he had intended to deliver. Demyx stood with his arms comfortably curled around a smaller male – spiky brown hair with brightly coloured clothes registered on his retinas, as he noticed that the brunets arms were wrapped securely around the musicians.

Zexion felt himself blink, standing there for only a few moments as he took in the two men holding eachother so intimately – so that is what Demyx had been keeping a secret. Zexion felt his heart twist in agony inside his chest, breath catching as the pain radiated out and his stomach tried to revolt. He started to turn away when he heard a new voice, one he had never heard before, "Hi – Demyx I think this is your friend right?"

Zexion caught a glimpse of silvery locks and a serious looking face on the edge of his vision before he turned away, feet carrying him swiftly down the street, his coat billowing in the wind. His letter left crumpled by the gate.

Demyx turned from the young brunet clutching him tightly around the waist and looked up into teal coloured eyes, "What's that Riku?"

He could see the silver haired young man was looking a little perturbed by the way the youngest member of their little group was clinging to him, even if his stoic features could rival Cloud's.

"I said, isn't that one of your friends?" Demyx watched as those bright teal eyes stared over his shoulder, looking out at the street. But when he turned awkwardly on the spot as he was still in the midst of being hugged to death, there was no one there. Demyx looked back at the young man blocking the doorway with a frown and he could see that Riku looked a little confused.

The pale haired man strode down the steps from the front door, along the path and around the two men hogging the pavement and down to the gate.

"There's no one there Riku. Who would be up at this ungodly hour – it's Saturday." Demyx was beginning to think the silver haired youth had been seeing things as he went to follow him over to the gate, trying to walk ineffectively.

"Hey uhm... Sora could you please let go – I missed you too, but I can't walk." He looked down, brushing rumpled chocolate bangs from the younger man's face, as Sora squeezed him tightly before letting go completely.

"Sorry Demy – what are we looking at anyway?" Sora was smiling when deep cerulean pools looked back up at him. Demyx couldn't help but to smile at him; he was everything light and happy in comparison to the rest of them.

"Nahh... s'alright, Riku said he saw someone at the gate. It wasn't the postman was it?"

Riku looked back over his shoulder at Demyx with his eyes fixed in a formidable glare – though he had nothing on his Zexy. He let his eyebrow lift to show his thoughts on Riku's scowl, but shrugged it off amicably. Demyx walked over to lean against on the gate, looking up and down the street. His eyes were drawn to the dark windows of Zexion's house, knowing he would be working for a few hours this morning before he came to visit for the first time. Demyx could feel the swell of butterflies tickling inside his stomach at the thought, hoping he would like Demyx's house.

"There's nobody here Ri." Sora's voice cut through the quiet and the two taller men both turned to shush the noisy young man.

"Shhhh... people are sleeping. Leon and Cloud got back late last night from a job." Demyx watched Sora's eyes dull and his shoulders sag and felt his heart melt. There was only one person who was unaffected by that look and he stood right next to Demyx.

"Sora - you know it's early, you've got to be quiet. You wouldn't like it if I woke you up at..." the silver haired male looked at his watch, "...seven in the morning."

Demyx watched as Sora's head shook in response to Riku's words. He lent his back against the gate as Riku moved over to the sulking brunet, sweeping him into a tight hug. Demyx felt his heart squeeze at the sweet sight, especially when Sora pushed up and planted a tender kiss to the underside of Riku's jaw before cuddling further against him. For the first time in the week Demyx had been anticipating their arrival, he felt the first stirrings of jealous annoyance that seemed to be his constant companion.

Demyx wanted what they had together, why was it that all his family had found that special someone – a partner, a pair and he was left with no one. An image of Zexion popped into his mind at that instant, soft smiles, sincere words and Demyx couldn't deny the man was unbelievable sexy – even with his penitent for baggy clothes.

He turned to stare back out at the house that the writer was likely just waking up in and Demyx wanted so desperately to go over to see him. He had missed him fiercely over this last week. Demyx's heart warmed at the thought of him, but it also felt torn around the edges at the memory of Zexion pulling away from him whenever he had tried to touch him.

Demyx had hoped after the beach that they could try to get closer, he wanted what the writer had with Axel. He wanted to be able to touch Zexion without the fear and the pain that stabbed at his heart whenever the other man pulled away. He had never craved touch as much as he did with Zexion and that he couldn't touch him was ripping his heart to pieces. It was so rare, even now for Demyx to reach out, and just tug on Zexion's sleeve or just brush those silky soft bangs from his face so he could look at him.

Demyx craved everything Zexion, the feelings that were deep in his heart were in turmoil. He wanted the writer more than anything else and he knew that this was the beginning of what Axel and Roxas and countless others felt for each other. But all he was getting from the reserved man was this pain that he could feel, constantly gnawing at his heart.

Demyx looked away from the dark building with the green door, composing his face as best he could so that Sora and Riku wouldn't see the tension in his features.

When his eyes raked the ground as he pivoted slowly around he caught sight of the corner of something stark and white pressing against the bottom of the gate. Demyx turned back, leaning over to look down at the base of the wrought iron structure, seeing what looked to be a crumpled piece of paper. He unlatched the gate, walking around it into the street and bent down so his weight rested on one knee, picking up the crushed paper carefully in his hands. He gingerly unfolded the crumpled sheet, eyes catching on his own name scrawled on the front in elegant script that he knew very well.

Demyx unfolded the paper, to see more of that delicate script traversing across the otherwise blank page:

_Demyx,_

_I won't be able to come over today as I have a previous engagement that cannot be cancelled. I had not seen you to explain this previously and had not remembered until after you left last Sunday eve. Please enjoy the company of your guests._

_Sincerely._

_Zexion._

Demyx reread the note and scowled at the paper. Zexion had known he had been looking forward to introducing him to the people who were coming to visit! Plus he hadn't had the decency to let him know earlier that he couldn't meet up with him today. On top of that Demyx had been looking forward to spending some time with Zexion. He stood there quietly for a few minutes, oblivious to Sora and Riku coming up on either side of him to look at the note he held.

Sora was the first to speak, "Wow that's...very formal, but so beautiful written." Demyx felt a flutter of pride at the compliment but the formality of the writer's words upset him – they had agreed to be friends dammit.

When Riku spoke he turned to the younger male, "Why's it out here and not in the letter box?" Riku turned to him then, teal eyes searching as he spoke again, "What does this Zexion look like?" Demyx felt his heart thud inside his chest, was it Zexy who had been standing at the gate.

"He's ...well he's about Sora's height comes to just under my chin, he usually wears dark baggy clothes but they suit him in a quirky way. He's never far from a book, even carrying one around with him when he goes out. He has silvery blue hair, it's really shiny and soft looking, but it has a tendency to fall across his right eye and his eyes are deep, a dark stormy grey." Demyx felt himself flush at the detailed description and saw Riku giving Sora a soft smile that he wouldn't have expected from the other man.

"I'd say that was him, though the coat he was wearing wasn't baggy – it was rigid leather that looked like it would mould to him."

Demyx felt his cheeks heat further at the images that shot through his mind of Zexion wearing something that would hug the lean frame Demyx knew was hidden under the writer's baggy garments. He could hear the other two laughing at him and Demyx couldn't help but smile sheepishly at them, rubbing his hand along the nape of his neck.

He stood for a few minutes, thinking and realised that Zexion had seen him holding Sora.

Now this may not be a big deal, but Demyx could only hope that Zexion hadn't gotten the wrong impression. What was worse was the feeling in his gut that Zexion, being the way he was, would have thought the worse – which would explain his sudden disappearance.

"Aww... shit. Guys, I need to go."

00-00-00

Demyx spent the whole day searching for the elusive writer; starting in all the places he had visited Zexion at before. The library was his first stop – but they had explained that he had taken the day off today.

He enquired if Zexion had mentioned where he was going, but to no avail – although they did say that Zexion had never taken any other day off before, except this one. Though this drew Demyx's interest, knowing how hard Zexion worked he couldn't stop his search. Demyx visited the University grounds, looking in the lecture halls, labs were other people he knew might be and finding nothing – even the onsite library was practically empty.

He'd never been on campus on a Saturday before and it was odd how the place had changed overnight, the usually bustling crowds of students were absent, the buildings looming in the growing darkness. Demyx looked up at the hovering clouds knowing it was going to rain and soon. It set his feet moving once again, headed back towards the town and hopefully Zexion.

The rain started just after noon and Demyx just kept going, the temperature dropped and he was soaked through from his thin black and grey striped top to his navy converses, but he couldn't bear to halt his search. Demyx couldn't shake the feeling in his heart that something was wrong.

He spent the day racking his brains and contacting anyone he could think of who could tell him where to find Zexion– but no one knew.

Demyx was in the supermarket Zexion always used when his phone rang.

He picked up somewhat reluctantly, knowing the voice he would hear on the other end of the line. "Hi Leon."

"Demyx – I take it you haven't discovered his whereabouts yet?"

Demyx listened to the deep voice coming from his cell phone with apprehension. He knew that if it was Leon calling Cloud was concerned about him, but he needed to find Zexion. Demyx couldn't shake this unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach that had been growing steadily worse as the day wore on.

"No." Demyx would never lie to his family but he wished that he had something he could tell them other than that.

"You should come home. You have no clue where he's gone and he will come home eventually. I'll bet you haven't eaten anything - have you?"

Demyx felt a little better for Leon's more logical idea; he had been haring around all day looking for Zexion when he knew he would come home. Although, he didn't think he could have stood around waiting for the writer to do so.

Demyx was a man of action after all.

"Hn... no. I just...I need to find him Leon. Something feels wrong and I think he got the wrong idea about me and Sora." Demyx freely admitted his fears to Leon, knowing the older man would never laugh or judge him for them. He had been through a few interesting hiccups with Cloud when they had first gotten together and the brunet took friends, and family, very seriously.

"Why would he get the wrong impression about you and Sora? Sora's been with Riku for months, they were friends for years before that." Demyx could hear Leon's confusion at his odd comment and he could feel heat rising in his cheeks.

"He saw me hugging him when he came to drop off a note this morning – but didn't stick around long enough to talk to me. That and I never told him who was coming to visit, just that ... it was someone special." Demyx could hear the sigh escaping at the other end of the line and he knew he'd screwed up.

It was pretty obvious that Zexion's disposition towards people and feelings was pretty skewed, he never pushes, never questions. If you were hugging someone they were either family or you partner – it was all black and white to him.

It frustrated Demyx the way Zexion thought of things – he was a very touchy person, Demyx loved to hug others and would have happily held the smaller man in his arms, but he didn't understand that. It didn't help that Zexion had a very obvious aversion to touch.

"Alright – you need to come home and wait for him. There's no point in running around in this weather searching – you're already soaked, and yes I know you don't care, but we have to care for you when you get sick." The brunet was being firm but kind and Demyx knew it.

He turned looking around the empty streets slick with rain, "I'm on my way now."

"Thank you." With those final words Leon was gone and Demyx was left standing in the rain.

He was drenched through, his clothes plastered to his skin, fine tremors rippling through his body as the air grew chilled, his usually spiky hair plastered to his face as Demyx turned his head up to look at the roiling clouds, letting the fine raindrops beat against his skin.

"Where are you Zexy?" His thoughts were in turmoil as he started the long walk home.

00-00-00

Zexion walked at a steady lope through the town centre, heading to the other side; his mind was oddly blank as the sick feeling in his stomach grew increasingly worse as he passed the few early risers and opening stores.

He couldn't really remember faces or buildings, just the foggy haze his mind was trapped in. Zexion had seen him, arms holding someone else and it was all that would stick in his mind.

All thoughts of what today was – what it meant to him seemed lost.

It took forty minutes to make this walk; he had no idea how much time had passed or when he had arrived. The pain in his chest reminded Zexion of that day all those years ago and it was strangely appropriate that it was happening today. When Zexion regained enough senses to look around him he couldn't mistake the looming stones or the dark towering trees that were littered around the churchyard. He had, without realising, navigated his way through the town and all its traffic out to his destination – The Hallow's.

This place was the last graveyard on the outskirts of town before you hit bare countryside for miles on end. He had liked this place when he was younger and the same could be said now. Zexion trailed his way through the maze of headstones and trees to the plot he was searching for. He sat down at the base of the pale granite, knowing every ridge etched into the stone before him.

_In memory of_

_Kira Nomura_

_Beloved son and brother._

_DOB: 6th September 1992_

_DOD: 6th September 1999_

_Forever missed._

Zexion pushed all the other thoughts and feelings that were fogging his mind back, the determination and resolve he had built over the years allowing him some measure of control over his mind. He did not want to think about _him_, he was here for another reason.

Zexion slowly undid the zipper of his coat, pulling the garment from his body and folding it neatly beside him. He rolled up the long sleeves of his grey shirt up, so they no longer covered his hands, baring them to the air. With reverent fingers Zexion touched the shiny granite stone, tracing the very tips across each letter as he had done every time he came here.

A tradition he had started very early on in his life.

Zexion looked down at his lap to find that even though his mind had been elsewhere he had picked up a solitary daisy from one of the early opening florists on his way here. He gave the barest smile at the solitary flower, before whispering to the silent stone, "I'm glad I managed to get something right today."

He carefully lowered the long stemmed flower to the foot of the stone carefully before turning his eyes up to focus on the silent epitaph. Zexion shifted his posture, sitting rigidly straight, hands formally placed on his knees before bowing deeply and saying in quiet words, "Happy Birthday, baby brother."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Zexion sat quietly by his brother's graveside for an hour or more, silently remembering him and all the memories of him that he tried hard to suppress the rest of the year around. His heartfelt heavy inside his chest, eight years worth of repressed memories flitting through his mind at break neck speed.

Zexion managed to keep a lid on that last memory and the ones that followed it. He knew he was trying to suppress everything that had happened this morning and he was mildly successful, and yet the idiot musician still managed to slip in every now and then.

After an hour sitting there he rose stiffly to his feet, leg's having gone numb fro there folded position on the grass. He left his coat where he had neatly folded it beside the head stone, taking the short walk to the small shed that was left open for visitors.

Inside the dark confines of the small wooden building where just a few cleaning supplies and the water tap. Zexion filled a small bucket, grabbing soap and a stiff bristle brush and slowly walked back to his brother's plot, he didn't pay any attention to the graves around him, eyes focused on his destination. He knew in the back of his mind that the cemetery was very nice, filled with long swathes of green grass and tall yew trees surrounding the small church at its heart – but he didn't see any of it.

Zexion settled beside the dark stone once again, taking in the slightly greenish coating it had picked up from the Wisteria tree that loomed a few plots over. He set to cleaning the granite with firm, meticulous strokes, letting his mind get lost in the rhythm as he tried to banish a certain blond from his thoughts – today wasn't about him.

His arms grew tired as he scrubbed at the stone vigorously, attempting to push the feelings that were brewing in his gut out through the hard work he was doing. But as he looked down at the now pristine black stone he knew there were no distractions left.

Zexion let out a deep sigh, quietly whispering to Kira as he always did when he made my solitary visit, once a year to this place, "I'm sorry little brother, it seems I can't concentrate as I should." The words were soft, affectionate, something he never let out around anyone else and yet he had come to realise that he had been softening around one certain man.

Zexion felt his chest constrict at that thought, he could feel his emotions trying to unravel as they had on the way here this morning and only his iron control had saved him. But being here, maybe it was alright, today was a day of remembering and the emotions Zexion had done his best to repress for so many years were a kind of memory. He sat quietly, fists clenched on his folded knees, and, as he slowly let the grip he had on his heart ease he watched in a daze as a flood of images cascaded through his mind.

The first were ones of his brother, he was such a happy child, bubbly, outgoing - nothing like him. Kira had made him smile and follow along with his childish games, he had adored him. They had played together all the time and Zexion had always helped him with his school work - until that day.

Zexion clenched fists tight, gripping firmly to his loose black trousers as he tried desperately not to think about that day, forcibly turning his mind to face a different direction. But that way was just as painful.

Demyx was everywhere, he had invaded Zexion's life and his thoughts so thoroughly that in each image that flitted into being in his mind he was there, and he had pulled others in too. He had drawn in Axel, Roxas, Marluxia and Vexen from his science class too. He attracted people to him; the silly, playful musician had gotten the two males together which had made Zexion oddly happy.

The pair where impossible, they had obviously liked each other for what had seemed like forever, but they never knew what to do with each other. Marluxia was obstinate and bossy and Vexen had a one track mind when it came to his experiments, and yet, Demyx had managed it. He slowly drew the two into working on something together and then, having to spend time together on it outside of class had given them the impetus to venture into something new in their relationship.

Zexion remembered seeing the pair in class one day – though their attention was directed at the lecture, as he had passed behind them he had noticed that their hands twined together under the table. He had felt something both pleasant and painful in him then, an ache in his heart and a longing so deep it hurt – to see how easily they touched each other.

Zexion had never really looked at people together before, so busy trying to be alone and distancing himself from all the things that could hurt him. He had made himself cold. Zexion had never truly known what he was missing out on until he had looked around him at all the friends and couples spending time together, how much of that time was spent touching – reaffirming bonds.

He was jealous.

Zexion had brought it on himself. It wasn't until this morning – seeing Demyx wrapped around another man - that he'd taken note of his own preference for men, and how he felt about the musician. He could feel something stabbing through his chest at the memory that surfaced; the soft smile the two men had shared and the obvious affection between them.

Zexion had never truly felt lonely until that moment. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, clutching at his waist as he gasped at the pain that was gnawing its way through him. His breath hitched in his throat as he felt the hot sting of impending tears burn the backs of his eyes. He tried to squeeze them shut to stop them from falling, he couldn't cry, the loss of the control he had rigidly enforced over the years would shatter him. It had been the only thing that was a true constant i his life and now it was wavering like a candles flame in the wind.

Yet even as he thought it he felt the heat of the salty moisture trailing down his cheeks, as quiet whimpers squeezed past the painful lump in his throat. God this hurt – how could he have been so foolish as to let Demyx in, to let him do this to him? "I don't want this... I can't...oh God..." The pain of the gasping sobs that were wrenched from his chest had him pressing close against his brothers headstone for support, he cradled his stomach with his arms, "I don't want this...please...Kira."

Zexion sat rocking, pressed against the cold stone for what felt like forever, as the painful sobs eased and the tears dried up. The first drops of rain started to fall and Zexion turned tear reddend eyes up to the sky, seeing the clouds churning overhead, dark and forbidding. They seemed to reflect his mood. Where the deep gut wrenching pain of realisation had been, there was now only emptiness. He felt hollow, wrung out, and even if it hurt, he wanted to be with Demyx. He was the only person Zexion knew who could ease this ache in his chest, who could make him feel lighter.

He struggled to his feet, brushing the fingertips of one hand against the headstone as he retrieved his coat. "I miss you Kira...and thank you." Zexion leant in and placed the lightest brush of lips to the top of the stone, feeling the rain soaking into his clothes as it started to pour down. Zexion could feel the tiny droplets trickling across his skin and it was a truly wonderful sensation. Almost like the way he imagined the brush of fingertips would feel like, if they didn't cause him so much pain and nausea.

Zexion didn't put his coat on, hanging it neatly over his arm as he gathered the empty bucket, brush and soap to return it to the shed. He took one last look at his brother's marker, eyes trailing across the familiar script and the daisy he had left, that lay starkly bright in contrast to the dark stone. "I'll come again soon. Good bye, Kira."

00-00-00

It was late afternoon by the time Zexion turned onto their street; he had made a few stops along the way for some groceries that he hadn't been in the right state of mind to purchase that morning. He was completely drenched, yet he still hadn't donned his coat, even when the rain had pelted down a few hours ago and people had given him curious looks. Zexion knew he was paying for it already. His skin felt clammy and warm to the touch, his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool – he'd been fighting off the dizzy spells he had been experiencing since about thirty minutes ago.

Zexion just wanted to get home; he could deal with everything else once he got there. He needed to eat and then soak in a hot bath, he would have to curl up in his blankets for warmth, as the heating had broken and he couldn't afford to get it fixed right now.

As he walked up the road his body started to feel heavier and heavier, the bag of food in his left hand felt like it had doubled in weight from five minutes ago, his head was throbbing. Zexion stopped to lean on a neighbour's wall for a moment before reluctantly shifting all his weight back onto his feet once more, making the last few metres to his house in slow, measured steps.

He rummaged in his pockets for the keys, wincing when they came free of the cloth with a loud jangle that made him wince in response as he head gave a rather nasty throb. The continuous jingle as he fitted the key into the lock set his teeth on edge as his head throbbed in cadence with it. He turned the key and the door shot open under his weight and he didn't have the speed or the presence of mind to brake his fall. He landed hard on the wooden floor of the hallway; his knees impacting with the solid boards eliciting a strangled sound from his throat as the pain shot straight through him.

The rest of his body followed, sprawling out on the floor, unable to summon the energy to get up again. Zexion's eyes wandered absently to the bag of groceries that he had dropped unceremoniously on the floor, seeing some of the apples rolling to a stop beside him. "Hmm... I'm always dropping fruit huh...," a quiet chuckle left his lips as he closed his eyes, they felt so heavy and it was so nice and dark. Zexion didn't even feel himself slipp into unconsciousness.

00-00-00

Demyx sat in the window of the living room and, as much as he tried to concentrate on the game they were playing to pass the time that they were stuck inside because of the rain, he couldn't draw his gaze away from Zexion's house. He guessed that he was hoping he would see a light turn on inside so he could go over and explain everything – but it had remained dark for the past three hours he had been home. He could only see the upper windows as their house was slightly raised and the garden was surrounded by shrubbery, obscuring his view of the lower floor.

Worry had been churning away in his stomach since he abandoned the search to return home, and though Cloud had made him some food to eat he had hardly touched it, finding himself moving it around on the plate instead in an attempt to feign some interest in it. Cloud had sighed and given him one of his frustrated looks and then gone to find Leon.

Demyx thought he was just concerned for him – Cloud didn't like it when he wouldn't eat, it reminded him to much of years past. He didn't want to concern his family but he couldn't get past the feeling that something was wrong, and that he desperately needed to see Zexion to fix it.

He sat with the others for a little longer but that feeling wouldn't leave so he excused himself, heading upstairs to his room to get his sitar. So much had been going on this last week that he had barely touched his beloved instrument. As he carefully cradled the sinuous lines of the instrument in his hands, gently caressing the strings as he began to play he felt something coming to him, a sooth rhythm, with a defined beat. As Demyx sat and let his mind wander, his fingers lazily stroking the strings he felt the piece coming together. He let his eyes drift closed and got swept up in the lilting tune of the song.

Demyx don't know how long he sat there playing in his room, but when he felt the song had drawn to a close and his eyes fluttered open he found his young cousin standing in the doorway to his room. As Demyx looked up at him he felt his heart clench at the awed sadness in lazuli pools. Sora stood there silently for long minutes before walking across the room to him, raising warm palms to his cheeks and pressing his forehead to Demyx's. Sora's words were quiet, reverent almost, "You must love him very much."

Demyx let his eyes fall closed at those softly spoken words, knowing the pain that always seemed to come with the knowledge that he was falling for Zexion, but knowing that the slate haired man didn't feel the same.

He felt tears gathering at the corners of his eyes but he was unwilling to let them fall, squeezing them shut tight. Demyx felt a light tap on his nose and it shocked him into opening his eyes, staring straight into the summer sky.

"Don't do that."

It was so strange for Sora to be so serious and, from looking in his eyes; he knew that something in the care free boy he had known had changed. Sora had faced something in this last year that Demyx wasn't aware of and he had grown up.

The smaller brunet gave him a tender smile at his surprised expression, "I'll tell you about it some other time – maybe when you get back."

Demyx raised a brow at the odd statement, "Going...where exactly?"

That was when the sunny grin he had missed slipped across Sora's lips, "To go see Zexion."

He scrunched his forehead into a frown at Sora's response, "He's not home."

"Well maybe you should be there when he gets there, hmm..." Sora's words were pretty convincing and the churning in Demyx's gut came back full force. But he was still apprehensive – he wanted to wait for Zexion to arrive, not accost him on his doorstep.

"I don't know..." Demyx's words were stilted; he didn't know which way to turn. That's when he heard another voice breaking into the quiet moment they were sharing.

"You love him don't you? He needs you now. You should go."

Demyx slipped from Sora's fingers and peeked over his shoulder at the sound of a familiar voice, it was deep and warmer than he remembered it ever being. Demyx stared into aqua blue eyes tucked behind silver bangs, when he spoke again, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips as he looked between him and the Sora, "You know where you should be."

He felt a wash of warmth spread through him, a grin tipped his lips at this unusual show of affection, "Yes – I do."

Demyx gave Sora and Riku a warm smile that he hadn't felt cross his lips for weeks. He set his sitar back in its stand next to his bed and got up; ruffling Sora's soft chocolate covered spikes. "Thanks guys."

He strode to the door from there, grabbing a coat off the rack that stood beside it. As he slipped past Riku, who stood in the doorway, he placed a hand on his shoulder, looked down at him, whispering with a cheeky grin on his lips, "Now no hanky panky in my bed, ne?"

Demyx ducked out of the way of the fist that he knew would be heading his way, catching sight of the flush he had caused on the pale man's face. He gave Riku a wink as he started down the stairs, hearing Sora pestering Riku about what Demyx had said to him to cause that reaction.

He walked past the kitchen, listening to the radio playing, knowing that Leon and Cloud were starting preparations for dinner. Demyx called back over his shoulder as he slipped into his shoes, saying that he was popping out and would be back for dinner. He slipped quickly out the front door before Cloud could protest.

Demyx stood facing Zexion's house silently. The building looked rather dark in contrast to his own home. Why had he never noticed that before? He turned his face up at the deep rumble that sounded overhead, thunder emanating from the dark boiling clouds. He could only hope that Zexion didn't get stuck out in this weather. The writer always seemed so much smaller then he was – almost fragile.

Demyx started walking across the street, checking the road both ways before crossing, not wanting to be run over. As he walked steadily forward he eyed the front door, noticing for the first time that something didn't look quite right. His heart picked up its pace, as his stomach clenched tightly, his legs picking up speed. The door...it was open what... Zexion would never leave the door open. He ran full tilt towards the forbidding house, racing up the low wooden steps and clattering across the porch.

He stood frozen in the doorway, trying to see in the dim light. Demyx found himself staring down at someone sprawled out just inside the doorway; dark jeans and a pale long sleeved shirt were soaking wet, water beading on the floor in large puddles, what looked to be baggy clothes sticking to their slender frame. It was topped off by a mop of hair that he couldn't see the colour of in the dark.

Demyx carefully placed his feet as he manoeuvred around the sprawled form, getting his first glimpse of the inside of the writer's home. He couldn't bring himself to care. Demyx's gut felt like it was scrunched up tight with nerves and squirming with tension all at once, as he carefully settled himself at the person's head. He reached out, shifting the drenched locks from their face to take in those familiar angular features. Demyx leant in, speaking with a slight stutter, "Zex-Zexion... wake...up. Please."

Demyx felt his concern trying to overwhelm him and he had the deepest compulsion to lift the prone male into his arms. He took hold of Zexion's shoulders, giving them a firm shake as he kept saying his name. When he received no response, he slowly checked Zexion's neck for injuries, feeling slightly guilty for touching him when he wasn't awake to tell him not to.

Demyx slowly shifted Zexion over when he found no discernable breaks in his neck, easing him onto his back. He looked so pale in the wan light, his clothes sticking to him – he was soaked through. Demyx pressed his forehead against Zexion's to check his temperature, his body running on auto pilot. He found the skin under his own was clammy and unbearably hot.

He let out the breath he had been holding, watching as his fingers brushed at the damp strands of the writer's hair trembling fiercely. What was he going to do? Demyx wouldn't leave him here unconscious.

Demyx sat for a few minutes absorbing the scene before making his decision, he shifted along Zexion's side and carefully threaded his right arm under his shoulders, pressing his face into his throat so he wouldn't hurt it unintentionally, then looped his other arm under Zexion's knees.

Demyx took a deep breath and shifted upwards in one fluid motion, settling his weight back on his own two feet once more. He had expected Zexion to be far heavier than he actually was – Demyx had thought before that the writer was under weight and this just proved the fact. It should have been a strain to lift his dead weight, and instead Demyx barely felt the strain at all. He nestled the pale man closer to him, moving back out through the front door, knocking it and hearing the jangle of keys as he headed out, quickly moving down the steps and across the road.

When he arrived back at his door he banged on the wood with his foot as he couldn't release his arms for holding onto Zexion. Demyx could only pray someone could hear him. He stood on the doorstep looking down at the writers pale features, seeing the red tint to his cheeks and the tiny beads of sweat rolling down from his temples that he hadn't been able to see in the dark hallway, his grip tightened. Demyx let his face fall to nuzzle his nose into damp silvery strands, just standing there breathing in his scent.

When the door opened Demyx looked into two sets of eyes, one piercing stormy grey the other luminous green. Demyx cuddled the fragile body against him as he spoke and shifted forwards to enter the house, "He's sick."

The pair got out of his way as he manoeuvred through the doorway with his precious burden, heading straight up the stairs to his room with Zexion cradled in his arms. Demyx didn't see the concerned look that the two other males gave each other behind him before Leon headed for the kitchen, yelling for Cloud and Axel trailed him up the stairs.

00-00-00

Axel sat quietly at the desk, working on his laptop on the coursework that was due in a matter of days and as usual he had left it to the last minute. He briefly flicked his gaze over to the bed beside him, watching the steady rise and fall of the covers as Zexion took reassuring breaths, as he slept. He stilled looked flushed but his temperature had gone down somewhat - hopefully that meant he would be awake soon.

Axel turned his viridian gaze back to the computer, trying to focus on his work instead of the next text he was sure to be receiving. Demyx had been sending the blasted things every twenty to thirty minutes and it was driving him up the wall. He didn't know why he had promised to keep an eye on Zexion while Roxas and that blasted musician went to their classes but he was starting to seriously regret it. He gave the phone a heated glare, damn tempted to turn it off. Axel sighed in frustration, knowing that if he did that Demyx would be back within fifteen minutes flat.

Axel got up out of the chair, walking to the bed; he slowly peeled the damp cloth from Zexion's forehead, feeling the damp heat of the wet material on his fingers. He looked down beside the bed as he dipped the cloth into the cool bowl of water on the floor. As he went to replace the cloth against Zexion's flushed skin he noticed his eyelids flickering slightly. He continued pressing the cloth against his forehead, settling down on his haunches to watch – maybe he would wake up?

Axel let his voice go soft and smooth, hoping to coax his friend from sleep, "Zexion...wake up."

The fluttering continued and his breaths grew deeper; the calm even breath's of sleep slowly dissipating. Axel sat watching the pale man coming too, he could hear his phone vibrating on the desk as he received yet another text message from Demyx. Unfortunately he was ignoring that in favour of making sure Zexion didn't freak out when he woke up in a strange place.

He listened as Zexion gave a soft moan, his eyelids slowly rising but remaining at half-mast. He sat quietly as Zexion seemed to absorb his surroundings with drowsy eyes. Axel leant forward slowly so as not to startle the other man, talking quietly once more, "Hey there Zex."

Dark, hazy eyes focused on him, the normal curtain of hair Zexion hid behind was pushed back behind his ear, damp with sweat from the fever. Axel gave him a smile and he nodded silently, when he tried to speak only a croak came out and Axel saw a definite wince slip across his features before it was gone again. He grabbed the glass of water he had on the desk, "Here then, can't have you not speaking, hmmm..." Axel gave him a teasing smile before reaching out for him, "You gonna be able to get up by yourself or do you need a hand?"

Axel saw Zexion struggling to rise in the bed and before he could answer him he carefully and slowly placed an arm behind his shoulders so he could help Zexion rise just enough to sip from the glass he held to his lips. Axel made sure not to touch any skin and let the glass rest lightly against Zexion's lower lip as he sipped cautiously. Zexion leant his head back enough for Axel to know that he'd had enough and Axel helped him back down to rest in the pillows once more. His voice was raspy and quiet, but it was there, "Where am I?"

"You're at Demy's house – he found you out cold on your hallway floor two days ago."

Axel watched the surprise light Zexion's face, followed by his sudden outburst once he'd processed the information. "TWO DAYS!" As he went to jerk upright Axel placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Keep still, you've been sick with fever and you're still running a temperature. So no getting up, Demy would kill me." Axel watched Zexion for a few minutes, his gaze drifting up to the ceiling; he could see the cogs ticking over in his mind.

"I've missed work and my classes – all that work to do."

Axel could see something close to distress crossing Zexion's features which was a rarity. He had shown so much emotion in the last few minutes that Axel was genuinely shocked. Where was the stoic, studious and unemotional guy he'd known before?

Axel registered what Zexion had said and smiled at the response, it was going his turn to surprise Zexion, "Dem's been taking notes from all the guys from your classes and going to work for you – apparently the library workers like him, but think he's a useless librarian."

Axel watched Zexion's eyes open wide as he turned his face back at him, clearly shocked by his words, "He went to...work and got me my notes? But...why would he do that?"

Axel wiped a hand across his face in frustration, "For someone so God damn smart you're really emotionally dumb. I promised Rox I wouldn't interfere but this is ridiculous! You like each other okay... more than that, you want to be in a relationship together. Yet you're both so stupid that you can't admit it to each other. You're so frustrating!" Axel flung up his arms in emphasis of what he was saying.

"I can't do that – he was... this morning. No two days ago, I saw him with someone else." Axel could hear the pain in those words and he really felt for Zexion, if it had been him seeing Roxas in another man's arms he would have seen red.

Axel lent in slowly, hand coming to rest on Zexion's cloth covered shoulder to garner his attention. He spoke softly, as though Zexion was a frightened animal, "But you didn't stick around to find out who that person was. That is so unlike you, jumping to conclusions when you like facts so much. Sora and Riku came to stay for the week – the guy Demyx was hugging was his cousin."

Axel watched with rapt fascination as the writers eyes squeezed shut, he could see his hand clenching in the sheets that lay over him and for the first time Axel heard something coarse slip past those normally clean lips, "Shit. Just damn it all."

Zexion looked so annoyed.

Axel frowned down at the pale man, "What's the matter – I thought you'd be happier?"

"I...I am but... if I'd...stuck around this... wouldn't have happened." He waved his arms dramatically around, which Axel assumed meant the state he was in right now.

"So at least now you know – right?" Axel couldn't help but question, hoping he hadn't completely stuck his foot in it between his two friends. He didn't want what he'd said to push them apart.

Axel watched as the slate haired man looked down at himself, his fingers plucking at one of the sleeves that covered his body. Those stormy grey eyes widened before he looked over at him, "W-who changed...my clothes?"

Axel frowned again, eyebrows drawing down as he answered the stuttered question, "Demy did – in fact he insisted."

"Oh God...no...that...no." The voice that slipped from Zexion's lips Axel didn't recognise, high and desperate. Zexion was frightened.

"Zex what's the matter. There just clothes... what's the problem." He turned terrified eyes on Axel then, his lips clamped closed as he shook his head at him unwilling to speak what he was feeling. Axel wasn't sure what to make of what he was saying or not saying. He looked like he had been shocked into silence as he lay there quietly – bomb blasted look covering his features. When Axel's phone vibrated again he turned away, sliding it open and replying to the barrage of messages he had received in the past twenty minutes. _He's awake._

When Axel turned back Zexion had turned over, his back now facing him and he was curled over, the duvet tugged high up on his back. Axel felt a deep sadness fill him at that way that Zexion had turned inwards, he could do nothing but hope that Demyx could fix whatever it was that had Zexion looking like what he had said was killing him.

Axel whispered quietly to him, "I'm sorry, Zexion."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Zexion couldn't help but curl in on himself, wanting to burrow under the covers and never come back out. Axel had said that Demyx had seen. He was the only person to have touched this body, to have looked at him in so many years. The pain and despair that radiated out of him was unbearable.

This couldn't have been worse.

The walk home had been an odd revelation. Zexion had wanted to be close to the musician and yet he had found himself needing more than just his proximity. He had come to care about the silly man and he knew that he would do anything to be with him. But what could he do now?

Zexion had always hidden himself from others, and now the one person he had been getting steadily closer to had seen him – all of him. He never been ashamed of his body, it was what it was in his mind, but he knew others would find it distressing so he'd taken to covering it up. It also helped with his touch issues. But what he now realised was that he wanted Demyx to like his body and he felt shame for the first time.

Zexion didn't want this – he wanted to get closer to Demyx on his own terms, getting to know him as a person. He knew how much people relied on appearances as a judge of a person but Zexion wanted Demyx to like him for more than what he saw on the outside. Who could love him if they saw him as he truly was?

Though they had talked a lot over the last few weeks it wasn't enough to have revealed this to him yet. There was so much more to say – he wasn't ready for this. Zexion couldn't bear to see pity in those soft sea blue eyes. He knew that he didn't have the strength to get up – but if he could have, he would have hidden away inside his house trying to rebuild the walls that had crumbled from around his heart. He felt so raw – exposed.

Zexion didn't know what to do. And for a man that was always in control of everything – it was terrifying.

He heard Axel's apology from a distance, his mind rioting and retaining most of his attentions. His chest was heaving but he kept lips clamped shut so as not to let any of the distressed sounds he was making escape. He felt nauseous, his stomach churning as he wrapped his arms around it, trying to hold himself together. Zexion felt like he was unravelling.

He glanced up at the flash of brightness from outside and on hearing the deep rumble of thunder from overhead he tried to lose himself in the storm, letting its ferocity consume his thoughts and hopefully ease his mind and body; distracting him enough so that he could think and so he wouldn't have to face anyone.

The window was filled with roiling clouds in the deepest shades of grey, the torrential rain battered against the glass and shook it in its frame. It was as though the storm wanted to get in, to rush through the small opening and turn everything upside down and inside out. It mimicked his tumultuous emotions perfectly. What Zexion wouldn't give to be lost out there once more, body buffeted by the wind and the freezing rain, just so he couldn't think or feel anymore.

Just so he could be anywhere but here.

His eyes shut and Zexion made sure that the warm blankets covering him were tucked up around his neck. He didn't like the chill of the air on his naked nape. It left him feeling exposed and vulnerable, more so than he had been already.

How could he have let this happen? Zexion knew that he shouldn't be hiding under the covers like this. He knew he was behaving like a little kid, but he didn't know what else to do. He didn't know how to deal with everything that was happening, he felt powerless in the face of the emotional storm assaulting him.

He heard the door open and close behind him, the sound of a voice Zexion had been hoping desperately to avoid for just a little longer, "Zexion – how are you feeling?"

It wasn't the familiar Zexy that he had come to expect from those lips, it was rare that the musician actually said his full name, preferring the shortening he had given him early on in their relationship – if he could call it such a thing. But Zexion knew, because Demyx hadn't used the silly nickname that he was being unusually serious.

Zexion couldn't bring himself to answer, tucking further under the covers to hide from that voice and those eyes. He wasn't sure how to react to him anymore – no one had ever gotten this close. Zexion could hear the other man moving around the room, but he automatically scooted further over when he felt a weight settle on the bed behind him.

Zexion could hear exasperation in Demyx's voice when he spoke again, "Would you please talk to me Zexy? I asked if you were alright. For all I know you could have really hurt yourself and we wouldn't have known."

He shook his head, knowing Demyx could see the movement over the top of the covers were the very top of his head stuck out. Zexion wasn't prepared for what the musician did next, all he heard was the sound of a frustrated sigh before the weight was redistributed beside him.

Zexion felt Demyx's body was pressing against his own from behind, the duvet the only thing separating them by a mere few inches and he couldn't understand what Demyx was doing. He felt the other man shifting behind him, getting settled in and he couldn't keep quiet any longer, words bursting forth from his mouth before he gave them consent to do so, confusion was running rife through him, his nerves making his body shiver at the new pressure, "What are you doing!"

He could feel warm breath stirring the hairs exposed above the covers when Demyx responded to his outburst, "I'm cuddling you."

"But...why would you...I don't understand?" Zexion brow furrowed into a deep frown, he just couldn't understand why Demyx was trying to cuddle him, trying to be nice to him, when he knew. Wasn't Demyx feeling at least some of this turmoil inside? Some of this gut wrenching confusion that whirled around and shredded everything that made sense?

Zexion felt something heavy drape across his side, which pulled him out of his mental rant. Looking down Zexion saw a toned arm curling around him, which could only belong to Demyx, the hand grasped the thick duvet in a white knuckled grip.

"You ask why? Hah. I was really worried about you Zexy. I don't think I've ever been so afraid in my life."

Zexion felt his body tremble against his back, his fist clenching tighter onto the fabric. It made his heart squeeze in response as those pained words left Demyx's lips.

Demyx was worried about him?

Zexion couldn't understand why he cared after everything he had seen. His confusion was a palpable thing, suffusing into his words and making him stutter, "But...I..." He had trouble getting the words out, his throat felt thick and clogged with emotion's he didn't have the capacity to categorise at the moment.

When the words finally came out, they seemed to explode outwards on a rush of breath, leaving him panting at the end, "Butwhataboutwhatyousaw!"

Zexion felt his skin heat and he brought a hand up to cover his lips, halting any more words from escaping unbidden, he had never done anything like that before. It was the kind of thing he expected from the man holding him from behind. Zexion had never had this problem when he had been in command of his emotions. After only a few hours of being awake he was turning into a blathering idiot! It was a sobering thought, helping to gie him a little focus in the tumult around him.

Zexion felt the bed tremble and was surprised by a wonderful, rich, warm laughter that bubbled up Demyx's plush lips. He felt warmth seep through his body that had nothing to do with the fever that made his skin damp and sticky. Zexion felt the first brush of fingers gently touching his hair and, though his first instinct was to dart away, he tightened his muscles freezing his body. Zexion fought down the panic that tried to swamp him, biting his lip and trying his best not to wince at the pain it caused. He wasn't sure why but he needed this, though his body was panicking and he could feel his stomach cramping with pent up fear - he wanted Demyx to touch him.

Demyx couldn't help laughing at the way Zexion's sentence just sort of flowed into one long word, it reminded him of a time, not too long ago, when he had asked the writer to go with him to the beach. It had been an interesting day but, in the end, it had become one of his most treasured memories. It was the first time that Zexion had reached out and initiated any kind of physical contact with him. He had been so happy after that.

Demyx held Zexion more tightly, wanting to absorb all the pain the smaller man had been through in his life. He gave him the only reply he could think of, "It doesn't matter."

It was quiet for a time after that and Demyx thought that either he had finally managed to stun the master of words into silence or that he was trying to understand what Demyx had meant. Zexion's voice nothing more than a whisper, but he could hear curiosity edging it, "It has to matter. Why would you say it doesn't?"

He hadn't managed it then.

Demyx would have loved to witness a time when Zexion couldn't find the words to speak, he focused so much on them and Demyx understood that his life had been filled with nothing but words. But he needed to let it go – there was a whole world which Zexion had missed out on for whatever reason and he wanted to show it to him.

Plus it would be a damn special occasion if he ever pulled it off.

Demyx tugged Zexion's body, encased in the thick duvet, closer to his own, knowing he wouldn't have such a prime opportunity to hold the other man again, unless he got sick again – which Demyx hoped never happened.

He leant forward, letting his voice grow soft and quiet, "It doesn't matter because your still you." Demyx felt Zexion rustling under the covers before he found himself face to face with a fever flushed and blushing Zexion. He couldn't help but let the words that bubbled up in his throat out, "Damn you're cute."

Demyx ducked automatically, expecting a similar response to what Roxas would do whenever he let his mouth run away from him. When it didn't come he looked up from under a defensive positioned arm, seeing two dilated stormy grey orbs looking back at him.

Demyx couldn't help but stare at Zexion, the way his cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, his eyes luminous in the dull room and the way his soft looking lips were parted but he wasn't saying anything. He felt his own face flush in response to the beautiful sight; if he hadn't been so averse to touch Demyx would have leant in to that welcoming mouth and given Zexion a tender kiss.

Demyx didn't know what had taken over him, he had been so worried about Zexion and now the writer was looking at him with that puzzled face. He could feel his body wanting to take action, body feeling flush, a distinct stirring in his nether regions.

He denied himself.

Demyx was already pushing Zexion, if he went head long into something else because he needed the sick man with a fierce desperation, then he was bound to do more harm than good. Demyx could only hope that what he was doing wasn't pushing Zexion beyond his reach.

He leant close, whispering to him and attempting to relieve the charged atmosphere, "Hey you'll catch flies like that."

He did get hit for that one.

Zexion's palm made sharp contact with the back of Demyx's head and he winched at the loud clap that followed the motion.

Demyx scowled at Zexion as he rubbed his abused head complaining, "Hey! That was just harsh. You didn't have to hit me Zexy." When Demyx looked down at the bundled up man again he could see Zexion eyeing his palm with a mixture of trepidation and curiosity, the surface was turning a bright ruby red with the force of the impact.

Demyx watched with fascination as Zexion rubbed the stinging surface tenderly with his other hand, his eyes flitting between him and the skin he was cradling close to his chest. His voice was so quiet that Demyx almost didn't catch it, "I... touched anyone like... in years..."

Demyx looked into deep, confused charcoal pools trying to discern if the typically stoic man was alright. The behaviour he was exhibiting so far suggested that something had happened to him and yet Demyx couldn't tell if it was bad or good. He had never seen Zexion behave so rashly before. Demyx curled his arm more firmly around Zexion's duvet bound form once more, drawing him closer but never crossing the boundaries Zexion was keeping in place. Demyx murmured quietly to the startled man, "Hey there – you alright?"

He was met with a confused look, a frown dipping between slim eyebrows, "I don't understand any of this. You... you don't make any sense. I thought..."

Demyx watched as Zexion bit his lip quite hard, turning his gaze down and away from his own searching eyes. Demyx wanted curl his fingers under that pointed chin and raise Zexion's face once more, but he knew as much as he wanted to do that, he couldn't. Demyx couldn't gauge Zexion's reaction to it and therefore it was off-limits. Demyx sighed, he could get away with the light touches to silky grey hair or holding him whilst he was firmly encased in a thick layer of bed linen, but to touch his skin with his bare hands may set them back right to where they had started.

Demyx let his head dip down so he could speak quietly to the writer, "You thought what Zexy?"

He watched as Zexion gnawed on the steadily reddening lip and couldn't help but scold him, he would likely end up hurting himself, "Zexion, stop that, you'll make it bleed. Please just - talk to me."

He pleaded with his eyes, knowing Zexion had a weakness for them. He caught the brief flicker of charcoal orbs looking up at him before they shifted away once more. Demyx feel movement under his arm and watched the cover's rise and fall, giving a small smile at what he recognised as an exasperated sigh. He watched as Zexion released the abused lip from between his worrying teeth his tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth in clear disapproval.

Demyx held in the chuckle, watching the smaller man take a few deep breaths, he hoped he would get Zexion to speak some more and he wasn't disappointed, "I thought that...you'd pity me...that you would... leave. Instead you're laid here, with me...holding me and trying to get me to talk to you."

Zexion shook his head as he spoke, confusion evident i the lines on each side of his mouth.

Demyx could see the thoughts churning in Zexion's mind, ticking and turning like clockwork, fine tuned and meticulous, trying to reason out what all of it meant. When Zexion winced Demyx realised that he was biting on his lip again.

He couldn't stop his hand from moving, tapping a single slender digit against the slate haired male's delicate button nose, flushed slightly pink from fever, as he scolded once more, "Thought I told you to stop that."

Demyx froze in place, stunned at his own actions and praying to whomever would listen that he hadn't pushed Zexion too far. He looked up at him with startled orbs, mouth lightly agape with surprise and all Demyx wanted to do was lean forward and take those lips with his own. Damn his blasted hormones, this wasn't the time for such things, as much as he did want to kiss Zexion.

Demyx's eyes trailed down and focused on those slightly chapped lips, not noticing when Zexion dug his hand out from under the covers.

Zexion could feel his whole body vibrating at the touch of that slightly calloused fingertip against his nose, yet it hadn't brought on the queasiness he was used to feeling. He gaped silently at the other man, uncertain how to react to the touch. Zexion watched in surprise as Demyx's eyes turned a deep sapphire, the lids descending, growing heavy, as though he were falling asleep.

He looked so sensual like that, his eyes drifting slowly across Zexion's face like a slow caress, only to fix low on his face as Zexion closed his mouth, tongue darting out to carefully lick the parched surface. Zexion tried his best not to bite at his tender lips, the way Demyx had scolded him made him feel a odd number of emotions – irritation, cared for but also a tingling sensation on his lips that he couldn't explain.

Zexion felt the oddest urge to tap his own finger against Demyx's nose, just to see his reaction and to gauge his own. He slipped his hand up and out from underneath the warm covers, slowly letting his hand approach the musicians face. He couldn't help but bite at his lip as nerves fluttered in his stomach.

His whole body felt charged, his heart rate picking up to a rapid staccato rhythm, just as he was about to touch the very tip of Demyx's nose his eyes slid shut, clenching tightly and then it was there. Zexion could feel something firm but warm pressed against the pad of his lone outstretched finger.

It was the first time he had initiated contact with someone, skin-to-skin, in many years and yet the feelings he had been expecting didn't swamp him. Zexion had expected pain, nausea, fear and all the things that made his whole body react so vehemently and yet, here he was, almost disappointed that his reaction's weren't what he had expected. He looked up from his slightly huddled position, eyes cracking open slowly to see startled cerulean orbs staring back at him.

Zexion drew his hand back slowly, rubbing his thumb across the sensitive skin of his forefinger idly whilst his gaze was fixed on Demyx. He could see movement from the corner of his eye, his body flinching away from Demyx as he brought a hand up to touch him back. Zexion couldn't stop his automatic reaction, something that had been ingrained in him as a child, other peoples touch was a bad and painful, it seemed that that muscle memory wasn't going to dissipate over night.

Zexion stared up at Demyx from his huddled position, pained by the confusion and sadness racing across his features. Zexion reached out with the hand he had cradled protectively against his chest, running just his fingertips down a soft cheek. Zexion's mind felt completely frazzled by the sensation's that were coursing through him. He felt open and raw, letting those foreign feeling's rock through him and settle someone in the pit of his belly.

Demyx's skin was soft and smooth under the pads of Zexion's fingers; he watched Demyx's sapphire eyes fluttered shut at the touch of his fingers to his cheek. Zexion felt his whole body being pulled forward, Demyx's arms were curled around him and though Zexion tried not to, he couldn't help but try to wriggle away as they tightened.

His grew slightly panicked, that familiar churning in his gut starting as he tried to get away, voice coming out high and thin, "Demyx please...stop...I need...to...slow down."

Zexion could feel his whole body thrumming with a mix of need and half remembered pain. The feelings were tugging him in two very different directions, as his fever made him feel hot and tired. The feeling of being moved stopped abruptly and Zexion sighed in relief, his body felt heavy – lethargic but he needed to look at Demyx. Zexion could feel the fever heating up again, a light sweat breaking out on his forehead as he stared up into concerned eyes.

Zexion felt the weight of Demyx's arm move and shift away, his body withdrawing; it left him feeling oddly bereft. Zexion watched the other man withdrawing, pain tightening his chest when the dirty blond haired man he looked down at his hands when he spoke, the slender digit's twining and wringing eachother fretfully, "I'm sorry Zexion... I've wanted to...hold you...touch you ...for a long time and I got...carried away."

Zexion didn't like the sadness that echoed in Demyx's voice, he slowly pushed himself up enough to reach out, fingers tingling as they curled under Demyx's chin. Zexion relished the warmth that emanated from the musician's as he tilted his face back up to look at his own. "Don't do that. I think, I have wanted to touch you too...but there is so much that needs to be explained and I just can't deal with it all now..."

Zexion felt his eyelids flutter closed as a heavy lethargy swept through him and he leant further into the musician's body instinctively. "I'm sorry, Demy." Zexion felt darkness take him as his body sunk into oblivion.

Demyx couldn't believe it when those slender fingers touched him. They were soft and barely there, like the fleeting kiss of a feather brushing your skin and though he had reacted by trying to touch back Zexion wasn't pushing him away intentionally. Demyx felt guilty for the fear and pain that his actions had caused, but when those warm fingers tilted Demyx's face up to look into heavy lidded grey, he could see that Zexion wasn't angry. Zexion always seemed to see the feelings Demyx tried to bury so deeply whenever he was around the smaller man, the overwhelming sadness that he couldn't touch Zexion, couldn't comfort him when he was hurting.

Demyx's heart had fluttered erratically in his chest at the softly spoken words and as they had started to slur he was reminded that Zexion had been unconscious for three days with fever. As Demyx scanned Zexion's face he could see the fine sheen of perspiration making his features slightly shiny, a pink flush staining his cheeks.

The sweet admission for the normally stoic man had his heart swelling with happiness and he carefully tucked his arms around the writer when he leant into him. Demyx smiled softly into those soft locks that were now tickling his nose, the scent of mint, sweat and old books permeating his senses. He heard the whispered apology as he wrapped his arms carefully over Zexion's duvet covered body, making sure he was applying no pressure as the tired man tumbled into sleep. Demyx felt something throb in his chest at the use of the familiar nickname spilling from those softly parted lips, pleased that Zexion had finally loosened up a little, even if it was just in his delirium from the fever.

Demyx lay there watching over Zexion for a time, thinking through everything that had happened today and over the past few days. He felt a mixture of feelings wash through him, tumbling around inside him. What he wouldn't give to return to the beach and go for a swim – it had always managed to clear his head in the past.

Instead he looked down at the man that looked unbelievably fragile in his arms, carefully bundled in thick feather down covers and Demyx knew that he would do anything to ease the suffering Zexion had imposed on himself. He shifted a few slate coloured strands from a hot cheek, whispering softly into the pale curve of his ear, "I hope you'll tell me about it Zexy. I want to help you...not out of pity... but something far stronger."

Demyx felt his own body growing heavy; it had felt like ages since he had been able to relax. In the past three days he had worked harder than he had in a long time. Not only did Zexion go to University, but he worked at two different libraries with as much time as he could manage, before returning home to finish his coursework and studies.

On top of that fact, though Demyx had only seen the front hall of his house –it had felt cold, empty and the groceries that had spilled out seemed barely enough to live on. Demyx had never been so glad for his impulsive nature until that moment when he had seen saw Zexion sprawled out on the hallway floor. He hoped never to go through that again.

As his thoughts continued to churn, his eyelids drifted shut and Demyx didn't feel his mind drift into some much needed sleep.

00-00-00

Leon stood in the doorway of Demyx's room taking in the sight sprawled out on the bed. He had been wondering for a while what had been bothering Demyx and, to finally see this, it made a lot of sense.

When the blond had brought the boy – Zexion – home three days ago it had surprised him and Cloud both. It explained the frequent trips out of the house in the evenings and the odd expression that he couldn't quite understand that lingered in Demyx's gaze.

It looked like none of the Strife's would be having children now.

Leon shook his head at his own inner thoughts, quietly entering the room to place the tray of food for both young men down on the empty desk. He watched as they curled closer together, remembering Demyx's forcefulness the night before when he had insisted that he would help get the feverish man washed up.

Leon had had his suspicions as to why that was, but Demyx wasn't one to talk about his problems or someone else's secrets, so he had left it alone. But seeing these two together, curled closely like this, it made him wonder about why Demyx had been so adamant when he was usually the most laid back in the family.

Leon tugged the duvet higher over Zexion's body before searching out, and finding, a blanket that had been flung in the corner of the room, to drape over Demyx before stepping away to watch them for a few more seconds.

He turned to the desk, flicking on the small desk lamp and turning it to the wall so it wouldn't disturb the exhausted boys and walked back out into the corridor. Leon turned and closed the door quietly, hearing the chubb slip into place. He stood for a moment, taking in the quiet ambience of the house for a few minutes.

As he shifted around to walk back downstairs Leon caught a flicker of palest gold out of the corner of his eye. He turned towards that soft hue, spotting Cloud putting sheets away in their room down the hall. Leon turned fully to watch him as he moved quietly moving around, his movements efficient yet graceful and fluid. Leon walked down the hallway on silent feet, feeling the oddest need to have the eldest Strife in his arms once more.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Demyx woke slowly that morning, taking in the warmth of the duvet wrapped around him as he opened his eyes to the dull light filtering through the curtains. He knew there was something wrong, something didn't feel quite right from when he had gone to sleep the night before... if he could just put his finger on what it was. It would be far easier if his head didn't feel like it was stuffed with cotton wool. Demyx rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, knocking away the sleepy tears that had gathered in the corners as he yawned loudly.

He let his whole body stretch out from its furled position, sprawling flat on his back and giving a toe curling stretch to loosen up his tight muscles. It was odd, Demyx usually slept sprawled across the bed, why was he curled up like that? He turned his head to the side, looking at the empty half of the double bed and, like a brick hitting him in the forehead, he remembered the sight of soft silvery blue locks poking up from the confines of the duvet, a warm body buried beneath the sheets as Demyx held him in his arms and the writer snuggled closer to him. Demyx felt warmth rush through him, his body humming with pleasure at the thought of spending the night curled around Zexion, the idea that he had willing drawn himself closer to him. It made a smile split the musician's face as he laughed warmly.

But the laughter quickly died away as he looked around the room, slowly sitting up when he couldn't see the object of his affection anywhere. Demyx couldn't help calling out softly, "Zexy... where are you?"

As he turned this way and that, looking around he pushed the covers away baring his still fully clothed body. The dark blue skinny jean's and baggy black t-shirt he'd worn yesterday were now full of wrinkles from having slept in them all night, but Demyx didn't truly care.

He shivered as the cool air of the room sent goose pimples up his exposed arms and the nape of his neck, the room was surprisingly cold. Demyx wanted nothing more than to remain beneath the warm covers that now lay piled in a heap on one side of the bed, rapidly cooling. But as he thought about it, the bed wasn't as inviting without Zexion in it, cuddling close to him. He looked over at the alarm clock, noting the bright red numbers glowed in the dimly lit room, indicating that it was a little passed nine o'clock. He needed to get to Zexion's lecture at ten, he sighed, giving one last forlorn glance at the bed they'd shared the night before.

Demyx gave a soft groan as he shuffled himself to the edge of the bed, letting his bare feet drop to the ground and curling his toes in the thick pile of the navy blue carpet. He stood and wobbled across to the closed door that lead out into the hallway, not caring that he was still in yesterdays clothes – maybe Zexion had gone down for breakfast?

He made his way out and down the corridor to the bathroom, thinking that Zexion may have needed to go as he approached and hadn't wanted to wake him up. But as Demyx approached the door at the end of the corridor it opened, a billow of steam leaking into the hallway, quickly followed by Roxas, clad only in a fluffy black towel carefully wrapped around his waist, followed closely by Axel in contrasting red.

Both blond and crimson locks were plastered down to their heads, looking like two little drowned cats, instead of in their usual prickly styles. Demyx smiled at the sight of his brother and his best friend together, before attempting to tease the two. Pushing thoughts of Zexion temporarily from his mind – he must be downstairs.

Turning away from the pair and clapping a hand across his eyes in faux embarrassment, Demyx gave an exaggerated wail over his shoulder as he moved away, heading for the stairs, "My eyes, my eyes!" He heard a quiet snort behind him and straightened, removing the hand blocking his vision, throwing a further comment over his shoulder, "Can't you two save it for later – you've contaminated the shower!" Demyx grinned to himself as he heard the pair shuffling away down the hall laughing.

Demyx let a soft chuckle out as he heard the pair grumbling good naturedly about it being too early, before another door clicked shut behind him, his foot thumping as it hit the first step on the way down the stairs.

When Demyx got to the kitchen he saw Leon at the stove, wrapped in a familiar waist to knee length apron in black and red stripes. He took a deep sniff of the tantalising aroma of the fresh porridge that the brunet was cooking and all but drooled, he could feel his stomach rumbling furtively, still not quite loud enough to be heard over the sound of the light clatter of pots, plates and cutlery.

As Demyx walked further into the room he caught sight of the large six seated pine table off to the left that they usually ate all their meals around, and felt a frown furrow his brow when he noticed it was only set for five.

Where was Zexion's place? It was clear the other man wasn't here or in the bathroom. That was when Demyx felt the first stirrings of concern. He was sick – we're could he have gone.

Demyx moved past the central island to stand, resting his rear against the far end of the wooden topped surface, situating himself behind the stoic brunet, watching Leon navigate easily around the kitchen, not wanting to disturb the older man. He seemed strangely at home in this place, especially for a man you wouldn't think would go near an oven with a barge pole.

Demyx gave a small smile, remembering the rather distressed look that had flitted across the brunet's face when he had returned home one day to find Cloud had demolished the kitchen in an attempt to make Leon a romantic meal. 

As his thought's returned to the present Demyx couldn't help enquiring about the empty place at the breakfast table, "Leon – is someone not having breakfast?" He shifted awkwardly on the spot, his gaze wandering to the table set with all the condiments and cutlery for breakfast, once settled their his eyes were riveted, there was something about there not being a sixth setting that had his stomach bunching with nerves.

"Zexion's not having breakfast. He said he needed to go out for a while. Though I did give him an apple to eat – that one, is far too thin for my liking. He looks half starved." Demyx turned swiftly when Leon mentioned that Zexion wasn't in the house anymore, his wide eyes must have caught the older man's attention as he spoke again, "I thought he may not have mentioned that he was going out. He was attempting to be sneaky when he left, which – as you know – doesn't work in this house."

Demyx watched the brunet move around the kitchen as he finished cooking up the porridge, he couldn't bring himself to speak, far too many thoughts whirring through his mind. He stood there feeling a little lost, not really sure what to think as his arms raised and curled around his stomach.

Was he coming back?

Did he not want to see him?

Demyx felt bereft and sad, the fact that the writer had left the house, had tried to sneak out, had him both concerned and angry. Zexion was sick! He shouldn't be going anywhere; only yesterday he fell asleep with a fresh fever! He wasn't well enough to be going out yet.

On top of that, he should have woken Demyx up or left a note - something! But maybe – he turned to where Leon was dishing up breakfast into bowls on the counter by the sink. He couldn't stop the stumble as he first spoke, "Leon, did he...did he leave a note... something...anything?"

Demyx watched as concerned gunmetal grey orbs turned on him, rich chocolate coloured bangs swayed as Leon shook his head slowly. Demyx felt his heart falter; miss a beat, as he turned his own aqua eyes away from those knowing eyes. He felt something painful twist in his chest, he didn't want to see him – maybe Demyx had gone too far?

Demyx didn't hear anything for a few minutes; it was like his ears were full of static. He startled, jumping slightly when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder squeezing gently, a deep warm voice penetrating the haze he had found himself in. Demyx looked up into warm charcoal coloured eyes, a deep furrow between them; he did his best to focus outward instead of inwards.

"Demyx, you alright?"

He nodded slowly, unable to get any words out as he felt a thick lump of pent up emotion tightening his throat. Demyx felt like he was gasping for air, even though he could hear himself breathing easily. His arm's tightened reflexively, hands fisting the cloth of his baggy t-short tightly as he tried to hold himself together. Demyx watched idly as Leon went and reduced the temperature on the hob, leaving the porridge to simmer. That warm palm returned, gently apply pressure to turn him around, nudging him towards the table. Demyx heard the dull scrape of a chair being pulled across the tiles, and then found himself sat down, not really comprehending how he had arrived at the table.

He stared out at the warm kitchen, his vision suddenly blocked once more by sharp eyes. Demyx saw the furrow in Leon's brow and reached out a single finger to press against the ridge. It was something he had done a lot as a kid, finding it fun to tease a small quirk and a warm glance from his brother's partner. He felt calloused fingers grab his hand as the older man shook him slightly; a concerned tone infiltrating that familiar voice, "Demyx, look at me. I want you to listen to me, alright?"

Demyx nodded absently, mind whirring with thoughts of not seeing the writer again, having frightened him away with his tactile nature. He felt his whole body move as Leon shook him and his sapphire orbs locked onto gunmetal grey. "Pay attention – he was fine when he left. And from what he said he'll be back, alright? I would think that he needed some time to think and, I believe, you need the same."

Demyx could see and hear the sincerity of Leon's words and in his eyes, this man would never lie to him – he couldn't, it was a part of who he was, truthful to the core. Demyx heart slowed and his thoughts turned to a trickle. He knew that Leon was right.

Zexion never said things he didn't mean, he was far too precise with his words for them to be misconstrued and, if Leon said that Zexion had said he would come back, then he believed him.

Demyx shook off the daze his mind felt trapped in, staring past Leon to the kitchen, he felt like he had been stuck in a dream and that he was only just surfacing from. When he looked back at his brother's partner he felt a small smile curl his lips. Demyx leant forward and wrapped his arms around Leon. It was rare that he even tried to touch him, knowing how averse to it Leon was and he quickly let go. When Demyx looked up at him he could see the tension in his tall frame, the need he had to get out of his embrace.

Demyx stepped back speaking softly, "Thanks Leon – I needed that."

He looked across to the stove and frowned at the odd smell starting to fill the air, "Hey uhm... is it supposed to smell like that?" Demyx turned inquiring aqua blue eyes on the brunet, watching as his eyes widened before he all but bolted across the room to switch the stove off and try to salvage what was left of breakfast. He smiled at Leon as he quickly dished up breakfast, making a beeline for the stairs to call everyone else down for porridge.

Demyx sat quietly at the table, turning to stare out the window and focusing on the peak of the roof he could see across the street. That was Zexion's house – though he really wanted to go and find him, talk with him now he wasn't in the midst of a fever Demyx also knew that he needed space.

Leon was right and he thought that maybe he needed it to.

He turned away when he heard heavy footfalls on the stairs, Leon returning to the kitchen to deposit bowls of oat rich porridge on the table. Demyx gave a swift smile before speaking, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders that he hadn't even noticed was there, "I'm gonna head down to the beach."

Leon looked back at him over his shoulder, giving a firm nod in response, before continuing to serve up breakfast. Demyx smiled at Roxas and Axel as they tumbled in, still rumpled and damp from their shower. Watching as Cloud quietly walked up behind Leon to whisper in his ear. Demyx noticed both turn to look at him, but just smiled in response. When they were all seated at the table they gave a traditional, "Itadekimasu," before digging into the meal.

When everything was finished and cleared away, Demyx headed to grab fresh clothes and to check the bus timetable. He felt a second heavy hand fall on his shoulder as he went to take his first step onto the stairs. He looked over his shoulder to see Cloud's calloused hand on his shoulder and he pivoted around Cloud's crystal blue eyes staring into his own aqua blue, "Leon said you were going to the beach?"

"Yeah, I need a swim to clear my head." What could Demyx say? He really missed the accessibility that they'd had when he and Axel had been back at school. It had felt like forever since they had gone to the beach with Zexion, it was the one place where he could just think.

"I'll take you." Cloud's quiet voice was always nice to here, soothing in its depth and clarity, it was rare that he or Leon spoke overly much and he'd gotten quite a few words out of both of them today. He knew the reason though; it was clear in his brother's gaze. They were concerned for him.

Demyx couldn't help protesting, Cloud always spent his rare days off with Leon. It was often that they got to spend much time together and he didn't want to ruin that, it was important to them and to him. "But, it's your day off..."

"I'll take you." Cloud's voice firmed, lowering in tone and Demyx felt his protest dying on his lips. That voice reminded him of the few times he'd gotten in trouble with cloud as a teenager, and, though he was old enough not to get in trouble anymore that voice still made him pause.

"I...," Cloud stared down at him in silence. "Thank you... but don't blame me if Leon's grumpier than normal because of it." Demyx got a small smile for that, the tiniest quirk of lips and a bright spark in cerulean orbs, before he turned and ran upstairs to get his things. 

00-00-00

Zexion sat quietly staring out at the sea.

He wasn't sure what had brought him out here initially but, after walking up to his front door, he couldn't face the cold sterile interior of the house. He had started walking, wandering around for a while before his feet had led him to the bus stop.

He'd taken one glance at the destination – Atlantica Beach. He didn't give it a second thought, quickly boarding the bus.

Zexion didn't really remember the ride out, lost in cloudy thoughts as his eyes roved over the changing landscape until he spied the dark swell of the ocean in the distance.

He felt that same warmth that had coursed through him that day they had all spent together there. It felt like such a long time ago, yet it had only been a few weeks. Zexion had finally arrived, disembarking, making a beeline for the stairs that led down to the golden sandy beach.

He shucked his worn out trainers at the bottom of the steps, gathering them up in his arms and feeling his eyes slide closed as he stepped slowly down onto the shifting sands. Zexion could feel his feet sink in, the warmth that the golden grains held, warming and tickling his feet as it shifted, resettling around them.

Zexion tucked his hair behind his ear as he let his eyes open, his whole body absorbing the quiet air that this place held. It reminded him of the libraries he worked in, peaceful without being oppressive in their silence. The beach was fairly empty now, the crowd's of the summer had passed, children back at school, adults back to day jobs they worked practically all year round.

He felt slightly guilty for not being back at the university, catching up on all the work he had missed whilst being sick, but he needed a little space – just a few hours of not having to worry about everything. Coursework, books, work, bills and repairs – everything that his life was constantly dictated by, he couldn't remember the last time he had done this.

Zexion took a deep breath, the cool air filtering into his lungs, tasting salt on his tongue. He settled down in the sand a few centimetre's from where the waves were languidly lapping at the shore, his bare feet sinking in, burrowing into the warm dampness. Zexion let his eyes trail over the beach, seeing distant blur's as other people enjoyed the empty dunes, walking dogs or flying brightly coloured kites in the distance.

When his eyes shifted to stare out at the vast expanse of open air and gently rolling waves, he could feel the tension ebbing from his shoulders, there was something about this place that soothed him – it felt... empty. There were no concerns, no worries to think about.

The beach was free of all the hustle and bustle of daily life, it was raw – natural.

Zexion found that aspect a deep draw on his aching heart. He couldn't help but let his mind wander as he got lost in the feel of the cool salty air blowing across his skin, the tide licking at the sand around his feet.

Though the sky overhead was a little overcast, it was warm out, the sun making brief appearances through the dappled cloud cover. Zexion's mind wandered as he stared fixedly at the horizon, arms lacing over his bent knees, as he let his chin rest against them. Zexion got a strong whiff of pine scented polish and just the faintest traces of something else.

He didn't try to withhold the tender curl of his lips, pressing his nose to the fabric and inhaling deeply. Zexion sighed as that strangely familiar, and comforting, smell filled his senses. He breathed out slowly, one word falling from his chapped lips, "Demyx..."

It was his scent, the polish he used to clean his sitar on his favourite hooded shirt. Zexion had seen him wear this top so many times and, as he had snuck it out of Demyx's room that morning, he couldn't help but take the familiar stripped garment, tugging it over his smaller frame.

It hung loose on him but Zexion didn't mind, it was more comfortable this way, his hands ensconced in the soft fabric. The other scent that he couldn't explain...that was all him, all Demyx, his natural smell.

Even though Zexion knew he had left the musician safely tucked in bed, cuddling the duvet he had been sleeping under, he felt closer to him, being here – wearing his clothes. Zexion hoped Demyx wouldn't be too angry with him for leaving, he had told his brother's partner, he thought that was who he was, that he would return. The tall brunet had given him an odd look, he had nodded and spoke a little stiltedly, giving his name and asking when Zexion would be returning.

As Zexion had been about to leave he'd called over his shoulder, he had turned to find an apple flying towards him. He caught the fruit, looking up slightly bewildered by the other man; he had already turned his back to him walking towards the kitchen, a single word floating back over his shoulder, "Breakfast."

Zexion had stood there for a good few minutes looking down at the glossy skin of the red apple nestled in his palms before slipping on his worn out trainers and ducking quietly out the front door.

This family was ... unusual.

They didn't behave like all the ones Zexion had read about, they were a puzzle to him. Zexion's mind wandered back to the musician, he could see Demyx in his minds eyes, curled up next to him on the bed, soft steady breaths washing across his cheek. He had looked so content while he was asleep, his highly animated features smooth and sedate. It was a rare sight. Zexion hadn't been able to help reaching out and drawing a solitary fingertip across his features, tracing each blonde eyebrow, the curve to the tip of his nose, down across slightly parted, peach coloured lips.

It was a revelation in itself – he could touch him - but did that mean he could only touch Demyx or was it that he could touch anyone now?

If so, to what extent? There were so many questions filling Zexion's head.

Zexion shook them away for the moment, instead turning his mind to more concerning subjects. Demyx had seen him ... all of him and that worried Zexion. Should he try to explain? Should he just ignore it?

He couldn't formulate an answer, his head going back to these constant questions. Zexion thought he had gotten passed it, the wall he had built around his heart to protect it from others, the self imposed distance he had created to keep himself safe.

They were all mechanisms to keep people at bay, to keep emotions at bay, and yet, Demyx had managed to wriggle through. To push past the walls, fences and barriers Zexion had put in place when his brother had died.

He felt hollow, uncertain how to proceed. Zexion needed time to understand, but he also felt like he couldn't understand without him – Demyx.

Over the past few months Demyx had gotten under his skin, and everything about the blond haired musician made Zexion's heart ache with some unknown emotion roiling inside him.

So Zexion wasn't completely hollow.

He was searching - for answers, explanations to the emotions he could feel squirming free of his tight grasp. In the space of a few days Zexion had cracked under the pressure of the musicians emotions, his persistence and he didn't think he cared that much.

He felt raw yes, but he also felt bare...new, wanting to reach outwards, like a newborn foal finding their feet for the first time. Zexion hadn't felt this much since he had locked his feelings away all those years ago. Was it time? Could he finally tell someone his story? Could he stand the pity in Demyx's innocent eyes?

Zexion bit down on his thumb, chewing listlessly as these thoughts tumbled through his head, the sun shifting its position in the sky as the day moved from morning to afternoon. Zexion didn't register the deep rumble of an engine behind him up on the sea wall, his mind far away, floating in a sea of unanswered questions.

That's why he was surprised to hear his name called from a distance. Zexion turned, one hand falling to the sand to steady his movements as his knees fell to the side. He stared out through hazy eyes, catching sight of bright blue and a brilliant smile. Zexion's words fumbled from his lips, "Demyx? What...are...you..?"

Zexion was startled by the musician's sudden appearance, eyes caught and held twin aqua orbs as he moved closer, walking easily across the sand. Zexion couldn't drag his eyes away from him, he looked so comfortable and at home here. He watched as low slung black board shorts shifted on pale hips, exposing a thin patch of skin every time Demyx moved. His favourite blue band t-shirt blowing back in the salty wind, his hair shifted in dirty blond waves in response to the tickling breeze.

Demyx's feet were bare, sinking into the sand as he walked confidently across the sand towards him, his voice rushed over Zexion as he drew closer, triggering warmth that pooled in his chest and belly, "So what are you doing out here Zexy? I was wondering where you'd gone off to when Leon said you left this morning."

Zexion sat silently just taking in the sight of him. He hadn't realised how different he looked out here, natural, calm even. Zexion let a soft smile curl the corner of his lip as he replied, "Just needed some air."

He watched as Demyx looked down at him curiously after he spoke those words. Demyx's eyebrows dipped for a few moments as he gave Zexion an intense look, before his lips broke into a warm smile. His words whispered across Zexion's skin, like the soft brush of velvet, as the musician knelt down bring them eye to eye. Zexion held his breath when Demyx leant in, his breath ghosting across the exposed tip of his ear, "I know what you mean."

When Demyx had spied a familiar head of silvery blue down on the sand below, he'd waved a hurried good bye to Cloud; thanking him for the ride as he all but ran down the stairs. He had hurriedly slipped off his flip flops as he'd hit the bottom step, calling out to the seated figure.

He smiled broadly when Zexion turned, he chuckled as the writer's eyes widened when he caught sight of him. The way he spoke, pausing between words, showed his obvious surprise. When Zexion replied to Demyx's question about his presence here he was uncertain at first of his answer. This wasn't the kind of place that you would usually find the bookish man.

But as he'd scrutinized that pale face, Demyx could see the open sincerity in his features and he couldn't stop the sudden need to be closer, though he didn't touch. Demyx leant in, letting his breath ghost across Zexion's ear as he spoke, before pulling back and giving him a warm smile.

Demyx had really missed him this morning and finding him here, in his favourite place, made him feel exceedingly happy. He shifted a bit, settling himself in the sand beside Zexion, digging his toes into the sand as he leant back on his hands, relishing the feel of the briny breeze slinking through his hair and caressing his skin, the sea lipping at his half buried toes. Demyx turned to watch Zexion for a few moments, seeing him settle once more staring, out at the sea.

When his arms wrapped around his knees once more and he all but nuzzled into the fabric of the striped hoodie he was wearing Demyx realised that he was wearing his hoodie. It was his favourite striped top; he had been wondering where it was this morning. He looked over the writer carefully, taking in how the fabric hung loosely from his slender body; it suited him, the dark charcoal and pale grey bands contrasting with his pale skin and black jeans. Demyx could see his battered black Vans sat beside him, his bare feet pale in contrast with his dark sand coated jeans, that were rolled up to mid calf.

Demyx knew why he hadn't rolled them up any further, but though his mind burned with questions he didn't want to push Zexion If the writer chose to tell him then he would be happy to listen, but he didn't want to cause Zexion any pain – he'd had more than his share of that. Demyx couldn't help his mind wandering back to that day, the day he had found Zexion in his entryway passed out, hot with fever.

Demyx stared fixedly out at the horizon, his mind running over the rest of that evening. He had hurried Zexion inside and once they had checked his temperature, he had carried him to the bathroom and locked the door. He remembered Axel banging and shouting to let him in, but he had been adamant about Zexion's privacy, and told Axel just that.

He'd heard Roxas's voice then, talking to the angry red head, and after they'd grown quiet for a short time Axel had begrudgingly agreed to leave him to help Zexion. Demyx couldn't explain why he felt this need to keep the writer close, to protect him, but he knew deep down that Zexion had his reasons for being the way he was, and Demyx felt compelled to keep him from anyone else's eyes. He'd been so careful as he'd slowly stripped him down, waiting for the bath to fill with lukewarm water, it was the surest way to reduce his temperature, but he knew from experience how horrible it would feel.

Demyx had felt guilty on both counts, for inflicting this on Zexion and for having to expose what he so studiously hid under his baggy garments. But Demyx had known he couldn't avoid it either. He couldn't leave Zexion in his clothes, as much as he'd wanted too, they would only be a hindrance when he was soaked through. Demyx had propped him carefully against the wall, kneeling with his legs stretched between his own, kneeling over to brace him as Demyx had removed the oversized charcoal coloured sweater he'd had on.

As Demyx looked down at the considerably smaller body underneath he had noticed the first of many scars.

He had a thin white t-shirt on, sleeves coming to just above the elbows, as his eyes traced up the newly exposed milky white skin of Zexion's forearms he could see at the hem of his sleeve a slightly paler strip of skin. As he had shifted closer, reaching out, nudging the material up further, taking in the narrow strip of skin that looked almost like a welt, but as Demyx's fingers ran across it he could feel that the skin was thin, and slightly wrinkled – an old scar. He felt his heart lodge in his throat as his gaze had shifted to Zexion's relaxed face, what had happened to him?

Demyx had hoped beyond reason that what he found under his t-shirt wouldn't be bad but, in his heart he'd known it was wishful thinking, nobody who behaved the way Zexion did had a simple story to tell.

He had carefully pealed the white fabric up Zexion's torso, resting his forehead against his chest as he'd extracted each arm and then pulled it over his head. Demyx had looked down at him then, hair even more mussed than before, sticking up in little spikes at the back, sweat beading on his forehead and as Demyx made his eyes drift lower he could see the pale crisscross of slender scars curling around his sides.

Demyx had held his breath then, leaning Zexion further forward, he didn't restrain the grimace or the pained whimper that had spilled from his lips at the sight of his back. The lines across Zexion's pale skin covered his back, a mesh of shallow and deep scars that were now so pale they contrasted with his already pale skin.

He had forced his hands to relax when he realised that he was gripping Zexion's arms hard. He swallowed all his thoughts and feelings down then, pushing them away to be dealt with later. Zexion had been trembling; a dark flush on his cheeks reminding him that he was doing this for a reason. Demyx had stripped Zexion's socks and trousers away, leaving practical cotton boxers behind, to cover Zexion's modesty. The scars extended further down, thinning when they reached his knees.

Demyx couldn't comprehend how anyone could do that to him, nobody deserved this.

How had he survived such pain?

Demyx was even more careful with him after that, lifting him into his arms, resting his cheek against silvery-blue strands, before lowering him into the bath. Zexion's body had stiffened, a quiet moan leaving his lips, eyes fluttering, body trying to get away from the cold.

Demyx had held him there gently, hand supporting his head and whispering softly, hoping to sooth his pain. He had started to sing quietly and he had finally stilled. Demyx didn't leave him in there for long, pulling Zexion out and drying him off with his own downy soft towel. He wrapped Zexion up in the sheet of woven cotton, taking him into his room – nobody disturbed has disturbed them. Demyx quickly stripped Zexion down, keeping his eyes averted as he got him dressed again, his own cotton pyjama's hanging from his smaller frame, before he'd settled him under the covers.

Demyx hadn't done anything then, sitting beside the bed on his desk chair, fingers laced together as he watched Zexion in silence. He had felt the tears running down his cheeks, but he never made a sound, just changed the cold compress whenever he thought it had warmed too much. Demyx knew then that he would never feel pity for Zexion – it wouldn't be fair.

He had been through so much, and he was still here, quirks and all.

As the memories faded, Demyx felt something poking at his cheek, turning his head to look down he caught sight of long slender fingers slowly withdrawing from his face. He didn't even think, his hand just moved, curling around those alabaster digits and pulling them back to press against his cheek. Demyx heard Zexion gasp in response, Demyx's eyes drifted up to stare into wide slate coloured orbs, but he didn't let go.

He wasn't sure he could.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: To Catch a Falling Star – Chapter 11

Author: TheaBlackthorn

Series: Kingdom Hearts I & II

Pairing: Demyx/Zexion

Rating:

Summary: AU.

Zexion stared into Demyx's intent blue eyes, lips parted on a gasp as his fingers were held then pressed to Demyx's cheek and kept there with a cupped palm. He couldn't breathe for those few moments, lungs growing tight as he watched emotions spin and twirl like a current through sapphire pools. He could hear the wave's crash and roll against the beach, the scent of salt and sand thick in his nostril's as water lapped at his feet and the sand was dragged from under them.

Zexion drew in a shuddering breath when the burn in his lungs from the lack of oxygen grew too harsh, eyes stinging slightly. He blinked slowly words spilling from his lips that he hadn't meant to voice, "You know?" It was half question and half accusation, and it made his stomach squeeze and churn as he looked into familiar eyes.

His heart felt like it had been fisted and squeezed, breath catching as his gaze swept quickly away not wanting to see recognition and pity in the sky blue eyes he had grown to adore. Zexion heard Demyx shift, the rasp of cotton against the sand almost indiscernible over the waves. He felt that hand cupping his fingers loosen and fall away and his chest constricted again, stomach roiling and promising pain as he thought that Demyx was pulling away.

But then he was being moved, startled he yelled and found strong limb's lifting him, turning and moving him with ease as his eyes widened and lips opened on a shout of surprise, "Demyx!" Zexion felt panic tumble through him, disorientating and frightening as he was shifted without consent. He reached out, clutching for anything to hold onto and when he found purchase it was with clawed fingers dug into light blue fabric and skin.

Demyx winced at the feel of Zexion's nails digging into his t-shirt and the skin beneath but didn't much care beyond that. He wrapped his arms around the smaller male, pulling him closer and forming a cage with his body to keep him there. His bent knees now bracketed lean hips and legs, arms curled around a lithely toned torso, pale fingers curled in fabric and silky soft silver grey hair tickling along the underside of his jaw.

Demyx could feel each deep panting breath that Zexion took, the warm moist air tingling across his throat and making his skin prickle to attention. His body throbbed low and harsh, even as his heart fluttered in his chest like a trapped bird. It didn't matter that they were out in the open, sat near the stairs to the sea wall or out infront of anyone who wandered past. All that mattered to Demyx was the man curled tight in his embrace and the agony that had darkened ash grey eyes before he'd looked away.

Demyx tipped his head down so that his lips were close but not brushing Zexion's ear. Over the past few days he had finally come to understand why Zexion had so much trouble with skin to skin contact and he knew that having Zexion tucked up against him like this was almost like betraying that knowledge, but he couldn't let Zexion's withdraw.

Demyx refused to use his knowledge of Zexion's past problem's to his advantage. He kept his voice to a whisper, letting the dip and roll of it express all the ferocity and care he felt towards the man held against him, "I know and I don't care. You are what's important to me," Demyx swallowed and hoped that what he said next wouldn't pull Zexion from him, "scars and all."

Zexion gasped against Demyx's neck and felt fear and pain rattle through him in a harsh shudder. And then he felt Demyx's arms tightening around him and he pressed into that hold, not sure why he wasn't running, why his stomach wasn't rebelling, why he felt hot tears prickle against closed eyelids and his hands tightened against skin and cotton. But he did know didn't he?

This was Demyx.

And that drew those tears from his eyes as he shivered in Demyx's tight embrace, hot salty droplets trailing over his cheeks in ribbons before dropping to the thick striped cotton covering his arms. He felt Demyx start to rock him gently, his own sniffles almost drowning out the tender crooning that fell into his ears like warm honey. Demyx's soft sounds of reassurance filled his ears even as he felt the steady vibration of Demyx's chest and cheek as it pressed to his head at every hum and murmur of sound.

Demyx made incoherent and incomprehensible sounds as he cradled Zexion against him, he could feel the sobs racking his smaller frame and they were harsh, raw in a way that made him think that Zexion hadn't cried or, he almost smiled, had refused to cry about what had happened to him. They sat there gently rocking, Demyx's voice a soft roll of sound almost drowned out by the fierce waves that did not stop there endless assault on the beach even as the pain of truth was bared, witnessed and cherished tightly.

When Zexion pulled away Demyx allowed it, though his hands remained on Zexion's arms preventing an all out escape. Demyx smiled tenderly as small hiccupping sounds fell from rosy red lips, Zexion's tear streaked cheeks a similar bright crimson, eyes puffy and red rimmed from crying. Demyx said nothing, but reached out to wipe away lingering tears but stopped before meeting skin, hand hovering in mid-air at the realisation of what he'd almost done. His brow drew down into a frown as dark grey eyes shiny with tears looked at him and he felt his heart shake and squeeze in his chest. Zexion's gaze was filled with hesitance and yet there was something else too, but Demyx couldn't put his finger on it but it made his heart swell with warmth.

Zexion sniffed loudly, but did little else staring across the small distance at Demyx. His heart felt tight, stomach a tumult of sick anticipation as he slowly lifted one hand. He reached out in steady increments, the cuff of Demyx's striped hoody stretching then falling away leaving his hand bare to the salty breeze and Demyx's touch. He let one lone fingertip lightly run along Demyx's hand and when all that garnered was warmth and a slightly rough texture Zexion unfurled the other fingers to cautiously curl around Demyx's outstretched hand.

Zexion cupped the back of that hand and held it pinched between the pad of his thumb and fingers slowly drawing Demyx's hand to him. He turned it over and pressed the palm lightly to his own cheek, flinching back from it before firming his resolve and cupping it against skin. His stomach jumped with nerves, heart thundering in his ears as his eyes slid shut and he absorbed Demyx's warmth on his damp cheek.

Zexion started slightly when that hand moved but eased when Demyx's calloused thumb swiped lightly across his cheek gathering the moisture from his tears. He heard a soft sigh and dared a glance up to see the smallest of smiles curling one side of Demyx's mouth. Zexion frowned but didn't move away from Demyx's touch, feeling wrung out and tired. It had been many years since he'd let that pain loose, let it fall on skin that wasn't his own and it felt better. His heart, that was always kept behind walls of granite, felt lighter, less pained and the press of Demyx's hand to his cheek, the warmth that spilled forth and the obvious care that held him here made his heart flutter and warm.

Those walls of granite were crumbling brick by brick.

Demyx was surprised but happy when Zexion had taken his hand and pressed it to his cheek, he didn't care that the man had flinched back, he understood and now he hoped that Zexion might start to open. Demyx had felt the distance and the walls between them, had tried to breach them, to reach past them to the man underneath – unsuccessfully. But now, through an experience he hadn't expected and had been entirely unprepared for, they were closer. And that made him smile.

He chuckled softly at the frown marring Zexion's brow, intent in dark eyes. Demyx could almost see his mind turning over his laughter and it only made his smile widen and his free arm squeeze lightly. He felt Zexion shift away and then ease back against his hold and he leant in to speak gently, glad that the tears born of years of suspected silence had ebbed. "Hey, feeling any better?" Demyx watched Zexion closely, searchingly as he nodded satiny grey hair falling forward to cover one side of his face as his hand still cupped Demyx's to the other. His kept his voice soft, intimate almost, "You going to talk to me, Zexy?"

Demyx smiled as Zexion's eyes widened before he arched a brow and it brought another laugh to Demyx's lips, "Still don't know what to say to Zexy, huh?"

"No, I do not." Zexion said quietly in response to Demyx's query. He couldn't decide whether he enjoyed the nickname or not, but he supposed he didn't mind it. He had discovered that Demyx used it only when he was comfortable, at ease, only using his whole name when things were serious – like a Mother when she was upset with a child. The thought brought a down tilt to thin lips and a frown to his brow, had his Mother done that?

He sighed softly at the thought and then pushed it away. There were other things that required his attention right now. He looked up into sapphire pool's, clenched his hand in the fabric of Demyx's t-shirt before releasing slowly, straightening and letting Demyx's hand fall away. He drew on the wall's he'd built, shutting away the fragile thing's that always came to light around this man and his face grew almost empty of emotion, though his brow still furrowed.

"Demyx, I have a story to tell you."

Demyx watched in a mix of fascination and upset as Zexion withdrew. He could see it happening right before his eyes, the light that had started to shine through those dark eyes, the warmth that had been a burgeoning pleasure on his face – they were gone now. Zexion looked like he had that day they had met for the first time, all those months ago – cold and empty.

He was half tempted to shake the smaller man until he let his emotions free once more but those words, those haunted words played through his mind and he let Zexion hide behind his walls. Demyx knew a little about that to, sometimes to face the past you had to done a little armour and Zexion's armour was to bury his emotions deep inside himself so that the pain Demyx was only just starting to understand, couldn't hurt him. He sighed softly, smile disappearing from his lips as he watched the man he cared about going cold. "Yes, you do."

Zexion turned then, moving so he was still sat between Demyx's leg's but he faced the ocean that had continued that steady crash and roll for the long moment's they had been sat there and for long moments passed when they had left again. He let his eyes watch white surf bubble and foam in waves, the soft rumble a steady beat against his skin. When he spoke his voice sounded detached, as though it were a tale being told by someone else, and he was grateful that he could still detach himself from his emotion's – even if it was only for a short time.

This would be the second time he'd told this story and he hoped beyond reason that he would never have to again.

"This story doesn't start with once upon a time. It starts on a quiet street, with a park on the corner were two little boy's lived."

_Zexion had been a doting big brother at ten years old. He'd loved taking care of his younger brother Kira, even though he knew Kira was getting a little too old for it. Every day after school Zexion would come home, rush around putting his school thing's away and then take his brother by the hand and go tell their Mom he was going to take Kira to the park. She'd smile, ruffle Kira's hair much to his little brother's chagrin and tell them to be careful. Then they'd walk out the door and down to the little park at the end of the street._

_That day was special - it was Kira's birthday._

_Kira had loved to play on the swing's, the big tire was comfortable to sit on and Zexion could either push Kira back and forth or stand behind him and use his leg's to get the swing to move. Kira had loved doing flips on the monkey bars attached to the multi-coloured climbing frame, landing in the wooden bark chip's that were supposed to stop you really hurting yourself if you fell, never really helped – just gave you splinter's. Kira was still pretty small for his age but Zexion always helped push him up again and again._

_They hadn't made it to the park that day._

_On the short walk past the three houses separating their home and the park was where it happened, infront of the white picket fence in front of Miss Aerith's house. They always stopped to stare at the multitude of flowers in her garden._

_Zexion wished they hadn't that day._

_Zexion had been pointing out this little green beetle that he'd learnt about at school, the small leaf eating insects were everywhere at this time of year and Kira's bright smile had made Zexion's own lip's curl happily. _

_He loved telling his little brother about big school, he wasn't quite old enough to go to high school yet but wanted to with desperation. Their Mother had always said that he was wishing his youth away and not to be silly. Their Father didn't say much, he was at work a lot of the time._

_That's when it happened. _

_They were looking into the garden, backs to the road when they heard someone shout. Zexion had grabbed his brother by the hand on instinct as he turned to face the sound. There had been a car barrelling towards them, the colour's were just flashes of red and orange, the man behind the wheel had looked through the windshield with wide horrified eyes._

_Zexion had tried to move, tried to curl around his brother protectively, but he hadn't quite made it. _

_Time slowed and the car had moved to fast._

_Though Zexion never remembered screaming he had felt the ache in his throat when he had awoken broken, bleeding and alone. His dear little brother stared back at him past crumpled metal and broken white washed wood, familiar blue grey eyes dull, sightless and fixed in shock, lips split wide in a silent scream._

_Zexion had tried to wake Kira had shaken him even though he could barely move for the pain lancing through his chest and arm. His voice was a brittle rasp of sound as he called his brother's name over and over again. When Kira hadn't answered, hadn't reacted, hadn't even blinked he'd felt choked, heart fracturing and spearing his chest from the inside out and Zexion had tried to pull himself closer to his brother and fainted from the sheer agony that seared through his nerves._

_He never saw Kira again._

Zexion shivered even as his gaze remained fixed on the sea; knee's rising, chin coming to rest on folded arms. He felt detached, telling the story this way – it didn't hurt as much. It wasn't him in the story, though he knew it was and that ache in his chest, that piercing pain at the loss of his baby brother would never leave.

Zexion flinched when weight pressed to his sides but refused to turn, staring sightlessly at the wave's rolling and crashing fiercely, sucking sand down and away into to tumultuous depth's. The weight shifted and moved, wrapping around his waist as warmth pressed against his scarred, cloth covered back. He knew Demyx was pressed against him; let muscles relax the smallest fraction so he could feel his presence more firmly as his lip's moved in cool, unfeeling words.

_Zexion had broken four rib's, his right arm and his left leg in two places. He had numerous gashes, cuts, bruises and abrasions and the Doctor had said he'd been lucky._

_Lucky - because he hadn't died like his little brother._

_Zexion came to believe that wasn't any kind of luck. Some day's he had wished for the end. He wasn't a child anymore; grief had stolen his most precious person, the one he'd been meant to take care of – Kira._

_It had taken month's to recover and looking back now Zexion knew that it had all started then – the blame. _

_His parent's had buried themselves in work, his Mother returning to her job, no longer wishing to be at home with the constant reminder of what's he had lost or who he hadn't saved. It was odd that the Doctor's didn't notice – but that was before the pain had begun._

_They always say parent's shouldn't lose their children – Zexion wished they'd let him die._

_The first time it happened Zexion had a nightmare and called out for Kira in his sleep. It was his Father who came and rather than comforting his son he laid palm to flesh so hard Zexion had slumped to his side on the bed, dazed, shocked and in pain. The word's that rang out above him in a cold voice made his heart squeeze tight, "It's your fault – you should have been the one!"_

_His sobs were silent, gasped against his fist as he'd squeezed his eyes shut against the shadow hovering over his bed. When he'd heard footstep's retreating he'd peeked to see two figure's in the light from the doorway, his Mother didn't even blink as she turned away with her husband._

_Zexion had cried himself to sleep, pain throbbing in his cheek._

_The nightmares didn't stop, but sometime's he could keep the screams inside – sometime's not and that's when Father came. He never slapped his face again, but his back, thighs and upper arms were fair game – they were hidden you see. And all the while poison spilled from a cruel tongue and into the ears of ten year old boy._

_When the nightmares ebbed there were always other excuses and they always came with the scent of alcohol, leather and perfume. Hands, belt's, slipper's even knives' had been pointed at and used on his skin. He never protested, growing quieter and quieter, building an emotional wall to hide his heart behind until his gaze grew blank, voice cool and empty. He spent most of his time in the library were it was quiet, far from the angry shouts and bang's of his one time home._

_Zexion made himself cold – pushed his feeling's as deep as they would go because the people he lived with could hurt the flesh – but they could not reach the fragile heart he'd buried._

Zexion's breath hitched as pain lanced through his chest, heat stinging behind his eyes, but he knew if he stopped here he wouldn't start again. He felt Demyx's arms tighten around him and he absorbed the small bit of affection with the veracity of a starving man, because he didn't know if Demyx would still be there at the end of his tale. If Demyx could stand to remain with a man broken beyond all thought of repair. Zexion had no qualm's in his mind that he was damaged, he'd never admit it – couldn't admit it for fear that he might fracture from voicing the truth out loud for the world to hear.

_Zexion had never told – what would be the point? They were punishing him but they didn't know that they could never take the guilt from his shoulders, the pain from his heart even as he burrowed it deep in the recesses of thought and feeling. _

_He had lost his brother, had lived when he'd died – he survived and he'd hated it._

_There were no councillor's, no student guidance, no friends – just guilt and pain._

_Then they died._

Zexion felt Demyx shift behind him, arm's pressing the soft cotton of his t-shirt against his chest. He felt that familiar stir of apprehension when those arms withdrew, the warm press of Demyx's chest and arm's curled around him moving away and he felt panic turn his stomach before pressure returned in different places. He scrambled for purchase he couldn't find and an unmanly squeak escaped his lips before he clamped them shut as he was lifted and placed across Demyx's lap.

His hand's automatically moving to grab at Demyx's pale blue t-shirt, the thing had received more than its fair share of abuse that day but Zexion paid that no mind. He felt the press of Demyx's arm curl around his back, long lean leg's folded beneath him in a tailor's seat, his own leg's thrown over Demyx's thigh. He flinched back when Demyx's free hand loomed in his downcast vision; he hadn't dared to look up, even if his hands were entrenched in Demyx's t-shirt. He closed his eyes tightly, the automatic response grating on him when he knew that Demyx would never hit him as his parent's had.

A warm palm cupped his cheek, the thick fringe of his own hair trapped between long finger's and tickling his skin as the smallest amount of pressure made him lift his face to Demyx's. His eyes were still shut so he wasn't prepared for the soft press of something to his forehead. His eyes flew open to catch sight of Demyx's chin, logically that would suggest...

Zexion's mind went blank as his stomach fluttered and heat suffused his cheek's, Demyx's name a stuttered whisper from his lips, "D...Demyx?"

Zexion could feel Demyx's chest move as he sighed softly, a warm cheek pressing to his forehead and the tenderness in the gesture made cheek's darken further and those deceptively ticklish butterflies in his stomach whirl faster. He didn't know what to make of the tenderness in Demyx gesture, the kiss to his forehead, the protective embrace that had not stopped since the man had arrived and found him on the beach.

When was the last time he'd felt anything like this?

Zexion couldn't recall. He glanced up as much as he could from Demyx's hold on him, seeing the curve of his throat and his Adam's apple bob as soft word's that trembled slightly filled his ear's, "Will you finish the story Zexy? I just ... I needed to hold you – is that...okay?"

Zexion couldn't speak for a few moments, fists tightening their hold in fabric as he nodded subtly, strands of hair shifting and tickling along his cheek under Demyx's gentle hold. But when he started the tale again, he couldn't get back that odd emptiness, the warmth along his side, curled around his back, the press of Demyx's body around his own kept him here in the now and he felt his chest tighten, hands shaking just a little as the story was finished.

"He crashed the car that day. Drunk and driving – she was in the passenger seat. They went out to be away from the house. I didn't come back until late; I stayed at the library until closing. I got home to find red lights flashing in the driveway and a police officer on my doorstep knocking but getting no answer."

Zexion sighed at the memory of a frowning face of the young woman dressed in police black and white's, hand raised to knock again. "She looked at me with such pity."

He paused for a few moments' brow furrowing before he continued again, "But when she told me, the feeling's I assumed would raise stayed quiet, there was no feeling of loss or regret. I was relieved, it was finally over. She insisted that I be taken to the hospital and be treated for shock, I guess because she just didn't understand that I didn't care – they weren't my parent's anymore. They were just the people who'd mixed their genetics' to create me. They were my tormentor's, nothing more."

Zexion didn't dare look up to catch Demyx's gaze, not sure what the other man might think of the thought's that had run through his mind in those moments after being told that they were gone. "You know the one thought that ran through my head? I'm free. I have never felt more guilt at a single thought. That was the only time that I have felt guilty about their death. Those words hung in my mind for hours after and for the first time I wondered just how much they had affected me, I felt like a monster."

"They were gone... and I'd just turned eighteen. The torment had ended and I knew that I would never be...whole again. I had thought I had missed my brother before, but in those days after they died I've never felt emptier or lonelier. "

They sat in silence for a time after that, the sound of the ocean filling in for the lack of words. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence – just a sort of lull in sound. To Zexion it felt as though Demyx was quietly absorbing his words, considering them fully. He meanwhile stared out at the ocean, head turned away from Demyx as he gazed listlessly. He felt stretched, his skin felt thin and fragile as though it was old worn leather just on the cusp of being worn through.

He couldn't remember a time where he'd told anyone this much, had truly felt the word's that he'd said. He hadn't told Demyx that that loneliness had lasted for long years after, hadn't told him that though he'd made tentative association's with people like Axel, he was the first person to reach past his defensive shell, into the cavity of his chest and curl gentle, calloused finger's around his heart.

Zexion felt Demyx stir behind him, felt the long lean limb's curled almost protectively around him tighten and settle more firmly and he felt something loosen around his heart that he hadn't even realised was there.

"I know that park, walk past it on the way to class. But you don't...do you... that day, when we met, you'd come a different way. How long has it been since...?"

"Since the last time? The day I killed my brother."

"You know, don't you Zexion, that you didn't kill him...it wasn't your fault. You loved him."

"But I couldn't save him."

"And your guilt has left you a shadow of the boy your brother loved so much. Do you really think he would have wanted that?"

"I..."

"Those people, they did... cruel, unthinkable thing's... grief and anger can twist a person. But you know, you're not like them Zexion. You've never managed to hide from me or Axel? He wouldn't have been a friend to you if you were a true monster."

Zexion nodded slowly head whirring with thoughts and feeling's he was struggling to process.

"How did you meet Axel?" Demyx's voice was rife with curiosity and open interest and that alone would have made Zexion happy. That Demyx still wanted to know things about him, that he still cared so unreservedly. That in itself was one of the greatest gift's he'd ever had.

Zexion wasn't sure why Demyx's mind had wandered to that query in the midst of this emotional detritus, but he was glad of it. The memory of meeting the redhead that Demyx had known for so long made the corner of his lip curl up ever so slightly.

Zexion shifted subtly, finger's easing in fabric as he began to recount his and Axel's first meeting...

"You know I met Axel at a bad time in my life too. I had a lot of problems at school; my Mom was taking care of me by herself as my Dad died when I was still pretty young. Then I kind of figured out I was gay and the only openly gay person in our school. Then Axel moved to my school and he befriended me for no more reason than I looked like a cool person – even though I was the most unpopular person I knew. I was picked on, berated and generally made miserable. But it stopped soon after Axel moved to town. You know why?

He threatened to hurt every single one of the people that had made my life miserable since grade school. He barely knew me and yet... he helped me anyway. He made me want to be stronger, to be a better person to deserve being his friend. And that helped a lot when my Mom told me that I'd be getting a new Dad and that came with two new brothers too.

I didn't get along with Roxas or Cloud at first. I tried so hard to be a good brother, to make them see I was worth being family. But I guess they just saw me as someone that was invading their family. Not someone that needed a family too. It took a long time for them to except me; I'll tell you about that sometime. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, Axel always sees people – he's really good at seeing beyond what people want you to see – ya know?"

"Yeah – he did at that."

"Hey Demyx?"

"Yeah?"

"There's someone I want you to meet."

"Okay...?"

Zexion stood, pulling reluctantly free of Demyx's arm's as he shuffled himself around enough to get his feet under him. He looked down at Demyx with a small frown between his brows before he proffered a hand to the seated musician, "Come with me?" It had meant to be a request but came out as more of a tentative question.

"Yes."

Zexion felt warmth bloom, as nervous tension continued to roam through his stomach like a pacing lion, when Demyx's looked up at him, eyes soft, lips curled in a tender smile and calloused finger's curled around his own.

88888

The trip back into to town was quiet; the bus was pretty empty this early in the afternoon, no school kid's yet. Zexion missed the way the two young girl's at the front of the bus kept giggling and sneaking glance's at them, because with the feel of Demyx's warm body pressed along his side, the small circle's that the musician stroked on the back of his hand and the emotional drain of telling his story to Demyx he was drifting swiftly into a light doze.

Zexion missed Demyx smiling with amusement at the two young girl's who were clearly skipping class, as their finger's lay entwined on Demyx's cotton clad thigh and Zexion's head rested on his shoulder.

The scowl on the young mother's face when she caught sight of them together didn't quite hide the tiny curve of lip that made Demyx's slightly puzzled frown shift into a soft smile as he pressed his cheek to the top of Zexion's head, the hair silky soft against his cheek.


End file.
